Date 196

"Because you're evil and you lie."

Before I talk about this date, I need to mention that a totally different woman should have been written about here, but unfortunately she did one of the most pathetic things possible and didn't turn up. We had meant to meet a couple of weeks before but I'd messaged her on the day to check that we were still on but she said that a family member of hers had been pinged by the Covid app. Although this was perfectly believable, I only found out as I'd sent her a text so I wonder if she was going to let me know.

About a week later she got in contact and asked if we could rearrange. I sat on it for a couple of days because I wondered if she was completely reliable and in the end thought what's the harm as she was local to me. We arranged a time and location at a pub in Hove.

I turned up, bought a pint and after 15 minutes realised that she wasn't coming. I then sent her a message on Whatsapp and she'd blocked me. I don't know how anyone can behave like that. It's the lowest of the low and, even though it says everything about her, I felt a bit humiliated. I reported her to Tinder as she's still on there and they've done nothing and she's got a profile on Bumble too. I can't comprehend in any way that someone can think not turning up for a date is acceptable. Answers on a postcard, please.

Now to the date that took place. I decided to take out a full subscription on Hinge and give it another go. I matched with quite a few women initially but in the end this was the only person I went on a date with. And she was great.

She was funny, good looking, intelligent and I genuinely thought that my luck had changed and I felt really comfortable talking to her. She lived in London so I said that I was happy to meet her at the South Bank. It was the first time I'd been there probably since 2019 and only the second time I'd ventured into London this year.

We met in my old favourite, the BFI bar, had a couple of beers then moved onto cocktails. And we eventually ended up in Wagamamas for some food. We spent a good 6 hours together then she got the tube back with me to Victoria. I thought this was a good sign as if I wasn't into someone then I'd have gone home a different way and she'd actually come to the South Bank via Waterloo. I also wouldn't have stayed out that long.

I went home feeling confident that there'd be a second date and she asked me to message her when I got back home; which I did.

However, I woke up the next morning and she'd sent me a message saying that it had been nice to meet me but she hadn't felt any chemistry. I felt so disappointed by this and a bit sad as I thought we'd got on well but I'm always appreciative when people are honest so I responded thanking her for the evening too. Looking at the bigger picture though, I was just impressed that she actually turned up...

Date 192

"As merry as the days were long, I was right and you were wrong."

These two dates happened 6 months ago in December 2020 so they're not exactly fresh in my memory but I'll do my best.

The first one came at a time when you could eat and drink outside and thankfully, despite it being December, we met on a lovely mild and sunny day. We went for a walk around a nature reserve and then had lunch outside. First impressions were really good as we got on and I really fancied her.

At the time we arranged the second date you could still dine al fresco, however, as it was a few days after Christmas, the rules were suddenly changed and all eating and drinking establishments were closed. I'd booked lunch in a really fancy place round the corner from me so then we had a problem.

I'd suggested that we could postpone the date for a bit as there wasn't much to be done as you couldn't go in people's houses either and not many places were open. She allayed my fears and as she was an amazing cook, she said she'd make a really nice picnic and we'd make the best of the situation. Problem solved.

On the morning of the date, she texted me and there was no mention of a picnic and she said that as the restaurant I'd booked was closed that I'd better have a plan B worked out. No pressure then.

As luck would have it, I did pull it out the bag. Just. Most cafes decided to close but luckily a couple hadn't if you looked hard enough. So we had coffee and pastries and we even managed to find somewhere that was selling pizza slices. It was again a beautiful if chilly day and we sat on the beach and watched the sun go down. It was as romantic a thing that could have happened but then she had to go home as it was getting cold and dark!

However, largely due to Lockdown, I never saw her again. The winter weather became awful and nowhere was open and as we didn't live that close to each other, there was nothing we could do really. She was also very strongly against getting the vaccine. This was in the days before it was on the horizon though so I can guarantee that she's had her two jabs now as it was becoming quite obvious that she was a very contrary person and was an expert on everything. 

We still texted for a for a couple of months and she asked me to film myself playing guitar and singing a song by The Smiths, as she liked them too. I did that and she loved it. A week or so later I did another for her, although it may have been another band, and she went off on a rant asking me how many other women I'd sent it to besides her. This was when I began to cool towards her as it was such a bizarre and insecure reaction. I think it was safe to say that she tended to blow very hot and cold...

One morning she said she was going to be nearby (even though she wasn't technically allowed to be) and basically wanted to come round mine to have sex. Given that the rules were very strict at this time in terms of not being able to meet someone inside, and I knew she had numerous support bubbles (as was her wont), I would have said no. She didn't give me the opportunity to reply though as she she had found the thing she needed to buy closer to home so wouldn't be in my area.

If it hadn't been for Lockdown then I'm sure we would have gone on more dates as she did have lots of good qualities that I look for in someone but I'm not sure whether we'd have been quite suited due to her very alpha personality and her firm assertion that my tennis racquet is no bigger than a squash one despite it being the industry standard length. That's not a euphemism by the way, just an example of her always being right. 

Date 184

"And so I drank one, it became four."

This date had taken ages to sort out as she only seemed to reply once a week on Tinder. She complained that it was because she wasn't receiving notifications when she got a message, but when I suggested that we could communicate via Whatsapp, she said the last person she gave her number to ghosted her so she refused.

Although I didn't notice until she mentioned it, she was a bit drunk when she turned up as she'd been to a friend's beforehand and had already downed a couple of vodkas. So, unfortunately after two gin and tonics she said she had to go home as she was feeling drunk...

I liked her as she was funny but I was put off a little bit when she said that she'd lived in Manchester and Liverpool for quite a while in her 'youth' but couldn't remember much about either city as she used to smoke a LOT of weed. I smoked a lot of weed in my 20's but I have no losses of memory during those times.

I never heard back from her though and I didn't want to make contact as her saying she was a bit drunk may have just been an exit strategy, which in hindsight it probably was as surely she couldn't have been that pissed after a couple of vodkas and G&T's?! I sort of did want to hear from her again but I've learnt my lesson from messaging people when they clearly weren't into me and Id rather not know than being rejected again.

Date 182

"Pass the pub that wrecks your body."

I had an early warning that this person was going to be flakey after she cancelled our first date 12 hours after we'd arranged it. We hadn't been chatting very long at all on Tinder (about 20 minutes) when she asked if I wanted to meet up the next day. I had a suspicion that she was a bit tipsy but said yes, not really expecting it to happen, and I was proved right.

She lives in Croydon and had initially suggested I meet her there but I said it was just as easy that we meet somewhere more fun in London. The next day I contacted her to confirm whether we were still meeting and she bottled it by asking if we could postpone as she said that the festive period had caught up on her and she wasn't feeling very good; so I was probably right that she'd been a bit drunk the night before.

We'd pencilled in to meet at the SouthBank the following weekend and I was surprised when I texted her the day before to check if the date was still on and she said it was. So I made my way into the capital again and when she rocked up she didn't look like her pictures. I sort of knew it was her as a blonde woman was heading towards me smiling, but I'm not sure I would have known otherwise. There was definitely a resemblance but I suspect that her profile pics were a few years out of date.

We had drinks and a meal and, although I'd enjoyed her company, I was ready to go home but she insisted on going to another pub. I think she just wanted to continue drinking but it was getting close to 11pm and I was more interested in not missing my train back to Brighton.

We said our goodbyes at Waterloo and I suggested that she could come to Brighton if she wanted another date. She seemed very keen and we discussed it again briefly by text but then the messages stopped very abruptly and I never heard from her again...This was probably for the best though and I can only assume that January caught up on her.

Date 180

"Your youth may be gone but you're still a good man."

Before we met, and at her suggestion, we had a Facetime chat. I normally don't like doing that but it was great. We spoke for about 2 hours and it felt like we'd had our first date. I decree that it should be the way forward.

After our chat, she was very keen to meet and although she lived about an hour away from me near the Surrey/Sussex border, she was happy to drive over to me on a Sunday. I was surprised that she was so enthusiastic with her being 10 years younger than me and an absolute stunner, but we'd got on really well on Facetime, so what could go wrong?

Well...nothing really, but sadly she just wasn't into me when we met in the flesh. It was a beautiful sunny winter's day and we walked into Brighton along the seafront, seemingly continuing where we'd left off from our previous chat.

I bought her coffee and cake and we had a mooch around the shops, even managing to bump into some friends of mine along the way. I felt very comfortable with her and it was a really lovely afternoon. 

We made our way back to mine after an hour or so and she popped into my flat briefly for a nose around. I also gave her a small Christmas present (chocolate coffee thing from Waitrose), which she seemed really happy with and said she'd open it on the 25th. 

I got a text from her the next day thanking me for the afternoon but saying that she hadn't felt that old elusive, possibly mythical, spark. And that was the last I heard from her. I wasn't surprised as I'd sensed a possible disappointment emanating from her during the date. I thought she might have got in touch with me on Christmas Day regarding her present as I knew she loved coffee and chocolate but perhaps she just doesn't like Waitrose. 

Date 177

"Shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to."

Just before our first date, while I was walking across Charing Cross/Hungerford Bridge over to the South Bank, I received a text from 177. It partially showed up on my watch as "I think that the elastic has gone in my..."

Obviously, when I read the full text on my phone it turned out to be her tights! I'm not quite sure why she was telling me this though, and she didn't know either. It sort of summed her up though as she was a funny one in all meanings of the word.

After a few drinks, I suggested dinner and she was overjoyed and said that no-one had ever taken her to dinner on a date before. I wasn't sure if she was taking the piss at first with her reactions but she just tended to get very excitable about things.

The evening was fun and in the days afterwards she basically invited herself to my place in Brighton a couple of weeks later for a horror movie night. So, she came over one Friday evening. We had a lounge picnic, watched a horror film, drank wine and swapped dating stories (unsurprisingly I had a lot more than her).

When it came to sleeping arrangements, I offered her my bed and said I'd sleep on the sofa but she was insistent that we sleep together. This led to partial sex until she got shy halfway through and the rest of the night was spent with us writing song titles by The Smiths on each other's backs with our fingers and having to guess them. Her idea.

The next morning I made us breakfast then had a shower. After her shower she announced that she'd left the bathroom door open and was disappointed that I hadn't joined her. So, she was certainly giving off mixed messages. She then proceeded to run around my flat like a child who's had too many Smarties, and began jumping on my bed. At this point, I didn't really know what to make of her, so I was quite relieved when she eventually decided to go home.

We kept in touch, but the texts fizzled out and I wasn't too bothered about seeing her again, particularly as it would have been only a matter of time before she found my secret stash of Sunny Delight.

Date 167

"I'm just a country mile behind the world."

Finally a date in Brighton! I decided to have a brief dalliance again with Tinder. With 'brief' being the operative word. Tinder is widely thought of as a hook-up site but I'm clearly doing things wrong as I've only ever had standard dates on it.

This woman was very hard to get much out of but we swapped numbers and arranged a first date. Which was no easy thing to organise either. The only time she was free to meet was 9pm on a Thursday evening in Hove. She dismissed the first pub I suggested out of hand, claiming it was too middle-aged; which it really isn't, but she settled on my second choice.

I live a bit out in the sticks so aimed to get to the pub for 8:45pm. On the bus I got a text from her at 8:30pm saying she'd be getting there at 9:30pm. No apology or asking if that was ok for me, just stating a fact. So I went for a wander down by the seafront to kill some time.

When she arrived she looked absolutely stunning and had really made an effort but didn't like my choice of table and didn't say sorry for being late. She didn't drink either so had 2 orange juices and the date finished at 11pm. It was fine but she came across as really ditzy and I got the impression that she was just living in her own little bubble with not much idea what was going on outside of her life.

I did fancy her though and texted her the next day to see if she wanted to go out for dinner. She said yes but only if we could do it again on a Thursday night at 9pm (9:30pm probably in reality) as she had Zumba. The place I had in mind closed at 10pm so that wasn't an option so I left it with her. Meeting for dates only on late Thursday evenings did seem odd.

Eventually she got back to me a few days later on a Tuesday and said she was free that night so I booked a table at a Tapas restaurant for 8pm. She arrived still speaking on her phone, which made for an awkward minute or two, and her eye make-up had all smudged due to the positioning of her mobile. I did tell her so she rushed up to the toilet to put it right.

We had a lovely meal and she was really impressed with the food and restaurant. She did seem really young for her age though and quite immature. Although she was nearly 39 and only a few years younger than me, she could easily have been in her early 20's, which she constantly spoke about. She also seemed to be really out of touch with things: bemoaning her flatmate for shopping online, which she'd never done before and she'd never used a streaming service like Netflix and didn't really know what one was. She didn't like alcohol, coffee or tea either.

I never normally do this but I paid for her dinner. I'd had a glass or two of wine and she was only on orange juice so it seemed easier too. Again it was a brief date too as she didn't want to go elsewhere afterwards so it lasted the same time as the first one.

I contacted her the next day and asked her if she wanted to come to dinner at mine sometime and she sent this reply:

Unsurprisingly, when I suggested a couple of dates for her to come over, she didn't open them in Whatsapp and I never heard from her again. Which, is probably just as well as my cooking is shite.

Date 157

"I'm spellbound, oh but a woman divides."

This was another very rare occasion in all the years I've been doing this, that I thought wow! However, this was during and not after the first date.

Giving Tinder another go, I wasn't amazingly into her before we met and the feeling before we went for drinks was that of nervous dread that the date wouldn't last long rather than excitement. I knew as soon as I saw her that we'd get on though. And that we did.

I was straight away attracted to her and we also had the same interests, in particular; a mutual love for Twin Peaks and cats. We drank for a good five hours or more and she could certainly put them away and to me, the signals were there that she liked me as well with her being very touchy feely and tactile. It was definitely one of my favourite first dates and I felt she was the complete package.

On the way back to the bus stop, by which time we were both quite drunk, she said that she wanted to see me again but that there hadn't been any fireworks for her. I found this quite an odd thing to say and at first thought this was a negative thing but she assured me that she'd had a great time and that we should go to the cinema for our next date. At this stage we'd still just been communicating via Tinder and without me asking, she made sure to give me her phone number and instructed me to contact her to arrange date two. In theory this sounded promising but the 'fireworks' comment put a lot of doubt in my mind, even though I tried to tell myself otherwise.

We texted for a few days and were in the process of arranging a trip to the flicks when the messages just stopped from her. I knew her birthday was the day after Halloween so I waited until then to make contact again to wish her happy birthday and see if she replied. She did but I felt if I hadn't been in touch then I wouldn't have heard from her. I mentioned meeting up again and she said she still wanted to but not for a couple of weeks as she was busy at work and the texts stopped again.

I waited until the week she said she was free and she suggested we go and see Widows the following week on a Tuesday night, so I felt positive again. Three hours before we were due to meet she cancelled due to work commitments. I was a bit pissed off as that really was short notice but I still wanted to see her so asked if she was free the following week. She was and we made plans again.

I didn't hear from her again so texted her the day before to check we were still on and she said she was up for it if I still fancied it. So the date took place and we caught up a bit before the film started. After it had finished I suggested something to eat but she declined saying she was tired even though it was 8pm and went home but she said she'd had a great time and wanted to meet again.

The next day I messaged her to see if she fancied coming to mine for dinner in a couple of weeks time but she said she was busy on the days I suggested and that she'd looked at her diary and was busy with work and social commitments until after Christmas so I decided to take the hint and leave it. Rumours of my unimaginative cooking had somehow clearly reached her...

Date 149

"Still ill."

I was quite patient with this date but didn't get much back in return. Things had been a bit unusual to start off with as after chatting for a while and agreeing to meet up, she asked if we could become friends on Facebook as her mother (yes, that's right...her mother!) wanted to make sure that I was real.

She also revealed shortly before our first date that she'd been married to another woman for 19 years and so wasn't very experienced when it came to dating. This didn't faze me whatsoever and I was surprised when she said how relieved she was by my reaction as other men she'd told this to, had run a mile; which in this day and age is a very sad state of affairs.

We were due to meet in Brighton for drinks on a Friday night, however, she cancelled with a few hours notice as she said that her mum was ill so she had no-one to babysit her children. We then rearranged for the following Friday night. I then didn't hear from her so I contacted her on the Thursday to check whether we were still on and she asked if we could meet for coffee on the Saturday instead. I was losing interest at this point and was going to say no as coffee dates never lead to anything in my experience, plus I felt this was a downgrade. In the end I agreed and we met in a cafe.

She was very pleasant and open about her marriage and said that although she didn't label herself as bisexual, she had been out with men before she met her ex-wife and was looking to date people regardless of their gender. We only met for about an hour and made plans to meet again. I'm not sure if I fancied her but I was happy to see her again.

I booked a restaurant for a Friday night a couple of weeks later and then a couple of days before, she cancelled due to illness. I texted her again a week or so later to see if she was still interested in meeting up and she said yes and that she'd contact me again when her cold had gone. I never heard from her again.

Date 147

"When usually it's nothing."

My last date of 2017 and it was quite a brief one and certainly not as dramatic as the one a few days earlier. Which was definitely a good thing.

I think we matched on Tinder and she was very keen to meet up after not really being in contact that much. Despite not knowing much about each other, I was surprised by how much we had in common, and we certainly had a lot to talk about. However, after 2 or 3 drinks she said she had a party to go to so I was home before 8pm.

I genuinely got the impression that she did have other plans, although she hadn't told me beforehand and she didn't want another date so it was a good, solid exit strategy regardless. Maybe first dates should only last a few drinks just to see what someone is like instead of the drunken affairs they sometimes turn into.

Date 146

"There's a club if you'd like to go. You could meet somebody who really loves you. So you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own. And you go home and you cry and you want to die."

This was a disaster. And alcohol and Tinder really don't mix well (neither do craft beer and Jack Daniels for that matter).

About 5 days before our first date, I'd received a message from this lady at about 10pm on a Saturday night, desperately trying to get me to come out with her into Brighton. She was child-free and wanted to hit the bars and clubs. I had loads on the next day so politely declined her request, or else I would have done.

By this point I'd already got the idea that she was quite a party girl. She was also not the type of woman that I normally went on dates with, but I liked being out of my comfort zone and was quite excited about meeting her. 

In the lead up to our date, for about 4 or 5 days in a row, she messaged me to ask where and when we were meeting. Each time I'd tell her the time and send her a link to either a map or the website of the bar. I found this really odd and a bit irritating (I've no idea why she couldn't just scroll back up to when she'd previously asked me) and when it came to it I had to meet her at a bus stop as she was incapable of finding the place even though it was really simple. 

When I met her off the bus she looked like she was on a mission. She was completely done up in clubbing gear with leather trousers and really elaborate shoes etc. and she did look very glamourous. She stopped off to get some cigarettes, then we embarked on the 5 minute easy walk to the bar I'd chosen. 

We got on pretty well and I really did fancy her. Her taste in music left a lot to be desired but she was knowledgeable and open-minded to other sorts. She was really funny too and didn't seem to possess a filter. We live very near each other and she'd lived in my village for a bit, and still frequents it on a regular basis. I was quite surprised that she's also permanently barred from a couple of pubs, though strangely she didn't know why...

We drank solidly for about 5 hours and if the date had ended there then that would have been great. The bar had stopped serving as it was after midnight and we were just about to go our separate ways home when she persuaded me to go to a gay club with her.

Now I really was out of my comfort zone. I'm really not a clubbing person but I went along with it and even started dancing with her. I. NEVER. DANCE. We were very drunk when we went in and kept on drinking. Then things went a bit weird. I can't remember exactly what happened but I'd been doing things like twirling her around etc. and for some reason she really forcibly pushed me away. I was a bit shocked then went to the toilet and when I returned she was talking to someone else. I kept my distance then sat down for a bit. I later went back to where we'd been and couldn't see her so messaged to her ask if she'd left, but got no reply. Then a smiling guy came up to me and put his arm round me and I asked him if he knew where my 'friend' was. I think he knew her as he took me to her as she was somewhere else in the club with other people. I tried to talk to her but couldn't hear what was she saying as the music was so loud. She really looked pissed off so I just left.

For some reason, instead of getting a taxi, I walked all the way home, which is probably a good 80 minute stroll. It's not a particularly safe route either as you pretty much have to walk along a dual carriageway for part of it. On the plus side though, I completed my 10,000 steps for the day even before I'd been to bed.

There'd been a time early on in the club where I was going to get her mobile number, call it a night and just leave. As we'd just been communicating through Tinder (and I didn't have her number) I sent her a message when I finished my journey to tell her I'd got home and asked her what had happened. She never replied so I actually deleted her from Tinder because I figured I wouldn't hear from her and I actually didn't want to know anyway. 

The next day I was still drunk when I woke up and felt terrible as I just didn't know what had gone on. I'm convinced that I didn't do anything wrong but I kept playing it through my mind for days afterwards. I spoke to a few people about it and it seems possible that she had always intended to go clubbing afterwards and might have just wanted me to go with her, but then wasn't really bothered about me being there when we'd got in, as she seemed to know other people there. She had been openly sending texts while we were still in the first bar (not good dating etiquette) so maybe she was arranging to meet people in there. I've got no idea really and it's just something I'm going to have to put down to experience and remember in the future to leave when the going is good...especially when things start getting messy.

Date 135

"The lies are so easy for you."

During an occasional Tinder revisit, that normally ends in me not matching with anyone then deleting the app after 3 days, I began chatting with this Lewes dwelling individual.

She sent me a message during a drunken evening out with her sister, with her sibling telling her to ask me out for a drink, so we met in Lewes a few days later.

She looked nothing like her pictures. I only knew it was her as the pub that she'd chosen was quiet and I pretty much guessed it was her when she came through the door largely because she had dark hair. I knew she was a few years older than me and I'm not suggesting she lied about her age, but it felt like the scene in The Office when David Brent went on his first internet date, so I just hope that when I said "oh, for fuck's sake" under my breath that it wasn't audible.

I didn't want to appear rude as she was a nice person (if a little economical with the truth) so I stayed for two drinks then made my excuses and left.

Date 133

"And when a train goes by, it's such a sad sound."

This date and I had first made contact about 18 months previously through Tinder. We had been going to meet up but she cancelled last minute and disappeared.

Then a couple of months ago she contacted me out of the blue and we got chatting again, spoke on the phone then finally decided to go on a belated first date.

As she lives in Kent, we worked out that Hastings is roughly half-way between us so met for lunch. I'm sorry if any Hastings residents are reading this but it is an absolute shithole. Although I'm only quoting lyrics by The Smiths for this blog, it's a shame I can't use one of Morrissey's solo efforts and describe it as 'the coastal town that they forgot to close down,' as although that song isn't about Hastings, it really could be.

I know Hastings a little bit through Date 99, so I found a cafe in the old town area as it is actually quite decent and different from the rest of the place. So, we had coffee and lunch and then she announced to me that she had a chiropodist's appointment so had to go. I genuinely think she did but I'd have appreciated a bit of notice as I consequently missed my train, had to wait an hour for the next one then ended up getting home 3 hours later due to the vagaries of Southern Railways.

Before she left though, we made plans for a second date a week or so later in Lewes, which is a lot easier for me to get to. However, that never took place as she cancelled at the last minute and when I suggested rearranging she said yes, but she saw me in the role of friend rather than anything romantic.

I was a bit disappointed as I was looking forward to seeing her again but she is one of the flakiest people I know. I've not seen her again but she sporadically contacts me then disappears; as is her wont. She's also a bit humourless at times as I found out when I was being a bit jokey in some text messages and she got quite passive aggressive and told me in no uncertain terms that I was annoying her and she didn't appreciate me besmirching her character, which I really wasn't doing. On second thoughts, I'm probably better off without her!

Date 126

"I've spent too long on your trail. Far too long chasing your tail."

After trying to get by for almost a year by solely using free dating sites, I went back onto Guardian Soulmates after being a sent a massive discount. I was getting a bit fed up with Tinder dates cancelling on me and/or disappearing.

Two of the major times this happened were just so rude. With the first one, I'd booked a table for dinner on a Friday night and only found out she was cancelling when I texted her the night before to confirm. She claimed that she couldn't get a babysitter, although she hadn't made any effort to let me know. But she said that she really wanted to meet me. So, the following week I booked another table at a restaurant for a Sunday roast. She was going to be in Brighton for a hen weekend and even though I said I didn't think that was a good idea as surely she'd be nursing a massive hangover, she assured me she'd go easy the night before, and be fine. True to form, an hour before we were due to meet on the Sunday I received a text from her cancelling as she'd gone home that morning as she felt ill from all the drinking. I really wasn't impressed at all and had no interest in meeting her now.  However, she contacted me later on and said she'd definitely meet me the following week. We agreed to meet on a Saturday evening, but when I texted her to confirm the finer details the night before, she ignored it and I never heard from her again.

Something similar happened on another Tinder date and this was equally as infuriating. In this case we'd set a time and place to meet and I only found out she was cancelling when I messaged her the night before to confirm and she said she was ill and couldn't make it (and again hadn't made any effort to let me know). She said we could reschedule it for the following week at the same time and location. Again, I texted her the night before to confirm and when I awoke the next day I checked my messages and she'd deleted me from Tinder without saying anything. I could have quite easily just turned up because as far as I was concerned it was set in stone (had she not deleted me).

I therefore thought that I'd made the right choice by going back onto GSM after having a lot of contact with a delightful woman from Hastings. We spoke on the phone and made plans to meet. However, she vanished as well when I contacted her to confirm our date...

At this point, I didn't think that I'd ever go on a date again! But then I got chatting to a really funny stand-up comedian and actress on GSM. We seemed to share the same sense of humour and had a really fun first date. I'm not sure if I fancied her but we got on really well and agreed to meet up again.

We continued texting the next day but then they just stopped, so I took the hint, and by now I'd lost the motivation to chase people up.

Date 125

"And time is against me now."

Having met a woman 11 years older than me on my previous date, I went the other way this time and met someone 7 years my junior through Tinder again.

After minimal contact I suggested a drink and she said she could do a Sunday late afternoon as she was in Brighton for something beforehand. That seemed fine to me, however, on the morning of the date she messaged me to say she'd forgotten that she would be going to a gig the same evening, so as it turned out I was only allowed to see her during a brief one hour window in her busy schedule.

It's a shame that I couldn't book a longer 'appointment' as I really liked her, although I don't think that the feeling was mutual. I thought that we got on well and despite the age difference we had similar reference points. To top it all off as well, she was an absolute stunner.

I texted her the next day as I thought I'd made a good first impression on her however, she didn't want a second date as she felt that there wasn't a romantic vibe between us. She did say she'd enjoyed meeting me a lot and suggested we hook up for a beer. So, I contacted her a couple of times more for said beer but she had other things on so I just left it. I'm sure her turning me down had nothing to do with her being a Psychologist either...

Date 124

"And I got confused, I killed a nun; I can't help the way that I feel."

Tinder reared its head again and I went on a date with a woman 11 years older than me. We'd communicated quite a lot beforehand and seemed to have a similar sense of humour. However, a couple of things bothered me before we met up.

After we'd agreed a time and location to meet up she asked me the below question:

I get asked that a lot and it seems to really matter to a lot of potential dates. In fact, someone else on Tinder actually cancelled a date that we'd arranged when she found out my height, despite her being a few inches smaller than me. I've no idea in the scheme of things why this matters at all, and if only these people knew that I make up for my lack of height in other ways...

She did actually say that she'd make an exception with me though as I made her laugh.

The second thing that I found odd was a text she sent me a few days before our date. In it she told me she was in Portsmouth on a date with another guy. I thought this was an unwritten rule in dating? I suppose we all know that other people are going on dates but we don't really want to be told. She also said that she was having a great night and that the guy she was with had gone to a lot of effort, however, she said she'd be friend-zoning him! In this instance I actually felt sorry for HIM. Poor chap!

When we did eventually meet, she was over half an hour late. We got on fine but there was something about her that I just wasn't sure about, and I couldn't put my finger on it. When I got home I was a bit tipsy and she texted me to say that we should go out again and we arranged a second date. I probably agreed because I was feeling quite merry, however, I like to give people another chance as sometimes I just can't tell after one date.

I booked a table at a Thai restaurant for our follow-up and it was a pleasant evening but again, there was something about her that I just wasn't keen on. She had plenty of stories, which included her thrill-seeking adventures sitting on the wings of bi-planes (she'd done this a few days before) and that the father of one of her children was now a successful entertainer who made a living out of dressing up as a nun and driving a mobile keyboard/organ around. Although I still couldn't work out what it was, I think maybe I found her a bit arrogant. As it happened I never contacted her again and she didn't attempt to contact me either.

Date 122

"And who hears when animals cry?"

Back to Tinder I went and not much to report.

I shared a few Guinness's with this very friendly and effervescent individual, and we actually got on very well as she was very chatty too. All that I can remember from our conversations though was her telling me that her brother's cat had befriended a local fox. Apparently they used to knock about together and sunbathe in the back-garden after forming an unlikely alliance against the not so welcoming neighbourhood cats.

Given that that's the only thing I can recall about her probably didn't bode well for meeting up again, but after wisely deciding not to end the night with a few shots, we actually planned to meet for a second date involving dinner as the evening had actually been enjoyable.

However, when I contacted her again she claimed to have met someone else (very quick work on her part!), so I didn't get the chance to be regaled with any more unusual animal anecdotes.

Date 121

"It's time the tale were told." 

This was my first experience of meeting someone through the dating app Bumble. It's similar to Tinder, with the only main difference being that if you match with someone then only the female can send the first message; and if she doesn't make contact with you within 24 hours then she disappears from your match list. I'd used it for a while on and off and had a fair few matches but no-one had interacted with me until this person did. I'd actually got to the point where I thought it was some sort of scam where most of the members' profiles were fake so I was very surprised when we ended up arranging to meet for a date.

She lived in Brighton too and I suggested that we meet at a bar in Hove. The first one we went to was absolutely heaving, a man at the bar kept staring at both of us in a really uncomfortable manner and they'd stopped serving food, so we went to one round the corner.

The next pub was much better and we shared a bottle of wine and had a cheeseboard. I thought that we got on really well and I was definitely attracted to her and wanted to see her again as she was very funny too. So, the next day I texted her about a second date and she seemed very keen to meet up. So much so that she said she was busy the next weekend so couldn't see me then but could we go to the cinema a few days later just to keep the momentum going.

We went to see Tale of Tales and the film was the best thing about the date. It didn't really feel like a date to be honest though as we barely spoke. We were going to meet beforehand to get a drink but she was so late that we got to our seats just before the film started. I really enjoyed it but she found it a bit too weird. She then had to go home straight afterwards as she worked in Camden so had to get up early the next morning for the commute. She said she was sorry that we couldn't go for a drink afterwards but when I asked her about another date she became very vague.

I hadn't heard from her a week later so I texted her to ask about a third date. She replied with:

"Thanks for the lovely offer but I'm going to decline."

I thought that was a bit rude and patronising so I just deleted her number and didn't respond. She'd seemed really up for going out again and considering we hardly uttered a word to each other for the second date, I don't really know what made her change her mind.

Date 120

"Has the Perrier gone straight to your head?"

Another quick Tinder date which only lasted a couple of drinks despite us having a lot in common with music etc. As she commuted into London each day she left after about an hour as she had to get up early the next day. I took this to mean that she probably wasn't interested in another date but I contacted her the next day anyway and, not to any great surprise, she wasn't in favour of meeting up again.

It was a very uneventful date and the only two things I can remember about her were that she used to be in a band in which she played bass-guitar sitting down cross-legged on stage dressed in a Victorian outfit, and that she'd claimed to have invented a new drink. Her drink of choice was a lager spritzer in which she had half a lager put into a pint glass with soda water then added to the brim. This confused many a bar-person as to what to charge her but also enabled her to drink pint after pint without getting absolutely hammered.

Date 116

"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour."

I can't remember much about this Tinder date other than that she was from Croydon and rode a horse that she was convinced was gay.

I fancied a jaunt to London and agreed to meet her at the SouthBank (one of my old haunts). Things were a bit awkward at first but after I'd given her an Easter chocolate treat (this isn't a euphemism and it was Easter Monday) and had a few drinks; we got on quite well.

After we'd eaten we then started ordering doubles whilst she chain-smoked roll-ups and got quite tipsy quite late into the evening. However, although I'd had a good time, I didn't have the urge to contact her afterwards, other than to thank her for the enjoyable evening, and she must have felt the same as we've not spoken since.