Date 156

"It just wasn't like the old days anymore." 

I've not been on a date for ages, and although I've not been as proactive as usual; it's not been for the want of trying. This date, which I'll mention a bit later was the last one I'd been on and that was in June!

The not going on dates thing has largely been down to setting them up and then the other person has either cancelled or mysteriously disappeared. I've also dealt with a few oddballs along the way too. The last date I was meant to go on had all been going well in the initial stages. We'd arranged a time, day and location and had been texting regularly. In the week before our meet up for drinks I'd sent her a text that she hadn't replied to or even opened. Then I knew she was away for the weekend so didn't want to force the matter. I texted her on a Monday morning (a few days before our Friday date) to check if we were still on and received this reply:

Erm, ok....

More recently I'd been in contact with someone off Bumble for about 2 days. She rung me a couple of times and after speaking to her (she mainly spoke at me) I was genuinely scared of her and worried about her state of mind. I would never normally do this but I panicked a bit and blocked her and she proceeded to leave me three abusive and very unsettling voicemails from three different phone numbers between 3 and 7am. At least I found out that even if you block someone on an iphone, they can still leave voicemails.

I also received a drunken 1am phonecall from someone I dated a couple of years ago telling me that the reason she didn't pursue me is because I'm gay. Which was news to me as I had no idea.

Onto this actual date now. It was a really good one. We met along the Southbank on a really beautiful day and we seemed to get on well. We had drinks for a few hours then went for dinner and ended the evening with a lot of snogging.

And then of course I tried to make plans for a second date but she never got back to me. Dating's not what it used to be.

Date 149

"Still ill."

I was quite patient with this date but didn't get much back in return. Things had been a bit unusual to start off with as after chatting for a while and agreeing to meet up, she asked if we could become friends on Facebook as her mother (yes, that's right...her mother!) wanted to make sure that I was real.

She also revealed shortly before our first date that she'd been married to another woman for 19 years and so wasn't very experienced when it came to dating. This didn't faze me whatsoever and I was surprised when she said how relieved she was by my reaction as other men she'd told this to, had run a mile; which in this day and age is a very sad state of affairs.

We were due to meet in Brighton for drinks on a Friday night, however, she cancelled with a few hours notice as she said that her mum was ill so she had no-one to babysit her children. We then rearranged for the following Friday night. I then didn't hear from her so I contacted her on the Thursday to check whether we were still on and she asked if we could meet for coffee on the Saturday instead. I was losing interest at this point and was going to say no as coffee dates never lead to anything in my experience, plus I felt this was a downgrade. In the end I agreed and we met in a cafe.

She was very pleasant and open about her marriage and said that although she didn't label herself as bisexual, she had been out with men before she met her ex-wife and was looking to date people regardless of their gender. We only met for about an hour and made plans to meet again. I'm not sure if I fancied her but I was happy to see her again.

I booked a restaurant for a Friday night a couple of weeks later and then a couple of days before, she cancelled due to illness. I texted her again a week or so later to see if she was still interested in meeting up and she said yes and that she'd contact me again when her cold had gone. I never heard from her again.

Date 110

"Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? I dunno."

I'd agreed to go on a date with this person from OKCupid a few months before but I actually cancelled it. The reason being that before we were due to meet up, she told me that she was polyamorous. I hadn't heard of this before but she explained in basic terms to me that she had more than one sexual partner and that rather than fuck buddies she saw it as them being really good friends who could be intimate with each other and hang out together, but it wasn't just about sex. She also said that the key to it was that all of them were honest with each other so they all knew about what was going on.

At the time we were due to go on a date originally she was seeing two guys, with one of them being polyamorous and the other not being so, but they both knew about the other guy. As I wasn't familiar with the concept I explained to her that I was looking for a relationship with one person and she completely understood and so we never met up then.

However, a few months later I regretted the decision and so I got in contact with her again and we met in Hove for drinks and a cheeseboard. As it turned out she was a truly lovely person and we had a lot in common. There wasn't any chemistry between us though and she actually said that to me halfway through the evening! She did also say that she was having a lovely time and was enjoying the evening and I was in agreement.

During the date something a bit weird happened though as a woman in very tight leather trousers started going to all the tables trying to take selfies with other girls. She came up to my date and did this but then wanted her to properly kiss her and take a picture of it! My date didn't want to and physically squirmed, and so the woman moved onto another table and tried to do the same with other women. Then she moved onto the men of the pub but inexplicably completely ignored me. Which is a shame as I was well up for it...We couldn't work out if she was doing it for a dare or she was a swinger as the bloke she was with started trying to take selfies too, but he soon gave up due to a lack of interest from others.

At the end of the evening I was very kindly given a lift to my bus stop (by the polyamorous lady, not the leather trousered swinger) and, although we've not met up again, we've stayed in touch as she really is a genuinely lovely person.

Date 41

"Under the iron bridge we kissed, and although I ended up with sore lips."

I had a very pleasant evening with this teacher and budding actress who had a penchant for roller discos. She'd lived in LA for quite a while and had some really funny stories to tell which involved some random encounters she'd had with Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro while she was there.

At the end of the evening and after a good few drinks had been put away, we both got the same train back and just before she was about to get off at her stop, and much to my surprise, she grabbed me and kissed me.

I'd really enjoyed the night but wasn't surprised when she e-mailed me a couple of days later to say she just wanted to be friends, which was fair enough. We then met up in Wimbledon a week later and had another fun evening which again surprisingly ended with her passionately kissing me at the top of the stairs above the train platform and we agreed to another hook-up. I never saw or heard from her again.

I'm not a piece of meat, you know.