Date 173

"Do you think you've made the right decision this time?"

We'd initially agreed to meet just for drinks in London but nearer the time she asked if there were any exhibitions that I wanted to go to. I suggested the Stanley Kubrick exhibition at the Design Museum in Kensington, as it was about to finish and I'd been wanting to go for ages.

We went for a Friday afternoon so I got the tickets and met her up there. I knew straight away that she wasn't my type but she seemed nice anyway. It was a really fascinating collection of memorabilia from all his films and being a particularly big fan of The Shining: I loved it.

We were only in there for just over an hour though, as it wasn't that big so went to a pub afterwards nearby. We had a couple of drinks, which she saw as recompense for the £20 tickets, and she then toddled off to a work colleague's leaving drinks. I then headed back to Victoria Station and spent the train journey home wondering why I hadn't just gone to the exhibit on my own.

Date 172

"I never talk to my neighbour."

An odd thing happened at the beginning of our first date. She turned up a bit late and said that she could only stay for a little while as she was a stand-up comedian and she'd just received a call to say that she had a gig, which she had forgotten about. She seemed really nice and we had a couple of drinks.

I did, however, think that this was an elaborate ruse as she'd never mentioned before that she was a comedian. And when I asked her about contacting her about a second date she said that just after she'd been reminded about her gig, she dropped her phone down the toilet and it was drying off at home in a bowl of rice...

Bizarrely though, when I got home I did some detective work and she is a stand-up comedian, and a funny one at that. The story about her phone was also true as when she'd got a new one, she texted me and we made plans for a second date.

Although we both live in Brighton, I was in London for a couple of days and she met me at the Southbank as I had tickets for BUG with Adam Buxton, and we also had dinner at Ping Pong. It was a really enjoyable night, but it was evident that there was no chemistry between us.

I moved a couple of weeks ago and I now live a couple of streets away from her, so she came round for coffee to check out my new gaff. Thankfully she liked it but I don't think she'll be dropping by anytime soon to borrow some sugar. I also went for a walk with her along the seafront and she told me that she'd recently not turned up for a date as she forgot, but essentially blamed it on the poor guy as he hadn't reminded her...despite him remembering to be there.

Date 171

"Panic on the streets of Birmingham."

This was quite an unmemorable date but not in a bad way. It was very normal and nothing bad or out of the ordinary happened. We had a few drinks and talked mostly about music and films.

She had a very striking appearance with her being tall and very blonde and I also thought that I detected a Scandinavian accent, but it turned out that she was actually from the Midlands. I found her attractive, but there wasn't really a spark. I texted her the next day and asked about meeting up again and she said yes, but as friends and that was absolutely ok with me.

Quite soon after, we both moved to the same area in Brighton and met up again for drinks and a catch-up. It was actually a really good evening and we talked about going to gigs and hanging out. And I've not heard anything from her since.

Date 170

"But now you make me feel so ashamed."

I'd been really looking forward to this date but it turned out to be a non-event. Although I always take compliments from people I've not yet met before with a pinch of salt, it's still nice to receive them. She'd sent me texts about how she really fancied me and that she liked the shape I made (new one on me).

As it turned out, I don't think she did fancy me and when I asked her about the other expression, she became quite annoyed and said it meant that she liked my body shape...We had a few drinks and it was pleasant enough but we weren't on the same wavelength and she didn't have that much to say.

We lived quite near each other so got the same bus home and when we got on the top deck she saw someone she knew, and this embarrassed her for whatever reason, probably because she'd have to explain at a later time who I was (which she intimated).

I texted her later to thank her for the evening, which she responded to, but after that I didn't hear from or try to make contact with her.

Date 144

"And death for no reason is murder."

I can barely remember anything about the first date, in which we met in a pub, but she was very keen to meet up again so we must have got on.

The following week we met for tapas (and drinks afterwards) and I found out that she had a unicorn obsession, but this was counter-balanced by her love of Star Wars; so that was ok...Although I wasn't completely bowled over by her, I liked the pace at which things were going and she did seem like a genuinely very nice person. I really enjoyed this date.

Our third date was due to be a Christmas roast but she cancelled due to illness and then went home to her parents in the north for the festive period. I received a text from her on Christmas Day and she asked me about meeting up again when she was back. I replied but never heard from her again, so I never did get to hear about her work's murder/mystery party in which she went as Dr. Fumbles (I was genuinely looking forward to this after she'd sent me pictures of her in her outfit!)!

Date 141

"I crack the whip and you skip."

This was a rare occasion where I really wasn't that fussed about meeting this person, but she seemed very keen and persistent so I agreed to a date. I think she'd contacted me initially through one website and it hadn't gone anywhere and then she messaged me on OKCupid and I felt guilty so when she asked about meeting up I said yes. Which was a bit stupid on my part but because I have so many people cancel on me (I could probably do a blog of equal length on the dates that never happened), I didn't want to do that.

During our brief initial messages, and on her profile, she'd made quite a point of saying how she loved dressing up and attending things like Torture Garden, which is a fetish club. I think she also portrayed herself as a mild-mannered lawyer by day and a rubber clad party animal by night. We met at about 7pm so I guess it was still daytime for her as she seemed very shy and there wasn't really much to talk about.

She was a very nice person but I was a bit relieved when she had to leave early due to her experiencing back pain. I think this was genuine as she went through quite an elaborate routine of squirming in her seat and looking in a lot of discomfort. Or it could have been a restrictive leather outfit she had on underneath.

Date 129

"Kitchen aromas aren't very homely."

My first date of the new year and I again made a resolution to not pay a subscription for online dating, so I went back to OKCupid. This lasted all of one date as it turned out.

As was becoming quite common, '129' cancelled last minute when we were due to meet for drinks on a Friday night, due to an issue with her builder. She did however suggest that we should meet for a meal the following night, which was probably a better plan.

So, I booked a table at a Thai restaurant in Hove, which I'd been wanting to try out for a while. The date was uneventful and all I can really remember was that we had to wait 90 minutes for our main course, even though we'd been told that we had to vacate the table after two hours. which they thankfully didn't enforce. It was actually the second time I'd been to this group of restaurants, and despite its rave reviews, I've never been very taken by the cuisine.

She was a perfectly nice person but there was absolutely zero chemistry between us and I was impressed when she said as much at the bus stop. 

So, same shit, different year...

Date 114

"I was bored before I even began."

This was a rescheduled date as she'd cancelled the first one due to illness. She'd also vetoed my first suggestion of a pub to meet up at as she said that she'd always felt uneasy in it but didn't know why. It's one of my favourite ones in Brighton, although during one of my last visits there; someone had had a suspected heroin overdose in the toilets so maybe she's got a point.

As it turned out we didn't stay in my second choice pub very long anyway. She told me that she'd been on her first internet date the previous week (I was her second...what an amateur) and had kept in touch with him as friends. He'd emailed her that day and asked how her dating was going and she said she was on a date in the evening and he was also. At the same bloody pub! I told her it would be a bit weird if he came in, and she agreed, so we beat a hasty retreat with only moments to spare.

We didn't stay in the next one that long either. I feel really bad about saying this but I was quite bored and so I ended the evening prematurely. She was really nice but I just wasn't feeling anything at all, which is rare for me as I usually fancy everyone. I even said to her at the end that I didn't feel a spark but that we could still be friends. I NEVER say that at the end of dates and she was actually quite shocked and let out an accentuated 'wow.' I must be getting fussy in my old age.

Date 113

"The Story of my Life."

You meet someone and you fancy them, they're funny, clever, great company, they collect vinyl and read graphic novels and they're 8 years younger than you. You spend the whole evening with them and they absolutely enchant you but the only problem is they don't fancy you back....story of my life...

After sharing a bottle of wine (we went halves on it) with this delightful date from OKCupid, she said she wanted to go out for a second date at the end of the night. However, when I texted her to ask if she fancied dinner for our next dalliance she'd decided that we'd be better as friends and that she hoped she hadn't misled me. We then met up again in that capacity for more drinks a couple of weeks later and it was another good night. It also transpired that she likes her men big and hairy, with her current crush being the character of Andri from the BBC4 Icelandic drama: Trapped.

Maybe I should get a makeover...

Date 110

"Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? I dunno."

I'd agreed to go on a date with this person from OKCupid a few months before but I actually cancelled it. The reason being that before we were due to meet up, she told me that she was polyamorous. I hadn't heard of this before but she explained in basic terms to me that she had more than one sexual partner and that rather than fuck buddies she saw it as them being really good friends who could be intimate with each other and hang out together, but it wasn't just about sex. She also said that the key to it was that all of them were honest with each other so they all knew about what was going on.

At the time we were due to go on a date originally she was seeing two guys, with one of them being polyamorous and the other not being so, but they both knew about the other guy. As I wasn't familiar with the concept I explained to her that I was looking for a relationship with one person and she completely understood and so we never met up then.

However, a few months later I regretted the decision and so I got in contact with her again and we met in Hove for drinks and a cheeseboard. As it turned out she was a truly lovely person and we had a lot in common. There wasn't any chemistry between us though and she actually said that to me halfway through the evening! She did also say that she was having a lovely time and was enjoying the evening and I was in agreement.

During the date something a bit weird happened though as a woman in very tight leather trousers started going to all the tables trying to take selfies with other girls. She came up to my date and did this but then wanted her to properly kiss her and take a picture of it! My date didn't want to and physically squirmed, and so the woman moved onto another table and tried to do the same with other women. Then she moved onto the men of the pub but inexplicably completely ignored me. Which is a shame as I was well up for it...We couldn't work out if she was doing it for a dare or she was a swinger as the bloke she was with started trying to take selfies too, but he soon gave up due to a lack of interest from others.

At the end of the evening I was very kindly given a lift to my bus stop (by the polyamorous lady, not the leather trousered swinger) and, although we've not met up again, we've stayed in touch as she really is a genuinely lovely person.

Date 93

"Did I really walk all this way."

I was still on a mission to avoid using pay-sites and so my next date came courtesy of OKCupid; I was certainly getting my money's worth.

We met along Brighton sea front and went for a wander, as it was a glorious mid-Summer evening, before we found a nice pub near Hove. We had a few drinks and she was quite good company but there just wasn't any spark or mutual attraction.

She was a few years older than me and a bit of a posh party girl and former chalet girl, so it was clear that we didn't mix in the same circles as I'm a rough Geordie lad. I liked her but we just didn't have anything in common.

When we left the pub she said bye then buggered off to catch her bus and I didn't have a clue where I was so I ended up roaming the streets for quite a while until I used the moonlight and direction of the sea to eventually locate my bus stop about 30 minutes walk away.

Date 79

"Bigmouth la la la la la la."

I was certainly on a roll in regards to free dating sites, with OKCupid again providing my next date. She made contact first and sent me a message, but for some reason I'd completely forgotten about it and didn't actually reply until 2 weeks later which is most unlike me. After only a couple of emails she hinted that she was very keen to meet me so we decided to hook up for a drink.

During the first drink, we appeared to be getting on, although saying that, I can't remember too much about her apart from her having a very strong but lovely Northern Irish accent and her being a freelance cookery writer. I'm also not sure if we had much in common.

She'd arrived at the bar before me and bought the first round of drinks, so when I asked her if she wanted another she 'ummed' and 'arrred' for a good 30 seconds before saying yes. This wasn't a good sign but I went up and got them anyway. However, when I brought them back to our table she said she had to go soon as she came up with a fairly elaborate story about her boss wanting to talk to her about a writing project even though it was her night off. She was very chatty, so much so that when we'd finished our second drink she kept me for another half an hour or so talking, in which we could have had another drink. I didn't quite get that.

This was one of the quickest dates I'd been on for ages and I got the impression that she'd made up her mind about me very quickly due to her indecision regarding the second drink. I didn't bother to contact her again, however, we had been playing Words with Friends and although she played her move that night, when I played mine, she stopped and the game was never completed. I probably was more annoyed about this as I hate winning word games due to a forfeit.

Date 77

"And tell me how long before the right one?"

Having not been on a date for almost 5 months, this one really came out of the blue. After giving up on pay-sites, I had occasionally been looking back on OKCupid in the intervening period, without much success. Then a week or so ago (late May) I received a reply from this person.

Her profile was very sparse, but what she did say was funny, she was also attractive AND was a fan of The Smiths. I only sent a reasonably short message to her and to my amazement she responded with an essay. In that reply she also intimated about meeting up. So, we agreed to do so after a couple of messages.

In between the time I first messaged her and to us meeting just over a week later, we had a lot of email contact back and forth and she was absolutely hilarious. When this happens, you get used to the daily routine  of hearing from this person all day and you begin to look forward to it. Being the same age, we had the exact same taste in music, films and TV and there always seemed to be so much to say to each other. It became quite intense and it's quite odd really because you tend to build up an imaginary 'picture' of what someone is going to be like before you've met them and you think you know them better than you actually do.

As is sometimes the case, I was very excited about meeting her. I didn't want to be though...This may sound like a strange statement, but with dates, I prefer to not really think about them beforehand and I try and lower my expectations so as not to be disappointed if things don't go well. She seemed to be looking forward to it too and I was getting butterflies in my stomach days in advance, which is extremely rare for me.

We met in a bar on the Southbank at 6pm and I got there a bit early and acquired perfect 'booth' seats which are like gold dust in this particular bar as it's so popular. When she turned up, I was impressed and she looked absolutely stunning. We then spent the next few hours having very surreal conversations and just getting to know each other better. I was having a ball and I remember there being a lot of laughter. She also had some great stories to tell and I was absolutely starstruck when I found out that she knew two members of one of my favourite bands, Veronica Falls, and they were always dropping by her house!

As we'd had a few drinks, we needed food so moved onto a restaurant, shared a bottle of wine then had one last drink before she said she needed to go home. So, I walked her to her bus stop, made sure she got on alright and kissed her goodbye.

By now it was around 11:30 pm so we'd spent a good 5 and a half hours together and I thought that things had gone well. I messaged her when I got home and said that I'd really enjoyed myself and would she like to come out with me again later in the week as I was thinking about going to an event that I knew she'd want to go to. Normally, I leave these things a day or two but I thought what's the point in playing games, so what the hell.

I didn't hear from her until late the next evening and she simply sent me a reply saying she'd had fun but was busy every night that week and sorry. I responded by saying that wasn't a problem and whether she was free again another time. I never heard from her after that.

I'm not really sure what happened, but I guess I just liked her more than she liked me. Being so excited beforehand did worry me as I knew I'd be disappointed if things didn't go to plan and that proved to be the case. On occasions in the past, I have found that women have wanted to see me again when I haven't been really bothered and vice versa, so it's possible that when I'm enthusiastic then women are perhaps not as interested. Saying that though, I'm sure I'm just myself and I think I was for this date.

I don't mind if she wasn't that into me as it would be ridiculous to agree to see me again if she didn't want to. However, I'd got into a bit of a routine of being in so much contact with her and I thought that her response to my request of a second date was rude and it just seemed rather abrupt. I suppose I'm also quite surprised when a date lasts quite a long time and they don't want to see you again, as surely you'd just go home after a couple of drinks if you weren't enjoying the company?

Anyway, I'm still feeling quite sad a couple of days later, which I know is completely irrational and ridiculous after one date, but I really liked her. Which maybe says it all...

I do, however, think that she's the closest woman I've ever been on a date with that matches what I'm looking for...although without the ignorance and headfuckery obviously.

Finally, to paraphrase Pointless' wonderful Richard Osman: at least I got an anecdote out of it.

Date 76

"See the luck I've had can make a good man turn bad."

My first date of 2013 and any thoughts I had that a new year would bring about a change in my fortunes were quickly dashed here.

Having gone back to OKCupid to try my luck again, I was quite optimistic even before I'd met this person. She'd seemed very keen to meet me and sent me her phone number and times when she was free after only a few messages without me asking, so things did seem very promising and for the first time in ages, I was actually excited about this date rather than nervous.

Even before the date started though, my evening got off to a very bad start. Just as I was about to catch my train, I went to a cash point and the ATM inexplicably swallowed my card without warning, so thanks for trying to ruin my night: HSBC. There was absolutely no reason for this to happen as I'd entered the right pin and I wasn't overdrawn. I just didn't know what to do as I only had about a fiver in my wallet. What do you do in a situation like that as I could hardly turn up on a date without any money? I was very close to ringing her up and cancelling but my Knight in Shining Armour suddenly appeared in the form of my sister's boyfriend! Luckily he hadn't gone into work that day as he'd been doing stuff from home, so he drew some cash out for me and even lent me his Oyster card, and I even made my train...what a man.

Despite that little drama and the fact that my train was severely delayed, I managed to get to the bar we were meeting in at the right time and although she was fashionably 15 minutes late it didn't really matter as it gave me time to cancel my debit card and catch my breath.

When she did turn up we seemed to hit it off straight away and we had so much to talk about. Being 4 years older than me meant that we had almost identical reference points in terms of music and she was also a History teacher which was useful as I used to work in that sector. However, something that I think probably put me at a disadvantage was the fact that she was doing some thing where she wasn't going to be drinking any alcohol for the whole of January. I don't really understand these sorts of things as I sometimes go for a whole month without any booze and I don't even notice so I can only imagine that she's normally a big drinker.

After a couple of drinks (soft ones for her) we called it a night as it was getting late and at the end of the evening I was actually surprised by how much I'd fancied her. We said our goodbyes and although I'm always pessimistic about second dates, I thought there was a really good chance of her wanting to meet up again as the evening had been a good laugh and, in my eyes, there was a lot of potential.

How wrong I was. I sent her a message the next day saying that I'd had a really enjoyable evening and I asked her if she wanted to meet up again and she replied by saying: 'nice to meet you too but I think I'd like to leave it as one night.' Although she was being honest, I found that a bit patronising (anyone else think that too?). And after brushing these knock-backs aside in the past I am actually starting to seriously wonder what women are actually looking for and what (if anything) I'm doing wrong. I also think that if she'd had her beer goggles on then another date would have happened. Possibly. 

Date 62

"If you're so very entertaining,

then why are you on your own tonight?"

This date pretty much sums up the pitfalls which can occur with internet dating and why a lot of the time it can be a frustrating and not very pleasurable experience.

My 3rd date from OKCupid and one that really came out of the blue. She messaged me first which was surprising as I hadn't logged on at the site for a few months so I'm amazed that I cropped up in her search. Anyway, her mails were the funniest I've ever read and we shared a love of Forbrydelsen (the Danish tv police drama phenomenon translated as The Killing) amongst other things, so I was intrigued. She even compared herself to Forbydelsen lead character, Detective Inspector Sarah Lund, by claiming that she owned an extensive range of knitwear and had a great arse in jeans, which was a bit cocky to say the least.

After a few days of exchanging really, very funny e-mails, she sent me her mobile number and told me to call her one night which was very forward of her. I'm not particularly fond of talking on the phone at the best of times, so speaking to a complete stranger and potential date was a bit nerve-wracking. I rang her anyway and we had a good chat although neither of us mentioned going on a date as I think maybe we were both waiting for the other to ask and I couldn't gauge whether she wanted to or not. I left it about a day then asked her about meeting up and she agreed thankfully and started texting me a fair bit.

We met up at a bar and she was one of the most confident and self-assured people that I've ever come across, which was plainly evident when she started happily conversing with a German party in their native tongue, whose reserved table we were temporarily trespassing on.

I've said this many times before, but from my point of view we got on really well as she was hilarious. I also thought she liked me too when at one point she said: 'I'm sorry, but I have to say this. How the hell are you single as you're really interesting and fantastic company?! You're not married are you?!' I didn't really know how to respond but surely that's a good sign if someone says that you on a date, right?

I, therefore, thought that there would be a good chance of us meeting again. How wrong I was. I messaged her a couple of days later, after not hearing a peep from her, to enquire about a second date and she completely ignored it and I never heard from her again. Whilst it's disappointing to receive a message back saying 'no, thank you,' it's much more preferable to being met with stone, cold silence. Honesty is always the best policy as you can't expect every girl to like you so that's fair enough, but when you've actually met someone in person and they know that you're waiting to hear back from them, then to say nothing is just bloody rude and very arrogant. She works for a major bank in the city and is obviously experienced in screwing people over, so I clearly got served by a true playa.

UPDATE (February 2012): About 5 months after our solitary date, I was having a quick browse on OKCupid. I happened to see her profile and decided to click on it for a bit of a nose and it transpired that she was now living in New York. The next morning there was an email waiting in my inbox from her telling me about her big move and asking how I was. I didn't really want to reply but because I have manners (unlike her): I did.

I happened to mention that I was now on match.com. She then went on a bit of a rant about how I should be going to gigs and meeting women rather than bothering with dating sites and that said sites don't work as they're more geared towards social networking than finding romance.

I have to say that what she said makes sense particularly the social networking part, however, there are a number of points where her argument falls down slightly. Firstly, why is she still actively using a dating website if it's so easy to acquire dates from other means. Secondly, when using these sites I've always believed that you should treat others as you'd liked to be treated yourself, therefore, not replying to someone after a date even just to say 'no, thank you' is really bad form and a perfect example of how so many people just see internet dating as a big game. Thirdly, how difficult is it to meet girls at gigs? I go to a lot of gigs with friends, where I catch up with them and we watch the band in question. How is it possible to start going round a venue and chatting women up with a band performing and the music blaring out. It's difficult enough trying to get a good position to see when it's packed, then when the gig is over there's a mad scramble to get out of the door. And finally, my sister and another friend of mine are both in happy and long-term relationships with men they've met off Guardian Soulmates. Whilst I believe they are in the minority and have been extremely lucky; they are proof that dating sites can work as you usually meet people you'd never normally come into contact with.

Oh, well, it's probably just as well that we didn't go on that second date after all...

Date 59

"I've seen you smile, but I've never really heard you laugh."

After another brief hiatus from dating, I decided to give OkCupid another go. And, boy, is it difficult to get a reply on there, let alone a date, which is highlighted by the fact that I've only met two women off it after being sporadically on it for a year (technically, it should have been more as at least two girls agreed to meet me for drinks but never replied when I tried to arrange them).

As I'd alluded to in an earlier post, being on a free site doesn't mean that you're going to go on loads of dates, as, on paper, OKCupid is full of intelligent and like-minded people supposedly looking to meet others. However, being a free site does often mean that there are going to be lots of members and this results in predominantly women being bombarded with messages (including a lot from socially inept freaks). Another reason could be that with a pay site, members are possibly more likely to go on dates to get their money's worth, which I think is backed up by the high number of dates I've been on through pay sites compared to the low number on free sites. Having said all that, though, this could all be bollocks as maybe people are just becoming more choosy, super fussy, up their own arses or just plain rude.

To the date itself. We'd been e-mailing for a good few months, and, although her constant overuse of the acronym 'LOL' was a bit annoying (a real pet hate of mine, which, surely should be a punishable offence), she seemed nice. Anyway, she asked if I'd like to meet for a drink and as she fancied coming to London, she travelled up from Brighton to see me. We had a very pleasant afternoon and evening drinking along the South Bank, and although we were still in text contact the following week and she did ask if I wanted to meet up again but things just fizzled out and we never did. I also wasn't overly enamoured by her assertion that I was the spitting image of Coronation Street's Steve McDonald. I've since asked a number of friends and they assure me that this isn't the case. At all. No, sir. Really, I don't. Look, I don't resemble him in any shape or form whatsoever.

UPDATE: 2014

Upon moving to Brighton in early 2014, she actually made contact with me through OKCupid again. We met up for drinks and it was nice to see her. But, there was something odd about her though that I just couldn't put my finger on and we never saw each other again.

Date 57

"Then on the sand, another man, he takes her hand, a smile lights up her stupid face (and well it would)."

After not having much success on match.com I decided to try a free site as I was starting to begrudge having to fork out money on a monthly basis just to meet the occasional weirdo or person with no manners.

The site in question was called OKCupid and it certainly on paper is one of the better free sites around. In fact, its design layout and volume of people registered puts most of the famous pay-sites to shame. Being free and having lots of members, though, doesn't equate to going on a lot of dates, which is something that I will address further in a future blog entry.

After being on the site for a few months and basically not receiving any replies or interest, I was amazed when date 57 contacted me. After exchanging a few messages, we then agreed to meet for a drink at the end of October 2010. The first things I noticed about her were her Elvis/Marilyn earrings and height. Her profile said she was 5'10'' but she's actually about 6'2'', so she pretty much towered above me as I'm not particularly tall. Anyway, we got on exceptionally well and she completely drank me under the table, although she does have the advantage of being Amazonian, Australian and still being in the throes of youth as I'm more than 5 years older than her. She tainted herself slightly by opining that The Smiths 'are so depressing,' but she redeemed herself when she let on to me that she was addicted to Final Fantasy (a Playstation title I used to be into when I was a big gamer years ago).

Our second date was a week later and started off in Angel. It was bonfire night so I bought her some jumbo sparklers, which she loved, and we made our way to Camden, lighting a few along the way. We went to so many pubs that I lost count, via a really bad Mexican restaurant, where the Mariachi band just wouldn't leave us alone and we had some really strong cocktails. Then at the end of the night I was really surprised when she asked me to go back to hers, although she said that she couldn't promise me any 'sexy sex' (her exact words). We'd already drank a vast quantity of alcohol that night and when we got back to hers we started on a bottle of red. So, by the time we did go to bed we both fell asleep instantly whilst watching The Time Traveller's Wife, which I've since been told is the best way to see it. And there was no 'sexy sex.'

The next morning I woke up with the worst hangover I've ever had in my life, yet she was remarkably as fresh as a daisy, suffering no ill effects whatsoever. I must have been still drunk as I felt like I was in someone else's body. We then went to a cafe and she polished off a full English breakfast without any trouble, yet I could only manage one or two bites out of a bacon sandwich before I had to admit defeat and leave the rest. I must have been terrible company, but I just couldn't function properly and all I could think of was the long journey home, which took 2 hours on the tube and train, and how I just wanted to go to bed for the rest of the day. I explained to her that I just felt so ill that I really had to go, which I don't think she understood, but if I'd have felt fine then I would genuinely have stayed with her.

Arranging a 3rd date then became a bit of a problem as she kept cancelling on me at the last minute. I did think at the time that it was because of my poor showing the morning after our second date but I needn't have worried as I received an interesting text from her on the morning of our 3rd date. In it she said that she liked being with me but only as a friend and that she'd been seeing someone else at the same time and wanted to see how things worked out with him. I wasn't devastated but I was disappointed and decided to cancel as I just didn't feel like seeing her that evening.

So that was that, and I didn't attempt to contact her. A month or so later I received a text from her out of the blue asking if I wanted to go out for a pre-Christmas 2010 drink. I didn't see any harm in it so I agreed, and whilst it was a bit awkward at first, we had a really good time. A funny thing did happen though during the afternoon as whilst we were sitting outside having a drink and a smoke, a woman came over to our table and basically sat down with us and started chatting me up. This is an extremely rare occurrence for me and we swapped contact details when she had to go, although my Aussie friend actually seemed quite pissed off at this and left soon after. When I did try to contact the flirty woman at a later date, she palmed me off, so nothing ever came of it, but it was quite good for my ego.

I then received another interesting text from her a few days after Christmas. In it she poured her heart out to me and went on a bit of a rant about how all men were arseholes as the guy she'd chosen over me had dumped her on Christmas Day; what a nice chap! I was sympathetic with her to a point but the irony certainly wasn't lost on me.