Date 188

"The Hand that Rocks the Cradle." 

Given that this person lived in Kent, I didn't think that there was much chance of us meeting up and I'd not left Brighton since pre-lockdown either. We'd been chatting for a week or so and she suggested that we meet in London the following evening. 

She then cancelled the next morning as her child's nanny possibly had Covid and to be honest I was actually relieved as the thought of getting on the train to London made me nervous. It turned out that the nanny just had some 24 hour bug so we arranged to meet the following week.

This gave me a bit of time to get used to the idea of venturing out of Sussex, although I was slightly suspicious of her being vehemently against meeting at my old favourite the BFI bar.

We were due to meet at 6:30pm on a Thursday but I got a text from her on the day saying we could meet earlier as she didn't have much on work-wise. So, I got ready early and worked out my trains and told her the one I'd get and that train came and went and I didn't hear from her. So, I texted her and she just said: "oh, sorry, got distracted." This pissed me off as we then just met at the original time...

We met at Gordon's Wine Bar and I realised why she was so adamant about this being our meeting place, as she only had to get a quick train to Charing Cross, whereas I had to get the tube as well. As it turned out there was a massive queue to get in so we went elsewhere. She admitted later on that she'd been completely "self-serving" in why we went there initially as it was much more convenient for her, whereas the place I suggested would have meant that neither of us would have had to have got on the tube. Anyway, I digress and to rewind things back a bit, when I caught sight of her; I just knew that I didn't fancy her.

We made our way along the Strand and went to a Tapas restaurant (which we'd both been to before), initially for drinks but we ended up eating there too. I actually had a really pleasant evening and the food and wine was excellent. I also killed 4 birds with one stone as it was the first time since March that I'd been to London, got on a train, used the tube and been to a restaurant. 

I think she really liked me and on the way back to the station she kept asking me if I'd had a good time. I genuinely had enjoyed myself, which I said to her as we were both about to part ways, but I also told her that I didn't see anything romantic between us but I'd be happy to stay in touch if she wanted. She looked disappointed but I said to her that I was just being honest. I didn't hear from her again, which was absolutely fair enough, and that's a situation I've been in many times so I understand that although any sort of rejection hurts, honesty really is the best policy and that if there isn't a spark then what's the point? It did feel good to get out and about again though and because places have to shut at 10pm now, I was home before midnight!!! Woohoo.

Date 178

                                    "A double bed and a stalwart lover for sure."

After chatting quite a lot on Bumble, our first date was arranged only a few hours before we ended up meeting. We both had a free Friday evening so met in a pub near me.

If I can be allowed to be shallow for a moment, I was pleasantly surprised when she walked in the pub as her profile pictures didn't do her justice and she looked a lot younger than she actually was. We got on really well and got pretty drunk and we ended up going back to my flat and sleeping together.

The sex was great. The best I've had in a long time. Although she'd lived in Brighton for years and years, she'd grown up in Croydon and at one point during the night, her previously hidden strong South London accent came to the fore when she said "can I suck your dick?" You had to be there...

We really paid for our drunkenness and lack of sleep in the morning though. She went home in a taxi and straight to bed but I had to make my way to East London to see Newcastle thankfully beat West Ham 3-2. I'm not sure how I got there on only one hour's sleep but the adrenalin and jubilation got me home. This might have been different had we lost.

The next day she texted me and wanted me to go to an event with her in which loads of her friends were going. I felt this was a bit fast to be meeting her friends but she was very insistent and kept going on about it all day, even though I kept saying no. It sounded like a really good show but the thought of meeting her friends felt daunting but she wouldn't let it go. I thought that was that but then she invited herself round after it had finished and drove over.

It was about 8pm on a Sunday night and so we went for a walk along the seafront and went back to my flat for a cup of tea. I liked her but she was becoming really intense and talking about future things and it felt like she thought we were a couple. She was fairly recently divorced so I think she was looking to go straight from that to another serious relationship.

I couldn't see her that week as I was having building work done at my flat so stayed elsewhere for a few days. Her texts were becoming really incessant though, to the extent that if I didn't reply instantly then she would send another one not long after.

I was getting really put off by this and if I didn't reply straight away I'd feel guilty!!! This went on for another week and I just wasn't enjoying being in contact with her. She was a really nice person but every time I thought about having another date it just didn't make me excited.

In the end I thought that I just had to put an end to things. I was worried that she'd react in an adverse way so I got a friend to help me compose a text to her. I know how I feel when I like someone and it's not reciprocated so it's best to let the other person know what's happening. I told her that we'd had a lovely time together but it's not the right thing for me and that I hope she understood. She took a day to respond but she was really nice about it so I got an unusually mature response from someone for a change.

Although I am looking for a meaningful relationship, she just wasn't the woman I want one with.  In spite of the fact that she sounds like Adele (her description of her accent) in the bedroom. And I don't mean her singing voice.

Date 174

"Work is a four letter word."

I sensed that there would be problems here as she didn't seem to ever take a day off work. Being a nurse and also running her own business in London and Cornwall meant that she never stopped.

We met along the Southbank one evening, as she uncharacteristically was taking a couple of days off. There was an incredibly powerful downpour as she was on her way to meet me so had to walk around the bar in her bare feet as her socks and shoes were absolutely drenched.

We went for dinner too and got on really well, although her taste in music is rather questionable. After eating, we went to the bar at the Royal Festival Hall and witnessed a rather bizarre event. A woman was happily tapping away at her MacBook, surrounded by empty plastic cups, and every so often would lean over and vomit all over the floor, but was making no effort to get to the toilet or clean it up. In the end my companion talked to the bar staff and they intervened to help her out, as she was absolutely shitfaced and in a really bad way.

That obviously didn't hinder the night though and we had a bit of a snog (me and my date, not the drunk vomity girl). We also discussed having a second date where she'd come and visit me in Brighton.

I didn't really hear much from her as she apparently wasn't taking another day off for another month or so. I did get a text from her a few weeks later saying she was going to be in Brighton for work on a Sunday so she could see me for a little bit. As it happened, I was meant to be having friends round and she was actually going to be in Crawley, which is about 20 miles from me. I couldn't cancel my friends coming round as it was such short notice so suggested she could come over afterwards. She said that she didn't fancy waiting in her car for a few hours (which isn't what I had meant, plus she hadn't given me any indication of when or if she'd actually make it over to Brighton) and she had to be up early for work the next day. I did enquire when her next day off would be and she thought she had a solitary Friday off soon. I asked if we should pencil it into our diaries but she didn't respond and that day came and went, and I've not heard from her since.

We did get on really well but when someone likes Elbow, I see that as a big red flag. Along with being mostly unavailable due to work commitments.

Date 173

"Do you think you've made the right decision this time?"

We'd initially agreed to meet just for drinks in London but nearer the time she asked if there were any exhibitions that I wanted to go to. I suggested the Stanley Kubrick exhibition at the Design Museum in Kensington, as it was about to finish and I'd been wanting to go for ages.

We went for a Friday afternoon so I got the tickets and met her up there. I knew straight away that she wasn't my type but she seemed nice anyway. It was a really fascinating collection of memorabilia from all his films and being a particularly big fan of The Shining: I loved it.

We were only in there for just over an hour though, as it wasn't that big so went to a pub afterwards nearby. We had a couple of drinks, which she saw as recompense for the £20 tickets, and she then toddled off to a work colleague's leaving drinks. I then headed back to Victoria Station and spent the train journey home wondering why I hadn't just gone to the exhibit on my own.

Date 172

"I never talk to my neighbour."

An odd thing happened at the beginning of our first date. She turned up a bit late and said that she could only stay for a little while as she was a stand-up comedian and she'd just received a call to say that she had a gig, which she had forgotten about. She seemed really nice and we had a couple of drinks.

I did, however, think that this was an elaborate ruse as she'd never mentioned before that she was a comedian. And when I asked her about contacting her about a second date she said that just after she'd been reminded about her gig, she dropped her phone down the toilet and it was drying off at home in a bowl of rice...

Bizarrely though, when I got home I did some detective work and she is a stand-up comedian, and a funny one at that. The story about her phone was also true as when she'd got a new one, she texted me and we made plans for a second date.

Although we both live in Brighton, I was in London for a couple of days and she met me at the Southbank as I had tickets for BUG with Adam Buxton, and we also had dinner at Ping Pong. It was a really enjoyable night, but it was evident that there was no chemistry between us.

I moved a couple of weeks ago and I now live a couple of streets away from her, so she came round for coffee to check out my new gaff. Thankfully she liked it but I don't think she'll be dropping by anytime soon to borrow some sugar. I also went for a walk with her along the seafront and she told me that she'd recently not turned up for a date as she forgot, but essentially blamed it on the poor guy as he hadn't reminded her...despite him remembering to be there.

Date 166

"Her skirt ascends for a watching eye."

London was my destination again, but as she lived in Kent it was halfway for both us and it was also a really good first date. Things had gone really fast as we'd only been chatting for about a day when she asked if we could meet and we did a couple of days later after a lot of texting.

I really fancied her straight away, although at one point I thought she'd done a runner as she went to the bar and took her coat and bag and 15 minutes later she hadn't returned. She then reappeared and said there'd been an accident behind the bar in which a load of glasses had been dropped. The bar staff initially had told her to wait but eventually suggested she use a different bar, which was when she came running out to ease my abandonment fears as she was worried that I thought she had left me. During her bar wait an odd man came up to her to ask how long she'd been waiting...hold that thought.

After having a few more drinks at one of the BFI's other bars we made our way out to get something to eat and a man came running after us shouting: "Daleks! Daleks!" We all just looked at each other for a few seconds and he said we looked like two people he'd seen watching a Dr Who film that had just been shown. And yes, he was also the odd man who'd been talking to her at the bar. He walked off in a very disappointed manner and we just had a bit of a giggle, whilst making our way to Ping Pong, which pretty much blew her away.

After a bit of a snog at Victoria Station we made our separate ways home. Although we'd got on really well I wasn't sure how much she liked me. However, over the next week we texted constantly and she even rang me up a few times for a chat. Due to childcare responsibilities she only had every other weekend and Wednesdays free so we couldn't see each other for 10 days as the following Saturday night she was seeing Bon Jovi...well, no-one's perfect.

It was great being in so much contact and she'd always tell me how my texts always made her smile and laugh and we shared a very similar dark sense of humour.

On her next free Wednesday we met in London again and I took her to a really posh French steak restaurant in Soho, which she loved. She looked beautiful too (which I told her) and said that she was going to wear a very sexy outfit but decided against it due to the unseasonal gale force winds...damn the weather!

After the meal we went to the pub next door and pretty much snogged the whole time and did so back at Victoria Station. Things seemed to be going well.

The next night I went into London again with a Brighton friend to see Adam Buxton's BUG so I told her all about my last couple of dates with the Kent lady. Just before I'd met my friend, I'd received a text from my date asking what I was up to and asking about my day.

On the way home I hadn't heard from her again in response, and it was quite late at night. She was still online, which was unusual for her as she normally went to bed early. She hadn't replied to my text though and was quite vague when I sent her another one. Though nothing was obviously wrong, I had a bad feeling. The sort you get when you've had a lot of contact with someone and you get used to their habits and nuances.

I then didn't hear from her for the next three days. This was extremely unusual and I feared the worst. I knew what was coming but I waited to see if she got in touch with me.

On our dates she'd told me some interesting stories about her marriage and previous relationships. Apparently her ex-husband had been very controlling and it sounded like it hadn't been a happy one for a while, but she was shocked when he asked for a divorce. Another recent relationship she'd been in was with a cocaine addict. Initially she'd get worried and paranoid if she hadn't heard from him for 12 hours. Then he'd go missing for days and he eventually confessed that he'd been on cocaine binges with prostitutes, however, he convinced her that he'd just take drugs with them and nothing else, which she believed. She kept giving him chances but he'd keep go missing again and finally admitted that he'd also been having sex with the hookers. This is when she broke things off.

After feeling quite sad from not hearing from her for a few days I texted to see if everything was ok. She replied instantly and said they were but she'd been too busy to text me. I then asked if everything was ok between us and she said no. She said that I made her smile and laugh and that she wanted there to be fireworks and that I wasn't her 'forever guy.' I said that's fine but we'd had two really good dates and that it was pretty uncool to just not to say anything. She apologised and said our chats and dates had been great and she should have said something. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said call it a day and I agreed and that was that. Everything was amicable but I shouldn't have had to have contacted her for the privilege of finding out that I'd been dumped. I was also very confused as to how she'd gone off me so quickly.

I was deeply disappointed but 'drowned my sorrows' by scoring some coke and partying with some escorts.

Date 165

"You won't see me anymore."

I was really looking forward to this date and I think that she was too as she'd already mentioned things we could go and see if the first date went well. Alas, it wasn't to be. I always try to keep my feet on the ground before meeting someone but when they appear excited I think I get carried away a bit, especially as we'd been texting a lot beforehand.

This date, of course, took place in London again...I think we'd agreed to meet at 8;15pm but on my way there from Brighton she texted me to say she'd missed her train and didn't rock up until 9pm. She lived 20 minutes away and my journey was over 2 hours door to door so I just had to go for a wander until she turned up.

Due to her lateness we couldn't get into the restaurant that we were intending to go to but found an ok replacement nearby. I thought we got on really well and she regaled me with stories about how she hung out with New Order as she'd worked on a documentary about them, and we planned to go and see the Stanley Kubrick exhibition at the Design Museum.

However, I had to leave at around 10;30pm to make my trek back to the south coast, although I'd loved to have stayed longer. I felt very positive about how it had gone but those vibes were short-lived as she texted me the next night to say she liked me but probably said something about there not being a spark. I was definitely disappointed and a bit surprised by this but she was very up front and I can have no complaints because we had a nice, if short, evening and she was completely honest with me. Cowards and 'Ghosters' take note.

We texted for a week or so afterwards and did make plans to go to that exhibition but we never did and I stopped hearing from her.

Date 164

"Give up education as a bad mistake."

Another date in London to continue my run and l'm at quite a loss to explain why I can't seem to meet anyone in Brighton.

This person was an incessant texter and most of her messages were surreal streams of consciousness, and at times I struggled to comprehend what she was on about. So, we spoke a lot by text before we actually met, and she's a teacher which made me a bit wary as I've got a really bad track record when it comes to dating women from that profession.

We met for drinks, and I think food as well, and it was fine and she was nice. She had a fairly strong Irish accent but a really, really deep voice which threw me initially as I wasn't expecting it at all. She also had a very strange, somewhat quirky dress sense.

I certainly had my doubts but she said she'd come to Brighton to see me as she was very appreciative that I'd met her in London, which was good of her.

In the days before the second date, I have to confess that I wasn't looking forward to it. I wasn't really nervous, but I just wasn't excited. However, it was a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon as we went for a roast, went for a long walk by the sea and had ice cream. There just wasn't any chemistry between us though and I was going to text her to tell her this afterwards but she actually got in before me and said as much on her way home. It was all very mature and amicable, which isn't so common these days.

Date 160

"And let me get your head on the conjugal bed."

Although these date took place in Brighton, this woman lived in London but was staying nearby for a month due to work commitments, so yet another person not local.

The first two dates were relatively brief in a couple of different bars and were pleasant and she appeared to be a very nice person but I was having my doubts the more I got to know her. For the third date, I booked a table at a tapas restaurant in Brighton, and again it was very pleasant, but my god, she just talked and talked about herself and her family and I genuinely couldn't get a word in.

Although she was good to hang out with, I just sadly didn't fancy her at all so I had to be honest and tell her how I felt...but not in so many words. I obviously always do this even though I usually get arsey responses. If I ghosted people I'd rightfully get an arsey text so it's a no win situation. And this was no different. She was ok when I explained it at first but then got a bit snide whilst making small talk about bed linen!

If only she knew how little action my 'passion pad' gets.

Date 154

"But oh, my darling, why did you change?" 

Of all the blog entries that I've written I think that this one neatly encapsulates modern dating. It's still fresh in my memory so I still feel a bit hurt and sad which doesn't make sense as she turned out to be a bit of a dick in retrospect.

A couple of months before, I'd deleted all my profiles on all the dating sites that I belonged to but decided to give online dating another chance, so signed up for a week's subscription with Guardian Soulmates. We seemed to get on very well after exchanging a few messages and then switching to Whatsapp at her suggestion. She was an incessant texter so things became very intense, very quickly and we were pretty much in contact virtually all day every day, which I always found a bit strange from her end as I couldn't work out how she could maintain her job but still send me messages all the time. We also got into a routine where, without fail, one of us (predominantly her at first) would text to say good morning and good night. That's a really nice thing when it's happening bit when it abruptly stops it's not such fun.

An early drawback, however, was the fact that I live in Brighton and she's in East London. That wasn't really an issue at first though. I think we met after 10 days to two weeks after we'd first been in contact and I'd agreed to go and meet her along the SouthBank after work. We were both so nervous (most unlike me) but we hadn't needed to be as we got on great. I really fancied her and it was one of my favourite first dates. So much so that I didn't get home until about 1:30 am as we kept going to different pubs and from my point of view I didn't want the night to end.

Still being very much in contact, a couple of days later she had a free Friday evening so I suggested she come and visit me in Brighton after work. She agreed at first but then offered up an excuse a bit later. As it turned out she just went home and had a few drinks on her own and she first mentioned how distance might be a problem. I was in London the next day for a friend's birthday and I intimated meeting up afterwards but we didn't.

We then set up the following Saturday as our next date. She said she'd definitely come to Brighton and fancied the cinema. So, I messaged her about times and films and said I could book us tickets then a restaurant afterwards. At this point she got a bit funny and said how she didn't want to be tied down and hated having plans but preferred to do things last minute and that she'd probably only have time for a meal and drinks as she had responsibilities in her life.

A couple of days later she asked if I'd like to come to London again as she'd got free tickets for a matinee musical in the West End called Ruthless. This was when I started to realise that she liked to do things on her terms. However, I agreed because I wanted to see her again and I don't mind going to London as it's easy to get to from Brighton anyway.

I wasn't as nervous/excited as I had been for the first date and to be honest I was a bit apprehensive. This is quite normal for second dates anyway as I think there's more riding on them than a first date and they're relatively make or break. As it turned out we had another great time. She loved the musical and I have to agree that it was entertaining (even though it wasn't really my thing). She then took me to a very exclusive cocktail bar where we had espresso martinis and then an amazing restaurant.

Towards the end of the night we got into some deep conversations about our lives and I told her some pretty personal and sad stuff about that I'd endured growing up. Upon hearing this she cried a few times and I had to comfort her. Although, it might have been the drink, I genuinely thought that we had a connection and on the train going home she was needlessly apologising for her tears but also saying how she'd had a great time and that she'd definitely be coming to Brighton for our third date. The third date never happened.

At this point I'll touch upon what different people we were and how our lives were miles apart. I've never been married and I don't have any children. Having lived in London for over 20 years: most of my friends live there. I've been in Brighton for just over 4 and I don't know that many people and my social life goes in peaks and troughs and revolves around gigs, live comedy and the cinema.

She's 3 years older than me, has 3 children (2 at university and 1 living with her some of the time), is divorced and until a year ago had been in an 8 year relationship until he cheated on her. She also lives in a mansion, drives a BMW 4x4 and has worked in the city most of her life.

Things then started to change. The previous year she'd told me she had gone totally mad on the partying front, been on a lot of dates and one night stands, but she was settling down this year due to her family. I'd suggest meeting up but she'd say she didn't have the time then would would send me selfies of her at stupid o'clock, shitfaced in various bars.

We had a very deep text conversation one evening in which she wanted to know what I was looking for in a relationship, what she was looking for and whether we were compatible. I found it quite weird and she said that she couldn't give me children as she didn't want any more and I said that wasn't a priority of mine anyway. We both came to the conclusion that we'd enjoyed the dates so far and wanted to see how things went but that we were both happy with how things were going. She kept reiterating the distance between us and and other things like being busy at work and wanting to spend more time with her family. I said that due to all these things we could call it a day but she didn't want to and that she was comfortable with our arrangement.

Even though I'd not instigated that conversation it made me feel that things were going to progress but they actually got worse. The texts decreased after that and she stopped the good morning and good night ones. I also felt that she was getting a bit mean to me and she would go on rants about how to live my life. To illustrate this, during the most recent bank holiday weekend I wasn't really up to much but the weather was lovely and I was out and about but spending time in my garden reading. It was really relaxing. She was at some very messy barbecues and I said I was jealous, although I wasn't particularly. She got a bit angry for some reason and told me I needed to expand my social life and there was nothing stopping me from having my own bbq, getting loads of people round last minute and cracking open the Jack Daniels. She'd do this with other things too and really tell me what to do, I was very close during these times of actually telling her we should call it a day as she was becoming more passive aggressive. From then on she'd regularly send me messages telling me I should be going out if I had nothing to do or when friends were busy and it got to the point where I'd dread her asking and I felt guilty for not being out one night even if I had been the previous one.

In all this time, she hadn't mentioned meeting up again either. I'd suggested it but she said she was busy packing for her holiday so wouldn't be socialising and then proceeded to go out every night the week beforehand and get pissed after work, so I thought I'd wait for her to mention it. I'd still be hearing from her every day but there'd been a mood change. She then went to Spain for a long weekend and was still texting me during it apart from one day. She'd also stopped putting kisses on her texts, which is a small but noticeable thing.

I happened to be in London for a comedy show on the day she was coming back from Spain. I think she was on the beach then waiting for her flight and her messages were very jokey and it felt like how she used to be.

The next day I texted her to see if she was tired as she'd got back relatively late and had to go in work and she'd said she was busy so I thought I'd let her get on with it. Four days later and I'd not heard anything from her so I dropped her a text on the Friday and she said she'd been busy with family stuff and then proceeded to reel off the social piss-ups she'd been to that week. I thought I'd just go out and say it and asked her when she fancied coming to Brighton and she wrote me a long text in which she said if she did it would only be on a platonic level.

She also said she'd been thinking about things and that she didn't want to give me the impression we could be anything other than friends and that she wasn't the right person for me in terms of time, distance and commitments.

I was out with a friend when I received it which was good as we spoke about it for a bit. I then slept on it and spent the next day mulling it over and working out what to say in response if anything. On Saturday evening I got a text from her demanding why I hadn't replied...

I said I was still processing things and in all honesty I didn't know what to say as I felt that what she said wasn't open for discussion. She said she was just being honest and didn't want me to think she was being dismissive; which is what she was doing, surely?

I asked her a couple of questions but she didn't answer them and then I didn't hear from her. So on the Monday I texted her to ask why things had changed since we'd had the deep discussion a couple of weeks beforehand. She reiterated that her family and job came first and that she didn't have the time to commit to me, plus she said she wasn't romantically inclined towards me and wasn't feeling it but that I should give her a heads up if I ever fancied a drink in London. Ruthless indeed...

Date 71

"And if a double-decker bus crashes into us."

My second date on GSM in 3 months, and it nearly didn't happen at all. We'd been in contact for a couple of weeks and decided to meet up, and had set the day, but when I emailed her to ask about the time and place; she never replied.

I'm super organised when it comes to meeting up with people, so if I haven't heard from them on the day then I'll chase them up (this happens a lot). However, on this occasion I didn't, simply because I thought if she's so disorganised then why should I? Plus, I'd also assumed that she'd gone off the idea of meeting up, which isn't exactly rare with online dating.

Then at about 5:30pm on the day that we were meant to be meeting I received this from her:

"If you'd changed your mind about meeting up this evening, that's fine. But you should have at least had the decency to let me know so I knew what was going on and could have made other plans."

I was obviously quite annoyed by this, seeing as though she was the one who'd ignored my email, so I replied telling her this and attaching the message I'd received no response to. She replied later that evening saying sorry and claiming that she never got the email that I'd originally sent to her, which I'm not quite sure I believe, plus she did actually go out that evening so in fact clearly made other plans. I then just left it as I really wasn't bothered about seeing her after she'd sent me such an arsey message without even bothering to check the facts. I also thought that if she's like this before we've even met then what's she going to be like in person.

A few days later she emailed me asking if we could try meeting up again and to be honest, I wasn't fussed but thought that I might as well, if only to see what she was like and because of the possibility that it could make a good blog entry. I also wanted to find out whether her obsession with Chas n Dave was genuine as well (it was).

So, we met up in central London about a week or so later and we actually had a really enjoyable evening. We just kept going from bar to bar and ended up both missing our last trains home because each time I suggested we should go to the station, she just kept telling me that she wanted to keep on drinking and that we should stay out and think about the consequences later. So we continued our quest to keep finding bars that were still open.

In the end we had to call it a night as we ran out of places that didn't require an exorbitant entry fee, and the last hour or so was actually spent trudging around Soho aimlessly with no luck, so in retrospect in the time we wasted doing that, we could have actually made our last trains. Thus, getting home was actually a complete pain in the arse as we both had to get the night bus (locating our respective bus stops was a mission in itself and took ages but at least I know where mine is now), so I didn't end up getting back to my flat until 3:30am. Bizarrely, even though she lives in Kent, she actually beat me and got home before me.

We texted each other a bit on the bus and when we got home and then for a couple of days I didn't hear anything, so I emailed her to see if she fancied going out again. To no great surprise, she replied and said that she'd had a brilliant night but that we weren't a 'romantic match' but we could still hang out if I wanted. I have to say that I was quite disappointed because I thought that as we had stayed out so late, she must have been enjoying my company and I was surely worth another go as we'd both had a good time, but at least she was honest.

We then met up a few weeks later and spent the afternoon in Richmond Park and had a really pleasant time. I also have to report that she was correct in us not being a romantic match. Clearly she is much wiser than me, although my judgement is sometimes swayed when lots of alcohol is involved on first dates, plus I think that when someone appears and acts normal then it's such a relief to me that I probably mistake having a good time for a possible future romance.

We've hooked up another time since then, and whilst she is very nice company, we've not really got that much in common which was highlighted by the fact that when I met her in London, she wanted me to go all the way back to a theatre near her in Kent (where she'd just come from), so that we could meet Will Young (currently appearing in Cabaret) at the stage door as she'd been to see the musical twice already and one of her friends, who works at the theatre, said s/he'd introduce them. I politely declined her offer...

She then contacted me some time later to see if I wanted to go with her and her aunt (yes, really) to see Ghostbusters at the cinema for a special showing where you could shout out the script in unison as it went along. I have to confess that I took this as my cue to run to the hills...

Date 38

"Bigmouth strikes again."

A really great evening and I'm still struggling to comprehend why it ended so badly.

I had a lot in common with this Blackpool lass and I was very attracted to her as well, which is always a bonus. We had very similar music tastes and she'd just moved down to London after living in Newcastle for the last few years so there was plenty to talk about.

The evening got off to an amusing start when I found us some seats in a really busy bar. We were happily enjoying our pints, when after a while a guy leaned over to her and said 'I've just seen Bob (I can't remember what his real name was) arrive. Pass it along the line as we need to sing him happy birthday.' She just looked at him with a blank expression and said: 'who's Bob?' He then got quite annoyed and informed us that we were sitting in reserved seats for a birthday party. She asked him if he wanted us to move and with a very deadpan expression he looked at her solemnly and said 'yes.' We stayed in our seats for another 5 minutes or so out of principle then we upped and left when I spied some nice armchairs for us so we could go and laugh at our minor indiscretion and sit and speculate as to which person at the bar was the legendary yet enigmatic Bob.

We then went for a meal and continued drinking late into the night. I really enjoyed the evening and she was hilarious despite me being the butt of every joke, and everything so far had gone very well until we got to the station. I then made the fatal error of having the absolute audacity of telling there that I'd had a great time and would like to see her again and would she like to do the same. Her face then turned to thunder. She looked at me with complete contempt and accused me of taking things too seriously. Being slightly taken aback I told her that I was just laying my cards on the table in saying that I 'd be really happy to do it again. She then intimated that I was a weirdo and stormed off. Which was a shame as I was just about to ask her to marry me.

I felt awful all the way home and even worse the next morning as I'd really enjoyed her company and I felt I'd completely blown everything by being honest and not playing by the rule book of Swingers by saying nothing then contacting her three days later. That would have been money. As it turned out I mailed her a week later, as it's possible I'd imagined the whole thing, and told her I'd enjoyed our date and would she like to hook up again. She never replied.