"And if you ever need self-validation, just meet me in the alley
by the railway station."
I ended up going on 5 dates with this woman, but in the end I just wasn't feeling it, although I'm not sure if my thinking was influenced by outside forces.
Meeting through Match, our first date was in a pub near Brighton Station. It was good fun, although she did seem very keen as she asked me about a second date on only our second drink. I was a bit taken aback and said yes as she wanted to go to the cinema anyway.
We went to see Guardians of the Galaxy and it was amazing and definitely my favourite film of the year so far, and in my eyes, the best one yet of the Marvel franchise. We also went for a Thai meal beforehand so all in all it was a good night.
The third date got a little messy as we met in the same pub as our first date, had a couple of pints then headed to a restaurant for steak, where we also shared a bottle of red. Afterwards, we found a fantastic pub where I made a new friend straight away. There was a guy sitting at the bar wearing a Newcastle United top so I automatically gravitated towards him and he was actually Steve the landlord and was originally from Wallsend. We chatted to him for a bit then ordered another bottle of red to share and found a seat. After we finished off that, she advised me to get ANOTHER bottle to share and when I went up to the bar, Steve called me over to introduce me to Donna from South Shields. It was like being back home, although they both found it hilarious that I didn't have an accent anymore so I was referred to as the Posh Geordie for the rest of the evening.
Our THIRD bottle of wine brought the inevitable snogging at our table...with my date, not Steve. Which then continued out onto the streets in the torrential rain and the station. Remarkably I woke up the next day hangover free...what witchcraft was this at work?
The three dates I'd had with her had been fun and I liked her but I wasn't besotted by her. Then, through the magic of Facebook it turned out that we had a mutual friendship with Date 91. Date 91 kindly sent me a message to inform me of the following:
"If you like her, all well and good, but proceed with caution...... Extreme caution!!!!!!! Too many dramas to write about."
She told me one story about her and I had noticed that she was a bit intense, but our dates had been good so far. She also told me that she was giving me friendly advice as she'd known her for 15 years or so...although as a friend of a friend rather than a close mate.
We'd made arrangements to go to a cricket match in Hove to see Sussex play Glamorgan in a floodlit match.
It was a dull game but a good time overall as I brought along a picnic, we had a few beers and also witnessed a very inebriated guy falling out of his chair, not being able to get up and being escorted out of the ground by some stewards. I can't pretend though that I didn't have some doubts in the back of my mind as I was noticing more and more how intense she was. Whilst there we arranged to meet again in a couple of Saturdays time for an evening event.
I then went on holiday to Italy for a few days and got a text message as soon as I arrived asking if I wanted to go to a Brighton football match with her on the same day before the Saturday evening event we were due to attend. I didn't want to go, so I politely declined, but I don't know why.
In the end she went to the football with a work colleague and we met in the evening as planned to see the first episode with Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor Who at the cinema (thankfully Date 83 wasn't there). It was reasonably entertaining and we went to a pub afterwards for a couple of drinks.
I did a lot of thinking over the rest of the weekend as things didn't feel right as I just wasn't looking forward to seeing her again and I wasn't getting that frisson of excitement whenever I heard from her. In the end I contacted her and was honest by saying that I'd done a lot of thinking and that I'd rather we were just friends. She replied the next day and was fine about it and said she felt the same.
I'm not sure how influenced I was by Date 91's warnings but I did feel relieved after I ended things so I think that I made the right decision. I had also noticed that she was getting more and more intense so maybe I dodged a bullet by getting out while the going was still good. She didn't do anything wrong but I think sometimes you just have to go with your instincts.
