Date 69

"This story is old, I know, but it goes on."

Never has this blog had a more apt title. Every date I've had over the last couple of years has failed to lead to a second one and I really don't know what I'm doing differently as the outcome of each date is now turning into a bit of a broken record. I'm also not counting Date 66 as although it technically was two dates, the second one was in reality just a ruse to get a gig ticket paid for.

Myself and Date 69 had been in email contact through match.com for quite a few weeks before our date took place so I knew that we'd get on as we clearly had lots in common and we had virtually the same tastes in bands, music, film and tv, so we were never going to be short of things to talk about, and that proved to be the case.

She was almost seven years older than me and although the date (which consisted of a few drinks in a bar then a meal in a restaurant) lasted about 5 or 6 hours, we both commented on how it had absolutely flown by which is normally a good sign. There's not really that much more I can say as she was a very sweet, friendly and funny woman, we got on really well and there were no moments of drama or awkward silences to contend with. It was basically a very enjoyable first date and although I'm never confident that a second date is a certainty, on this occasion I genuinely had high hopes.

I was therefore a little bit surprised when I received a text from her very early the next morning saying that she'd really enjoyed meeting me but she didn't feel that we'd clicked romantically. She also said that she'd be happy to stay in touch as possible gig buddies though.

I'm not sure what clicking romantically actually means as a phrase, which makes me think that I made a huge error of judgement by not turning up in a Bryan Ferry style white dinner jacket and whisking her off to Paris mid-date for a more intimate setting. For me, first dates are all about hooking up and seeing if you get on well and to hopefully then go on a second date when there isn't the pressure of nerves and meeting a stranger for the first time. From personal experience, I'm always a bit wary of there being instant 'fireworks' on a first date as these tend to burn very brightly for a short time then fizzle out very quickly. I refer you to Dates 28 and 55, where the first dates were almost too good to be true, yet both 'relationships' ended very badly.

Having said all that though, at least she was honest and let me know the situation. I replied and said that I thought that was a shame but that being gig buddies would be fine. I've not heard from her since and don't expect to and although I'm not that bothered now (nearly two weeks later)...rejection still sucks.

Date 68

"Boy afraid, prudence never pays."

This latest blog entry should have been about a completely different person, unfortunately, said person cancelled the date with only about 3 hours notice, and gave me probably the worst excuse I've ever heard in my life...she had to bake a cake. It looked very professional as she sent me a picture of it and it sounded delicious as it was a Victoria sponge with butter-cream and homemade blackberry jam filling. But that didn't make up for the fact that my Friday night plans had been ruined and I didn't even get a slice of cake for compensation. I thought at the time it was a genuine reason as she'd asked me out for the drink, set the date and venue, however, it's been almost three weeks since then and I've not heard a peep from her so I can only assume that she got cold feet or met someone else and decided to trot out the crappest excuse imaginable. *

I'd initiated contact with her on Match.com and because my subscription had ended, I decided to venture back into the world of free online dating and, with a heavy heart, decided to give PlentyofFish another shot. I'd only been on one date from the site a couple of years ago (Date 58) and it wasn't a great experience and it had been tricky to get any replies from anyone. My initial impressions were that not a lot had changed as if the members had bothered to fill in their profile (a lot don't and clearly are relying on getting contacted due to their pictures of them posing in risque party outfits) then they still couldn't spell or use punctuation or grammar correctly. However, although this applied to the vast majority of members there did actually seem to be a significant new minority of women who'd infiltrated the site and who appeared to be up my street in terms of sharing similar interests and good tastes in music, film etc.

PlentyofFish also boast that 1 in 3 messages are normally replied to so I thought that I'd be pro-active. I really haven't got a clue where they get that figure from though as I messaged over 30 women and only 1 person replied to me. I didn't just message randomly either as I always contact people with similar interests and I always send well written emails in which it's clear that I've read their profiles. I also never punch above my weight either.

I was therefore quite surprised when I did get a reply and even more surprised when, after a few messages, she asked me if we could chat on the phone. I don't normally like doing that but I rang her one night and we spoke for about 45 minutes, and while it was pleasant enough, I knew that we didn't have that much in common. I was then surprised again when I received a text from her the next morning saying that she'd really enjoyed talking to me and that she was very keen to meet up. As she was going to Egypt for a week I told her to contact me when she was back so that we could arrange something.

We live really close to each other so when she'd returned from her travels I suggested a pub and she suggested the night...which was a Monday. Myself and Bob Geldof don't like Mondays for different reasons, but I'm sure we'd both agree that they're a rubbish night for a date.

Due to the number of dates I've been on, I just never, ever get nervous about first dates anymore, but for some reason I was absolutely petrified about this one all over the weekend and this might have been because she'd been super keen to meet up and I wasn't that fussed, however, the opposite happened as I actually really fancied her but I don't think that she liked me at all.

We got on well enough and she told me some quite amusing stories about her Egyptian adventures such as nearly being arrested for a dispute over a restaurant bill and an over friendly male shop assistant she'd encountered when her and a friend had purchased a couple of belly-dancing outfits. She also regaled me with a tale about attending her first ladies' international rugby match at the weekend but she'd had to leave early as one of the female fans had touched her friend up in the toilets. I did feel that I wasn't quite on form though due to nerves but as she was quite touchy feely, I thought that maybe I was growing on her. Sadly that was just false optimism as she put her coat on when I was only half way through my third drink, and although I guessed this wasn't a good sign, as she might have been a bit chilly, when I asked her if she wanted another drink she said she was a bit tired even though it was only 9:30pm. We then went our separate ways and I walked home surmising whether I come over better in email form and on the phone than I do in the flesh.

Although at the end of the date she said she'd call me, I never heard back from her and I didn't attempt to contact her either as although I was extremely attracted to her, I'm not sure that there was much chemistry between us. If I'd read the signals right as well then I don't think that she was into me at all and I figured that as she was super keen to meet for the first date then I would have heard from her if she'd wanted a second one.

I'm not sure if I'll stay on the site but if I do then I'd better get cracking as I'll need to contact another 30 girls if I want another date.

* I thought I'd give the date that never happened another chance, so I texted her a couple of weeks ago to see if she still wanted to go for that drink. She replied and said that she was definitely still up for it and that when she got home that night she'd check her diary and get back to me. Two weeks later and surprise, surprise...absolutely nothing. What is wrong with people?