Date 137

"And everything she wants costs money."

This was the first of three different dates that I went on in succession where I was really annoyed by each outcome.

This one started off well with this woman, who is a nursing home carer by day and a horror writer by night (apparently a book she had published a number of years ago had been top of the best seller's list in Germany). Our first date was good as we had a lot in common, particularly in terms of films and it was actually a relief to get on with someone.

However, for the second date, things became a bit more clearer. I booked us a table at an Indian restaurant and during the night we shared a bottle of wine and had a couple of espresso martinis. When the bill came for just over £80, she kept her head firmly down and never took her eyes off her phone. I lingered on it for a while, checking it was all in order and still she said nothing. It got to the stage where it was embarrassing so I put my card down and paid for it all. She never even said thank you...

This is the first time that I'd been on an early date and the other person hadn't offered to go halves. I'm happy to pay for everything when I've been seeing someone a while but not after a couple of dates. I just don't believe in it and I was shocked that she expected me to foot the whole bill. During the night she also said that I'd displayed a couple of red flags to her which she was wary of, but she obviously wouldn't tell me what they were. She also got quite serious towards the end and went into depth about a bad past relationships she'd had and she was critical of me that I'd never been in a one for more than 6 months.

I'm not sure why, but it was probably due to the alcohol afterglow, that I agreed to a third date. I completely regret it now and I don't know why, but I booked a table at another restaurant. I chose Côte, which to me is a good solid restaurant and quite reasonable but through the whole meal she kept going on about how it was the poshest place she'd ever been to. At the end, I asked for the bill and she did exactly the same thing by avoiding eye contact and looking at her phone, whilst I inspected the damage. I just couldn't pay for another meal so I asked if she wanted to go halves. She looked absolutely shocked. After fumbling through her bag she begrudgingly coughed up £30 so I just paid the rest. I then went to the toilet and when I got back to the table she was gone. I actually thought she'd stormed off but when I got outside she was having a smoke and a sulk. She then made a big deal about having to go to the cash machine as she hadn't planned on paying for her meal.

We went on to a pub and all the way there she kept going on about the bill and that I must be a feminist. I also found out that she was quite Conservative and although I'm in no way a political animal; our values and ideologies seemed to be at opposite ends of the political spectrum. She had a real chip on her shoulder too, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what.

When I eventually got home a bit later, she went on a text rant and exclaimed that she was insulted that I asked her to contribute to the bill. Added to the fact that she had terrible dress sense and resembled Zoe Ball (not her fault, but I'm not a fan), I decided to leave it.

Date 136

"I danced my legs down to the knees."

Another contender for shortest date ever with this self-confessed Goth Raver.

She lived very close to me so I suggested that we meet in a pub in my village, about halfway between us as I presumed that we could both drink. I walked there and for some reason, even though she lived 5 minutes away on the bus, she chose to drive.

So, after rocking up in her Goth attire, complete with thick black tights on a very warm evening, she had one lemonade, talked about herself and all the raves that she would be attending for half an hour then said she had to go. I'm not sure if this was to do with my crap jokes or the x-factor auditions standard singer who'd just started her act in the pub. Regardless of this, I really thought that she could have made more of an effort as she didn't seem interested in anything that I had to say and had clearly decided that she wouldn't be staying long beforehand.

Date 135

"The lies are so easy for you."

During an occasional Tinder revisit, that normally ends in me not matching with anyone then deleting the app after 3 days, I began chatting with this Lewes dwelling individual.

She sent me a message during a drunken evening out with her sister, with her sibling telling her to ask me out for a drink, so we met in Lewes a few days later.

She looked nothing like her pictures. I only knew it was her as the pub that she'd chosen was quiet and I pretty much guessed it was her when she came through the door largely because she had dark hair. I knew she was a few years older than me and I'm not suggesting she lied about her age, but it felt like the scene in The Office when David Brent went on his first internet date, so I just hope that when I said "oh, for fuck's sake" under my breath that it wasn't audible.

I didn't want to appear rude as she was a nice person (if a little economical with the truth) so I stayed for two drinks then made my excuses and left.