Date 189

"I need to cling to something." 

I sort of got the brush-off initially from this person and I wish in retrospect that I hadn't contacted her again, but these thing happen. I'd been chatting to her on PoF (yes, I know) and she'd asked if I wanted to continue the discussion over a beer. I said yes and made a couple of suggestions of bars, as she lived near me. Then silence for a couple of days. So, I messaged her again to see if she was up for it and she said we could do the Saturday but she'd let me know by lunchtime that day, but didn't. I wish I'd left it there but gave her a few more days and contacted her on the Saturday morning. At this point she inexplicably said that she hadn't replied because she thought that all bars and restaurants were closed in Brighton...this hasn't been the case for months and complete bullshit on her part. She then said that she was going to play bingo on the Saturday evening with a friend but we could meet in a pub at 9:30pm. I informed her that all pubs shut at 10pm, which she seemed not to know and tried to convince me that there'd be some around open until 11pm. So, she'd changed her tune from thinking that none were open to there being ones open until 11pm.

I was getting the impression that I was dealing with someone who wasn't the sharpest tool in the box as I'm aware that the Covid rules are confusing but they haven't changed in Brighton significantly for a while. Her grammar was appalling too e.g. not knowing the difference between your and you're, constantly saying things like 'where was you going' instead of 'where were you going.' I'm prepared to give people some slack but these are basic things.

The next day she changed her mind and didn't want to meet for drinks but instead wanted to go for a walk along the seafront. This was fine with me as I've not been going to many pubs either or inside places. This wasn't going to be for a few days and in the intervening period I was getting a bit worried about her. She constantly questioned me about my job, not believing me when I told her what I do. She belittled me as on my profile it states that I've not been in a relationship for longer than a year, rather than finding out why. And at night-time she'd send me suggestive pictures of her, saying she was hot and bothered, then go to sleep. 

The day came to meet and she was going to be 30 minutes late, although she gave me an hour or so's notice but she had a dentist's appointment so it decreased the date time. We met along the seafront and sat on the beach talking while she again questioned me about my job and relationship history. She also told me that her last couple of dates had involved going out with two 'chauvinists', with one buying her chips and taking her on the amusements on Brighton Pier and the other involving sunbathing on the beach for hours in a skimpy bikini. I thought these were odd things to do on first dates, but each to their own. 

Despite all this, I was quite intrigued by her but I was getting the impression that she had very low self-esteem as she kept asking what I thought of her. I said at the end of the date that we should go out for a drink next time and I genuinely meant it. The following day I was out in the evening and then she was out the next evening but she kept sending me texts asking if she thought we'd just be mates and whether I fancied her. I did fancy her and told her but thought it was odd that she kept asking. Then on the Sunday she said she'd been asked out on another date but didn't know whether to go on it or not as she didn't know if I was into her; bear in mind we'd met for the first time about 3 days earlier. I don't know if she went on the date but she started getting really passive aggressive. I'd texted her the previous evening with a question that she never answered, so I waited for her to message me and she got really angry, demanding to know why I hadn't texted her. If I didn't reply to her texts within a short amount of time she'd just send me question marks hurrying me up. During this time I'd mentioned about going for drinks and reminding her that I'd said that at the end of our first date but she kept changing the subject. 

On the final day of us texting, I was getting a bit scared of her and she reminded me of a couple of women I'd been out with before who'd behaved like this. So after some jokey texts she said; "arnt (sic) we going out again?" I said yes, so let's meet for drinks then. She replied by saying that I was only saying that because she'd brought it up. I said no, that wasn't the case and she said "oh, well that's a big coincidence." So, I blocked her. 

I've never had to do that before with women I've been out on a date with but I couldn't stand the passive aggression anymore. We'd only met 4 days earlier and she was so intense when these things are meant to be fun. I wanted to meet her again, even though there were loads of red flags but it just seemed that if I then said that we shouldn't then she'd go ballistic. I definitely fancied her but I thought that if she was making me feel uncomfortable after one date then what was the point in getting into an argument? It had also got to the stage that whatever I said was the wrong thing so I felt that I was treading on eggshells. I think that she may have had issues...

Date 188

"The Hand that Rocks the Cradle." 

Given that this person lived in Kent, I didn't think that there was much chance of us meeting up and I'd not left Brighton since pre-lockdown either. We'd been chatting for a week or so and she suggested that we meet in London the following evening. 

She then cancelled the next morning as her child's nanny possibly had Covid and to be honest I was actually relieved as the thought of getting on the train to London made me nervous. It turned out that the nanny just had some 24 hour bug so we arranged to meet the following week.

This gave me a bit of time to get used to the idea of venturing out of Sussex, although I was slightly suspicious of her being vehemently against meeting at my old favourite the BFI bar.

We were due to meet at 6:30pm on a Thursday but I got a text from her on the day saying we could meet earlier as she didn't have much on work-wise. So, I got ready early and worked out my trains and told her the one I'd get and that train came and went and I didn't hear from her. So, I texted her and she just said: "oh, sorry, got distracted." This pissed me off as we then just met at the original time...

We met at Gordon's Wine Bar and I realised why she was so adamant about this being our meeting place, as she only had to get a quick train to Charing Cross, whereas I had to get the tube as well. As it turned out there was a massive queue to get in so we went elsewhere. She admitted later on that she'd been completely "self-serving" in why we went there initially as it was much more convenient for her, whereas the place I suggested would have meant that neither of us would have had to have got on the tube. Anyway, I digress and to rewind things back a bit, when I caught sight of her; I just knew that I didn't fancy her.

We made our way along the Strand and went to a Tapas restaurant (which we'd both been to before), initially for drinks but we ended up eating there too. I actually had a really pleasant evening and the food and wine was excellent. I also killed 4 birds with one stone as it was the first time since March that I'd been to London, got on a train, used the tube and been to a restaurant. 

I think she really liked me and on the way back to the station she kept asking me if I'd had a good time. I genuinely had enjoyed myself, which I said to her as we were both about to part ways, but I also told her that I didn't see anything romantic between us but I'd be happy to stay in touch if she wanted. She looked disappointed but I said to her that I was just being honest. I didn't hear from her again, which was absolutely fair enough, and that's a situation I've been in many times so I understand that although any sort of rejection hurts, honesty really is the best policy and that if there isn't a spark then what's the point? It did feel good to get out and about again though and because places have to shut at 10pm now, I was home before midnight!!! Woohoo.