Date 191

"It's a hideous trait."

I met for a really long walk and coffee with this person a few weeks before Christmas. She lives less than 10 minutes away from me and I think it was the day that Sussex went into Tier 2...I really miss those heady days of freedom and fun.

I was enchanted by her, although this was probably lust as she was extremely attractive and I was impressed with her dress sense. Although we'd had a lot in common and had quite similar interests, namely horror films and ghost stories, I wasn't sure afterwards if she was that into me as she hadn't asked me anything about myself (more of this later), however, a couple of hours after our date, she texted me asking about meeting up again so she was clearly keen.

Besides not asking me about myself, I was also a bit concerned by certain behavioural patterns that she was gradually displaying. She'd been recently banned for drink-driving but she bizarrely wouldn't take responsibility for it, claiming that a friend had been buying her doubles or trebles, which she thought were singles. Like most people, I have very strong opinions about drink-drivers and I have no idea why anyone would have one drink let alone how ever much she'd had, then get into her car and crash into another car. In order to keep her job, her dad has been acting as her unpaid chauffeur to drive her to and from work when required.

We went for dinner a couple of weeks later when you could still go somewhere to eat and drink outside. It was a nice evening even though, again, she didn't ask me anything but I think I was just overwhelmed to eat, drink and interact with someone. She also suggested meeting again after Christmas and doing something similar. However, a couple of days later she texted me to say that she wasn't feeling herself due to Christmas and COVID, so could we just be friends and go for walks as she wasn't feeling herself and didn't want to complicate matters. 

I was fine with that as I was having my doubts and these were further compounded by a rant she began to go on about a friend. She'd been in a support bubble with a friend but had had someone over to her house who wasn't this person. Her support bubble friend found out and unsurprisingly cancelled that arrangement and told her that she didn't want to be friends anymore as she felt let down and was hurt. As per before, she had no idea why her friend was 'overreacting' and didn't see what she had done wrong. She didn't want to take any responsibility and weirdly felt she was the victim here.

I've not seen her since but she did message me over Christmas and said that she'd stayed at her parents' house along with another household for a few days over the festive period. Which was obviously nothing to do with her either.

Date 166

"Her skirt ascends for a watching eye."

London was my destination again, but as she lived in Kent it was halfway for both us and it was also a really good first date. Things had gone really fast as we'd only been chatting for about a day when she asked if we could meet and we did a couple of days later after a lot of texting.

I really fancied her straight away, although at one point I thought she'd done a runner as she went to the bar and took her coat and bag and 15 minutes later she hadn't returned. She then reappeared and said there'd been an accident behind the bar in which a load of glasses had been dropped. The bar staff initially had told her to wait but eventually suggested she use a different bar, which was when she came running out to ease my abandonment fears as she was worried that I thought she had left me. During her bar wait an odd man came up to her to ask how long she'd been waiting...hold that thought.

After having a few more drinks at one of the BFI's other bars we made our way out to get something to eat and a man came running after us shouting: "Daleks! Daleks!" We all just looked at each other for a few seconds and he said we looked like two people he'd seen watching a Dr Who film that had just been shown. And yes, he was also the odd man who'd been talking to her at the bar. He walked off in a very disappointed manner and we just had a bit of a giggle, whilst making our way to Ping Pong, which pretty much blew her away.

After a bit of a snog at Victoria Station we made our separate ways home. Although we'd got on really well I wasn't sure how much she liked me. However, over the next week we texted constantly and she even rang me up a few times for a chat. Due to childcare responsibilities she only had every other weekend and Wednesdays free so we couldn't see each other for 10 days as the following Saturday night she was seeing Bon Jovi...well, no-one's perfect.

It was great being in so much contact and she'd always tell me how my texts always made her smile and laugh and we shared a very similar dark sense of humour.

On her next free Wednesday we met in London again and I took her to a really posh French steak restaurant in Soho, which she loved. She looked beautiful too (which I told her) and said that she was going to wear a very sexy outfit but decided against it due to the unseasonal gale force winds...damn the weather!

After the meal we went to the pub next door and pretty much snogged the whole time and did so back at Victoria Station. Things seemed to be going well.

The next night I went into London again with a Brighton friend to see Adam Buxton's BUG so I told her all about my last couple of dates with the Kent lady. Just before I'd met my friend, I'd received a text from my date asking what I was up to and asking about my day.

On the way home I hadn't heard from her again in response, and it was quite late at night. She was still online, which was unusual for her as she normally went to bed early. She hadn't replied to my text though and was quite vague when I sent her another one. Though nothing was obviously wrong, I had a bad feeling. The sort you get when you've had a lot of contact with someone and you get used to their habits and nuances.

I then didn't hear from her for the next three days. This was extremely unusual and I feared the worst. I knew what was coming but I waited to see if she got in touch with me.

On our dates she'd told me some interesting stories about her marriage and previous relationships. Apparently her ex-husband had been very controlling and it sounded like it hadn't been a happy one for a while, but she was shocked when he asked for a divorce. Another recent relationship she'd been in was with a cocaine addict. Initially she'd get worried and paranoid if she hadn't heard from him for 12 hours. Then he'd go missing for days and he eventually confessed that he'd been on cocaine binges with prostitutes, however, he convinced her that he'd just take drugs with them and nothing else, which she believed. She kept giving him chances but he'd keep go missing again and finally admitted that he'd also been having sex with the hookers. This is when she broke things off.

After feeling quite sad from not hearing from her for a few days I texted to see if everything was ok. She replied instantly and said they were but she'd been too busy to text me. I then asked if everything was ok between us and she said no. She said that I made her smile and laugh and that she wanted there to be fireworks and that I wasn't her 'forever guy.' I said that's fine but we'd had two really good dates and that it was pretty uncool to just not to say anything. She apologised and said our chats and dates had been great and she should have said something. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said call it a day and I agreed and that was that. Everything was amicable but I shouldn't have had to have contacted her for the privilege of finding out that I'd been dumped. I was also very confused as to how she'd gone off me so quickly.

I was deeply disappointed but 'drowned my sorrows' by scoring some coke and partying with some escorts.

Date 18

"I just might walk home alone."

My first date of 2008 and what a rude bitch. During our first drink she happened to spy a friend of hers sitting at the opposite side of the pub and waved to her. After a few minutes they then start texting each other, which is a tad disrespectful to say the least. After moving onto our second drink she then suggests we go and join said friend but I didn't want to, which surely is fair enough on my part as this was a date. I then asked her if she wanted another drink and she told me that her friend was going home so she was going to share her cab with her round the corner. Outside, she said it was lovely to meet me and I just said 'yeah' and trudged back to the station. The conversation wasn't really going anywhere and I don't know if she knew her friend was going to be there, but surely some basic manners wouldn't have gone amiss as I'd made the effort to meet her in a pub much closer to where she lived than I did.

Date 13

"The air hangs heavy like a dulling wine."

I thought that a first date with a bi-sexual writer/director of porn films would be nothing if not interesting, sadly, it turned out to be very dull and very short. We met quite late in the evening so I'd already had my tea but she hadn't so she wanted to go to a restaurant. While I watched her eat a starter and main course, I only had a starter and because I was wanting to make a good impression I went halves on the bill (I'll never do that again). I asked her about her job, hoping she'd tell me some amusing anecdotes but she said "I don't want to talk about it as it's just a job, would you want to talk about yours?" I said: "Yes, I'm quite happy to." But I never got any interesting titbits out of her. We then went onto a bar and I bought the first round. After our first drink she asked whether I was staying for another one and I replied in the affirmative assuming she wanted to buy one for me, but what she actually meant was, was I staying at the bar on my own as she was going home. I wasn't into her at all and I assumed that she wasn't into me but bizarrely she kept contacting me in the aftermath, but I only ever replied to her in a polite manner as I hadn't enjoyed the evening at all.