Date 194

"Hello, I am the ghost of Troubled Joe."

Having used the same apps for ages with the same results, I thought I'd try Hinge properly. It's not quite a swipe app as the premise is that you comment on people's profile photos or like them, then if you're lucky that person will invite you to chat with them.

I tried the app for a few weeks and in that time not one person acknowledged my 'witty' comments or 'liked' me back. And with the two women who I went on dates with (2nd one in the next post), they just 'liked' one of my photos. In trying to be different by encouraging people to leave comments, I like the fact that it's using a different model but, having spoken to a male friend who left numerous comments without any response too, it's just being used as a swipe app....

Having not been on a pub date since last year, I was genuinely really nervous about this but that's probably more down to the fact that it was also the first time I'd been inside a pub this year too. I thought that the place I'd booked a table for would be really busy at 4:30pm but we were the only ones in there for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon until some people arrived around early evening. As the kitchen was closed also (presumably due to them not expecting many people in) we were given the first round of drinks free. Thanks, Brewdog!

To the date itself: I really liked her and I thought that we got on. She was 7 years younger than me but despite this we still had the same reference points and very similar things in common. We stayed for about 5 hours until we were kicked out at 9:30pm as presumably that was their designated closing time and not because we'd been behaving badly.

We then went for a burger and afterwards I walked her to the station and she gave me a hug and we spoke about seeing each other again. 

Unfortunately I never saw or heard from her as she ghosted me. I contacted her about a second date and she ignored me. Having spent a good 7 hours with her I thought she'd enjoyed my company and I had a good feeling about her but maybe she woke up the next day and thought I wasn't for her. Which is fine as I've been in that situation before but to not say anything to someone when they contact you is unforgivable. It's certainly not the first time I've been ghosted after a date and it won't be the last but I'll never understand how someone can lack such basic manners and not just say no thank you.

On the plus side though, she'd been for afternoon tea with some friends before she met me and brought me along some cakes so I had them for my breakfast the next day and they were ultimately the best thing I could take from my first date on Hinge.

Date 180

"Your youth may be gone but you're still a good man."

Before we met, and at her suggestion, we had a Facetime chat. I normally don't like doing that but it was great. We spoke for about 2 hours and it felt like we'd had our first date. I decree that it should be the way forward.

After our chat, she was very keen to meet and although she lived about an hour away from me near the Surrey/Sussex border, she was happy to drive over to me on a Sunday. I was surprised that she was so enthusiastic with her being 10 years younger than me and an absolute stunner, but we'd got on really well on Facetime, so what could go wrong?

Well...nothing really, but sadly she just wasn't into me when we met in the flesh. It was a beautiful sunny winter's day and we walked into Brighton along the seafront, seemingly continuing where we'd left off from our previous chat.

I bought her coffee and cake and we had a mooch around the shops, even managing to bump into some friends of mine along the way. I felt very comfortable with her and it was a really lovely afternoon. 

We made our way back to mine after an hour or so and she popped into my flat briefly for a nose around. I also gave her a small Christmas present (chocolate coffee thing from Waitrose), which she seemed really happy with and said she'd open it on the 25th. 

I got a text from her the next day thanking me for the afternoon but saying that she hadn't felt that old elusive, possibly mythical, spark. And that was the last I heard from her. I wasn't surprised as I'd sensed a possible disappointment emanating from her during the date. I thought she might have got in touch with me on Christmas Day regarding her present as I knew she loved coffee and chocolate but perhaps she just doesn't like Waitrose. 

Date 127

"I missed my bed and I soon came home."

I'd been communicating with this Aussie lady via Guardian Soulmates for a little while. She lived in London and I happened to be staying over for a couple of nights as I was seeing the Pixies at Brixton Academy, so we met up the night before.

The BFI bar became yet another scene for one of my first dates and it felt good to be back; although it had probably only been a few months since I'd last been there...We had a few drinks and I assume we went for something to eat, although I can't remember where we ended up going.

The night was going well and as the bars were closing I suggested she came back to my hotel as it had a late licence. I was definitely having fun, but my god could she knock her drinks back! I've never seen anything like it it. Even though I was enjoying her company, it got to 2am and I actually was wondering when she'd leave as I could barely keep awake. This is no criticism of her but I actually just wanted to go up to my room and jump into my bed as I was absolutely exhausted. Luckily the bar staff closed up and, as she had work the next day, she rang for a cab. 

As I escorted her out to the front of the hotel, we shared a snog, but in actual fact I don't think it could be described as such as it was the worst kiss I've honestly ever had in my life. I can't even explain what it was like, but I remember afterwards trying to work out what had actually happened. Despite cleaning the bar out she began to serenade me in the street through the medium of dance until her cab arrived.

I liked her and I think I was attracted to her but I've never been so pleased to get to bed. I didn't stir until midday but she'd actually gone into work on time after only about four hours sleep. Is this the behaviour of a functioning alcoholic or just normal for someone born and bred in Australia?

It was quite close to Christmas and she was going back home for a few weeks so we talked about her visiting me in Brighton when she got back. This never happened however. We texted for a month or so, mostly while she was down under, but I didn't have an overwhelming urge to see her again. I'm not sure why as she's a genuinely lovely person, but maybe she felt the same as the communication just fizzled out between us. I did contact her again a couple of months later and she was seeing someone else so that did make me wonder if she'd been working on her kissing technique. 

Date 78

"So, phone me, phone me, phone me."

I've never been a fan of Plenty of Fish (has anyone had any good experiences from it?) but I thought that I'd give it another try, despite having been on it before and deleting my profile on both occasions and vowing never to go back.

At first, we exchanged a few brief messages that weren't really going anywhere, then one night she emailed in the early hours of the morning saying she was drunk and did I want to meet her the following evening. I didn't read it until the morning so replied and said yes. I waited for her response as to what she wanted to do all day then finally got a message at about 5 or 6pm saying she was now going out with a friend so could she cancel? I wasn't happy as I don't know why she'd bothered to ask in the first place and I'd kept open my evening. I can't remember how I responded but it was brief and I wasn't bothered about actually meeting her.

I assumed I'd never hear from her again, but a month or so later I got a message from her with her mobile number late one Saturday night, asking me to call her. I did and we must have spoken for about 4 hours or so. We did the same the next few nights and spoke at length about everything and anything. During one of the conversations things did get a bit saucy but ultimately we both got a bit shy and nothing happened!

We met up for drinks a couple of days later and had a great night and seemed to be really comfortable with each other as we had been on the phone. She was very attractive and while we were at a restaurant towards the end of the night, she laid her cards on the table and said she really wanted to see me again; to which I agreed.

On our way back to the station we were holding hands and had a bit of a kiss on the platform and she re-iterated how she wanted to see me again, and on the way home she texted me to say thanks for a wonderful evening.

As she'd kept emphasising how much she wanted to go on a second date, I though this meant that a second date was a distinct possibility...see, I can read signals. We exchanged a few texts the next day then they just stopped. She'd been made redundant the day before our date so I thought not hearing from her was because she was busy job hunting. She took a week to reply to my last text then after me responding they stopped again. I left it another week and asked how she was getting on with her job search and she replied saying she'd found a new one, so I then asked about a second date and she never replied, so, I just left it. I'm not really sure what happened as I was keen to see her again too, but she did strike me as being a bit flaky. I did think a lot about contacting her again but in the end I didn't because what would be the point.

Date 23

"They said there's too much caffeine in your bloodstream."

A super fast date here, so not much to tell apart from the fact that her exit strategy was genius. She kept checking her phone as, according to her, her friend was close to going into labour. As it happens when we'd finished our second drink she got a call to say her friend was about to give birth so she made her excuses and left, and I obviously never heard from her again. One lesson I will take from this date, however, is never to drink two lattes in a row. As we weren't drinking alcohol I got confused when she offered to buy me a drink after I'd bought her one and so I said 'same, again, please.' Big mistake, as a few hours later I was climbing the walls thinking I was going to go into cardiac arrest, such were my dangerously high caffeine levels. I was actually genuinely concerned until it wore off several hours later. I'm so Rock 'n' Roll.