Date 196

"Because you're evil and you lie."

Before I talk about this date, I need to mention that a totally different woman should have been written about here, but unfortunately she did one of the most pathetic things possible and didn't turn up. We had meant to meet a couple of weeks before but I'd messaged her on the day to check that we were still on but she said that a family member of hers had been pinged by the Covid app. Although this was perfectly believable, I only found out as I'd sent her a text so I wonder if she was going to let me know.

About a week later she got in contact and asked if we could rearrange. I sat on it for a couple of days because I wondered if she was completely reliable and in the end thought what's the harm as she was local to me. We arranged a time and location at a pub in Hove.

I turned up, bought a pint and after 15 minutes realised that she wasn't coming. I then sent her a message on Whatsapp and she'd blocked me. I don't know how anyone can behave like that. It's the lowest of the low and, even though it says everything about her, I felt a bit humiliated. I reported her to Tinder as she's still on there and they've done nothing and she's got a profile on Bumble too. I can't comprehend in any way that someone can think not turning up for a date is acceptable. Answers on a postcard, please.

Now to the date that took place. I decided to take out a full subscription on Hinge and give it another go. I matched with quite a few women initially but in the end this was the only person I went on a date with. And she was great.

She was funny, good looking, intelligent and I genuinely thought that my luck had changed and I felt really comfortable talking to her. She lived in London so I said that I was happy to meet her at the South Bank. It was the first time I'd been there probably since 2019 and only the second time I'd ventured into London this year.

We met in my old favourite, the BFI bar, had a couple of beers then moved onto cocktails. And we eventually ended up in Wagamamas for some food. We spent a good 6 hours together then she got the tube back with me to Victoria. I thought this was a good sign as if I wasn't into someone then I'd have gone home a different way and she'd actually come to the South Bank via Waterloo. I also wouldn't have stayed out that long.

I went home feeling confident that there'd be a second date and she asked me to message her when I got back home; which I did.

However, I woke up the next morning and she'd sent me a message saying that it had been nice to meet me but she hadn't felt any chemistry. I felt so disappointed by this and a bit sad as I thought we'd got on well but I'm always appreciative when people are honest so I responded thanking her for the evening too. Looking at the bigger picture though, I was just impressed that she actually turned up...

Date 147

"When usually it's nothing."

My last date of 2017 and it was quite a brief one and certainly not as dramatic as the one a few days earlier. Which was definitely a good thing.

I think we matched on Tinder and she was very keen to meet up after not really being in contact that much. Despite not knowing much about each other, I was surprised by how much we had in common, and we certainly had a lot to talk about. However, after 2 or 3 drinks she said she had a party to go to so I was home before 8pm.

I genuinely got the impression that she did have other plans, although she hadn't told me beforehand and she didn't want another date so it was a good, solid exit strategy regardless. Maybe first dates should only last a few drinks just to see what someone is like instead of the drunken affairs they sometimes turn into.

Date 81

"So drink, drink, drink and be ill tonight."

I exchanged a few messages with this woman on Guardian Soulmates, and as my subscription was running out; I gave her my email address. When my stint on GSM ended, I never heard from her so I presumed she wasn't bothered about staying in contact and I just forgot about her.

Then, completely out of the blue, about 3 months later, I received an email from her apologising for not being in touch and asking me if I wanted to go out on a date.

As I tend to do on dates, I got to the bar a bit early and grabbed a much coveted diner style booth and waited quite a while for her to arrive as she was running very late. When she did rock up, although I knew it was her (as I'd told her where I was sitting), she looked so much older and different to her profile pictures. After a couple of drinks, we seemed to be getting on fine, then I made my only mistake of the night. The bar I'd picked is always quite busy and seats are at a premium, hence why I always stake out the booth seats beforehand and then pounce when they become free. After about an hour, two women came over and asked if they could share the booth. I thought this was really cheeky and instead of saying no, I let them 'join' us. I hate being so well mannered and accommodating sometimes but I couldn't refuse their request. As it turned out they were right noisy bastards and we gleaned from their no holds-barred and loud conversation that they were a lesbian couple on a first date too.

After a while we decided to move on and went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner where we sank numerous mojitos too. By the time we'd finished I wanted to go elsewhere but she was actually really drunk (she had been quite pissed after a couple of drinks at the bar, which meant that for the rest of the evening I wasn't sure what she was talking about half the time), so she called it a night and as we said our goodbyes at Waterloo, she told me to call her.

I emailed her a few days later, as I had tickets for a comedy event for someone I knew that she really liked, and asked her if she wanted to come too but she said she was ill and I never heard from her again.

Date 40

"I say no, I'm gonna kill my dog."

I had a very pleasant afternoon and evening's drinks with this University lecturer who lived locally. She had wanted to bring her dog along which I thought was a bit weird for a first date. I'm not a huge dog lover and I do like some but I was quite relieved when in the end she wasn't accompanied by him. Although, there weren't any flying sparks in the air between us, I enjoyed her company so I thought I'd e-mail her to see if she wanted to do it again as I thought that at least she would be a good local drinking buddy if nothing else and I was very impressed that she matched me pint for pint. I ended up mailing her and a few days later I'd still not heard back from her, and then, bizarrely, I randomly bumped into her. I was out for a jog and she was walking her dog down by the river near where we both lived. It was a bit awkward but we exchanged pleasantries and I told her I'd mailed her and she said she hadn't checked her inbox for a few days. We then parted ways. She replied to me a couple of days later and said that she'd be happy to be friends but she wasn't ready to be dating. This last statement has been trotted out to me by quite a few women in the past and it constantly confuses me as to it's validity when I still see their active profiles on Guardian Soulmates. If they're not ready to be dating then why stay on the site? She also said I should have gone with her and her dog for coffee when I'd bumped into them. I found this a bit strange also as she hadn't replied to my e-mail and so I thought she wasn't interested, plus I was in my sweaty jogging kit, without any money, so the last thing I would have suggested would have been to go for coffee. I replied to her e-mail as she'd asked if I was free on a certain date to go for drinks and I'd said 'yes.' The day came when we were meant to meet again and I'd heard nothing so texted her to ask if it was still on. She replied by saying she had a cold and had forgotten to text me to tell me she was cancelling. Well, thanks for that. I decided not to contact her anymore. Then, out of the blue, she mailed me a couple of months later to apologise for not being in touch and asked me when I was free again. I replied telling her when and then I never heard from her again. Yawn.