Date 186

"It's so lonely on a limb."

This was my second date since the lockdown restrictions had been relaxed and we met after a short exchange of messages on Bumble. I think pubs had just opened again but we chose to meet at an outside bar area along the seafront in which some beach huts had been turned into serving areas. However, we took our own drinks and sat on some outside tables until she'd run out of beer and, with initial trepidation, bought a can from one of the serving huts.

It was a really nice evening and it was the first time I'd been out at night since March, so it felt completely alien walking home when it was dark. We laughed a lot and it was also good to have some company after months of solitude.

She messaged me a few days later and said that she'd had a good time with me but that she felt there wasn't a spark, however, she asked whether I was free the following week to go out for drinks as friends. And since then I've actually met up with her virtually every week. Weird, huh?

We've been to a few beer gardens and even attended an outdoor comedy event at Brighton Open Air Theatre, which, despite getting drenched, was the most wonderful experience after months of not being able to go anywhere.

We're actually sat together in this picture, but I'm obviously not going to say which ones are us. As an aside to this, she was running very late so only turned up just before it had started. She'd been so stressed that when we got to her car she couldn't find her keys anywhere and even tipped the contents of her handbag onto the ground. After searching everywhere, we were just about to retrace her steps when she tried her door and it opened...and her keys were still in the ignition!

So, although I didn't find romance, I have made a good friend and meeting her has definitely made my lockdown less lonely. She has acquired a boyfriend now though, so I imagine I'll be seeing less of her; if only I could find someone now...

Date 182

"Pass the pub that wrecks your body."

I had an early warning that this person was going to be flakey after she cancelled our first date 12 hours after we'd arranged it. We hadn't been chatting very long at all on Tinder (about 20 minutes) when she asked if I wanted to meet up the next day. I had a suspicion that she was a bit tipsy but said yes, not really expecting it to happen, and I was proved right.

She lives in Croydon and had initially suggested I meet her there but I said it was just as easy that we meet somewhere more fun in London. The next day I contacted her to confirm whether we were still meeting and she bottled it by asking if we could postpone as she said that the festive period had caught up on her and she wasn't feeling very good; so I was probably right that she'd been a bit drunk the night before.

We'd pencilled in to meet at the SouthBank the following weekend and I was surprised when I texted her the day before to check if the date was still on and she said it was. So I made my way into the capital again and when she rocked up she didn't look like her pictures. I sort of knew it was her as a blonde woman was heading towards me smiling, but I'm not sure I would have known otherwise. There was definitely a resemblance but I suspect that her profile pics were a few years out of date.

We had drinks and a meal and, although I'd enjoyed her company, I was ready to go home but she insisted on going to another pub. I think she just wanted to continue drinking but it was getting close to 11pm and I was more interested in not missing my train back to Brighton.

We said our goodbyes at Waterloo and I suggested that she could come to Brighton if she wanted another date. She seemed very keen and we discussed it again briefly by text but then the messages stopped very abruptly and I never heard from her again...This was probably for the best though and I can only assume that January caught up on her.

Date 105

"Pass the pub that saps your body."

I met this Welsh lady through Match and it was an unusually incident free date.

We initially met for coffee on a Sunday in late summer and ended up going for a pub roast. It was the worst roast I've ever had and it was just like one of those ready-meals that you stick in the oven and pierce the lid...but like one when they first came out in the 1980's! The vegetables were under-cooked, the portions of everything were stingy e.g two roast potatoes, a sliver of meat etc. I was then amazed when she declared it to be one of the best she'd had.

We went to another pub and I introduced her to the joy of drinking Tuaca and she opened up a tiny bit more as she'd been fairly quiet. We only had a couple of drinks before she had to go but I thought that there was a good chance we'd meet up again as despite her taste buds not working, she'd been good company.

I emailed her to inquire about a second date and she replied thusly:

"As you know I'm pretty new to this site and have a couple more dates coming up soon. I just think I should go on more dates for a while and keep my options open for now."

I wonder how I compared to her other dates.

Date 95

"We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry 

and talk about precious things."

Date 95 took 6 months to reply to me from when I first sent her a message. Yes, you read that correctly - 6 frickin' months. I didn't even have a subscription on Match anymore and so when you're not a paid up member, Match don't even reveal who has contacted you. So I had to do a bit of detective work before deciding that I should take out a one week membership in order to reply.

Our first date was a lot of fun as we met for drinks and then went for a meal. She was very smart, although her clothes were very 1980's, but that didn't detract from the fact that she was very attractive.

We seemed to get on well and I was very pleased when she agreed to a second date. However, it turned out to be a bit shit.

For date number 2, she suggested that we could meet along the seafront and go for a walk as it was a really warm Saturday afternoon. So, we strolled up to Zoe Ball & Fatboy Slim's tiny palace and back again, which took a couple of hours. Along the way she refused the offer of a coffee or ice cream and I'd stupidly presumed that we were then going to head into Brighton to a pub or restaurant, as it was still only the afternoon.. When I suggested this she claimed to be meeting her sister for dinner later on so I ended up being home by 6pm. I hadn't mentioned doing something afterwards when we'd been in contact beforehand as I'd just automatically assumed we would be. How ridiculously presumptuous of me.

I have to confess though that during this second date, we did struggle a bit in terms of things to talk about and she didn't actually have much to say for herself. I also felt like I was doing all the talking and asking all the questions, and I did get the impression that she wasn't interested in finding out anything about me or my interests.

I don't think she really was meeting her sister but I decided to take the hint and so I just left it. Isn't it amazing how an absence of alcohol can change one's perceptions of others? It's a shame though as I did fancy her.

Date 64

"I swear to God, I swear I never even knew what drugs were."

You know that weird time period between Christmas and New Year when you just feel in complete limbo, and time just seems to stop; especially when you're not at work? Well, that's what I blame for selling my soul to the devil again and going back onto match.com. Despite vowing never to go back to the dark side after my experience with Date 55 in particular, and not getting any replies from 6 women after my free 3 day trial (which I previously mentioned during Date 63's entry); I was offered 2 months for the price of 1 and boredom, curiosity and an unexplainable feeling of impending doom with 2012 fast approaching led me to sign up again.

So, to my first date of 2012. The world hadn't ended and I was actually surprised that this person responded to my message as she was an absolute stunner. Obviously, I'm not shallow enough to just make contact with women due to their looks as their profile and interests have to engage me too, but despite what anyone says, it's only human nature to be drawn to the pictures first, and that is exactly how dating sites are designed to draw you in as the picture of the person is the focal point of the profile. Conversely, there are lots that I'll click on due to their pleasing aesthetic qualities that simply bore me to tears.

The lady in question was Australian, 4 years older than me and as it happened she was back home down under for Christmas and New Year when our messaging took place, ah, the marvels of the internet. We seemed to have a few things in common, mainly to do with music and she came across as quite witty, which is always a good start, and after several emails she asked if I'd like to meet up once she was back in the UK, to which I replied in the affirmative.

Every time I've met someone for a date, it has always been for a drink or a coffee, but on this occasion she was quite adamant that it had to be dinner, and even when I suggested we could have a swift half at a bar nearby beforehand she was having none of it. She must have been absolutely ravenous.

So, we met in a restaurant along the SouthBank. Although it was quiet, I wasn't quite sure it was her at first so didn't go over to her initially as I wasn't convinced it was her. Although I found her attractive, her profile pictures looked to be from about 5 years ago, so she could have been extremely photogenic, a whizz on Photoshop or perhaps she'd just experienced a particularly hard day at work. I found this quite interesting though, as during the date she told me that one of her pet hates was people putting out of date pictures on their dating profiles...

After exchanging a few pleasantries and ordering a bottle of red wine and food, my opening line was to ask her why she'd decided to come and live in London. Quick as a flash she replied that it was because drugs were cheaper over here. I actually thought she was joking but as it turned out, every anecdote or reference was about drugs for most of the night. I'm certainly not averse to drug use as I dabbled in my youth and I'm certainly someone who believes in each to their own, but when a 39 year old admits to you that they have to smoke a spliff a day then I find that a little unusual considering I grew out of that sort of thing in my 20's.

We got on well though as she was really funny and full of good stories, but the date only lasted as long as the meal as she said she had to be up early the next morning for her job in finance. We went our separate ways at Waterloo station and I never heard from her again. By the same token though, I didn't contact her either purely because I've become a bit sick of either being ignored when I enquire about second dates or receiving arsey replies, so I decided to go with a new strategy and wait for her to contact me. She obviously didn't and although I would have been quite happy to see her again, I wasn't particularly disappointed as I didn't think she was that into me anyway. Although, having said that, I've given up trying to read signals on dates so I could have been wrong and she could have been waiting by her laptop or phone for weeks, weeping and wondering why I hadn't been in touch.