Date 120

"Has the Perrier gone straight to your head?"

Another quick Tinder date which only lasted a couple of drinks despite us having a lot in common with music etc. As she commuted into London each day she left after about an hour as she had to get up early the next day. I took this to mean that she probably wasn't interested in another date but I contacted her the next day anyway and, not to any great surprise, she wasn't in favour of meeting up again.

It was a very uneventful date and the only two things I can remember about her were that she used to be in a band in which she played bass-guitar sitting down cross-legged on stage dressed in a Victorian outfit, and that she'd claimed to have invented a new drink. Her drink of choice was a lager spritzer in which she had half a lager put into a pint glass with soda water then added to the brim. This confused many a bar-person as to what to charge her but also enabled her to drink pint after pint without getting absolutely hammered.

Date 52

"I won't share you."

I went on three dates with this woman, who was a few years older than me and going through an amicable divorce, over the course of about three months as she had to keep going to Bangladesh on business for long periods of time.

The first two meetings were very enjoyable and although we didn't really have much in common, we got on extremely well and she was very good company. On the third date in Angel we had a lovely evening involving drinks and a meal and I ended up going back to her place in Walthamstow and sleeping with her.

The next day I texted her on my way home to thank her for the evening and then got an e-mail from her a couple of days later saying she liked my company but could we be just friends. I replied and said this was fine and never saw or heard from her again, which was disappointing to say the least as I did quite fancy her.

In retrospect, I can't help thinking that the reason she ceased all contact with me was because I put my uncanny cat whispering talents into practice. After consistently telling me how unfriendly her two feline companions were and how they never went near her, I instantly had both of them asleep on my knee and purring in unbridled contentment, so this clearly made her jealous as she'd never seen them behave like this before and I simply had to be jettisoned by her. Or maybe not...