Date 94

"And if you ever need self-validation, just meet me in the alley

 by the railway station."

I ended up going on 5 dates with this woman, but in the end I just wasn't feeling it, although I'm not sure if my thinking was influenced by outside forces.

Meeting through Match, our first date was in a pub near Brighton Station. It was good fun, although she did seem very keen as she asked me about a second date on only our second drink. I was a bit taken aback and said yes as she wanted to go to the cinema anyway.

We went to see Guardians of the Galaxy and it was amazing and definitely my favourite film of the year so far, and in my eyes, the best one yet of the Marvel franchise. We also went for a Thai meal beforehand so all in all it was a good night.

The third date got a little messy as we met in the same pub as our first date, had a couple of pints then headed to a restaurant for steak, where we also shared a bottle of red. Afterwards, we found a fantastic pub where I made a new friend straight away. There was a guy sitting at the bar wearing a Newcastle United top so I automatically gravitated towards him and he was actually Steve the landlord and was originally from Wallsend. We chatted to him for a bit then ordered another bottle of red to share and found a seat. After we finished off that, she advised me to get ANOTHER bottle to share and when I went up to the bar, Steve called me over to introduce me to Donna from South Shields. It was like being back home, although they both found it hilarious that I didn't have an accent anymore so I was referred to as the Posh Geordie for the rest of the evening.

Our THIRD bottle of wine brought the inevitable snogging at our table...with my date, not Steve. Which then continued out onto the streets in the torrential rain and the station. Remarkably I woke up the next day hangover free...what witchcraft was this at work?

The three dates I'd had with her had been fun and I liked her but I wasn't besotted by her. Then, through the magic of Facebook it turned out that we had a mutual friendship with Date 91. Date 91 kindly sent me a message to inform me of the following:

"If you like her, all well and good, but proceed with caution...... Extreme caution!!!!!!! Too many dramas to write about."

She told me one story about her and I had noticed that she was a bit intense, but our dates had been good so far. She also told me that she was giving me friendly advice as she'd known her for 15 years or so...although as a friend of a friend rather than a close mate.

We'd made arrangements to go to a cricket match in Hove to see Sussex play Glamorgan in a floodlit match.

It was a dull game but a good time overall as I brought along a picnic, we had a few beers and also witnessed a very inebriated guy falling out of his chair, not being able to get up and being escorted out of the ground by some stewards. I can't pretend though that I didn't have some doubts in the back of my mind as I was noticing more and more how intense she was. Whilst there we arranged to meet again in a couple of Saturdays time for an evening event.

I then went on holiday to Italy for a few days and got a text message as soon as I arrived asking if I wanted to go to a Brighton football match with her on the same day before the Saturday evening event we were due to attend. I didn't want to go, so I politely declined, but I don't know why.

In the end she went to the football with a work colleague and we met in the evening as planned to see the first episode with Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor Who at the cinema (thankfully Date 83 wasn't there). It was reasonably entertaining and we went to a pub afterwards for a couple of drinks.

I did a lot of thinking over the rest of the weekend as things didn't feel right as I just wasn't looking forward to seeing her again and I wasn't getting that frisson of excitement whenever I heard from her. In the end I contacted her and was honest by saying that I'd done a lot of thinking and that I'd rather we were just friends. She replied the next day and was fine about it and said she felt the same.

I'm not sure how influenced I was by Date 91's warnings but I did feel relieved after I ended things so I think that I made the right decision. I had also noticed that she was getting more and more intense so maybe I dodged a bullet by getting out while the going was still good. She didn't do anything wrong but I think sometimes you just have to go with your instincts.

Date 93

"Did I really walk all this way."

I was still on a mission to avoid using pay-sites and so my next date came courtesy of OKCupid; I was certainly getting my money's worth.

We met along Brighton sea front and went for a wander, as it was a glorious mid-Summer evening, before we found a nice pub near Hove. We had a few drinks and she was quite good company but there just wasn't any spark or mutual attraction.

She was a few years older than me and a bit of a posh party girl and former chalet girl, so it was clear that we didn't mix in the same circles as I'm a rough Geordie lad. I liked her but we just didn't have anything in common.

When we left the pub she said bye then buggered off to catch her bus and I didn't have a clue where I was so I ended up roaming the streets for quite a while until I used the moonlight and direction of the sea to eventually locate my bus stop about 30 minutes walk away.

Date 92

"Oh, the alcoholic afternoons."

I appeared to be on quite a roll here, as this was the third person I'd met in a row off Plenty of Fish. It's a rarity to even get a reply, let alone a date so I wonder what I was doing right.

We met in my favourite Brighton pub, at the time it was the only one I could ever remember the name of, on another Sunday afternoon. She turned up late and, I have to say in a completely disheveled state. She'd been up late drinking until the early hours of the morning so had only recently got out of bed to come and meet me. And to demonstrate how hungover she was; she proceeded to down two double Bloody Marys in fairly quick succession.

Besides her not being as fresh as a daisy, she also had a very abrasive sense of humour. And for some reason she was very keen to know exactly what my working history was including start and finish dates of every job I'd done. What the hell was that all about?! I also told her that I occasionally did freelance writing and she went off on a rant about how writers are completely narcissistic and big-headed etc. because they have the arrogance to suppose that everyone wants to read what they'd written. I have to admit that when she was in full rant mode I actually nearly got up and left,

It's safe to say that she didn't make a very good impression on me at all, but as we were leaving she asked if we could be friends. Unsurprisingly, I haven't tried to keep that 'friendship' going.

Date 91

"You're just the same as I am."

Another Plenty of Fish date and another normal person shocker!

I had a very enjoyable evening with this Irish lady and we even ventured into a few pubs that I didn't know existed....which isn't very difficult considering my knowledge of Brighton drinking establishments is disgraceful.

We had exactly the same taste in bands and films, which is always a bonus and at the end of the night she said that I was a male version of her. My only quibble is that she's a Manchester United season ticket holder, but being objective I have to admire her loyalty as she drives to every home match despite the distance!

We did get on very well but I don't think that we fancied each other and so haven't met up again. However, we are still in contact and I can see us being gig buddies at the very least. This also means that I now have one friend in Brighton besides next door's cat.

She also turned out to be a 'mutual' friend of Date 94 and gave me some interesting advice about her, but more of that to come.

Date 90

"Paint a Vulgar Picture."

I haven't blogged for ages, partly because my dates have been brief and incident free but mainly because I've been on the receiving end recently and read a blog that someone had written about me.

It felt very strange and I didn't like it as it didn't show me in a very good light. Unfairly so in my opinion. I don't intend to write a counter-blog but all I will say on the matter is that the 'blogger' in question had followed the old adage that one should never let the facts get in the way of a good story. As Flavor Flav said numerous times: 'Don't believe the hype.'

Anyway, on to a brief and incident free date night. I met Date 90 through Plenty of Fish and she was actually a lot of fun and very good company. So much so, that there's not really much to say about her as, despite her mad hair, she was a very nice person. I don't think there was anything romantic between us but we did meet up again and had another good time working our way round a few pubs in Brighton. Plus, she wants me to be on her pub quiz team! She did actually have a couple of good dating stories though, about the men of PoF which I can't not divulge.

The first one involved a man who lived in a house boat in Brighton Marina. For their date he wanted to meet on his boat for dinner but she declined so they decided in the end to meet in his camper van in Asda carpark, which is located in the Marina complex. She wasn't that impressed because he turned up wearing shorts and the romantic dinner for two consisted of a ploughman's lunch. At the end of the night he intimated that he wanted her to stay the night but when she said no he told her to leave and drove off back the short distance to his house boat and left her to find her way out of the marina on her own late at night!

She then mentioned a male stripper who'd messaged her on PoF. I was intrigued and I asked what he was like. She said she didn't know as she didn't reply to him as, in her words, it had occurred to her that he'd seen so many tits in his time that he'd only be disappointed by hers even though she though hers were good. I think I'll leave it there...

Date 89

"And if you think peace is a common goal, that goes to show how little you know."

I'd only exchanged a few messages with this person from Match before she suggested we meet up for an afternoon drink as she was in Brighton clothes shopping one Sunday. The day actually coincided with a pathetic 'March for England' through Brighton which involved a load of so called hardmen looking for a fight in the name of nationalism. The pub I picked for us to meet at was actually the scene of the most violent confrontation of the day which occurred, unbeknownst to me, about 10 minutes before I arrived. The picture below was taken from inside the pub.

   The Brighton Argus (2014)

When I got there I'd had no idea what had happened as it had just been cleared up, although my date had arrived slightly earlier during the aftermath. I like my dates dangerous.

We only had a few drinks but I thought that we'd got on well and she was very attractive. Unfortunately, I contacted her the next day about a second date and she declined stating that she thought that we were at different stages in our life and she didn't know where it could go. Whilst I don't really know what she meant, at least she was honest.

During our drinks she told me about a couple of guys she'd been out on with dates previously. One of them turned out to be a racist homophobe and the other one was the most serious and non-humourous man she'd apparently ever met. Unbelievably she went out on three dates with both of them! What must she have thought of me to not want to meet up again?!

Date 88

"To tease, torment and tantalise."

My second date in Brighton and my second date using good old Tinder.

I've said it before, but Tinder is really odd. I don't understand why, when I get a match and message someone, the vast majority of the time they never reply. Why have they swiped right in the first place? It can hardly be the cut of my jib either as most people don't even have any text on their profiles: just pictures; so it's not as if there's much to go on.

With this person we messaged for a while and the chat wasn't that earth-shattering, but the novelty of someone actually replying to me kept things going even when she took a week to respond. I was quite surprised when she asked me for a drink as I didn't think she was that bothered so I really didn't have any expectations. As it turned out though, she was lovely and we got on really well.

We had about 4 or 5 drinks and I found her great company. She had some great such stories such as a wine bar nearby an ex used to take her to that was allegedly run and owned by a male porn star. I haven't been able to locate it yet, but I'm still trying.

It also turned out to be her first internet date, which became obvious to me when she actually asked me at the end of the night whether I'd like to go on another date! I'm not used to this honesty and lack of game playing so I automatically said I'd love to. And thus we parted ways and I felt very positive as she wanted to see me again, right?

I texted her the next day and asked if she was free at the weekend. She replied and said no but didn't say when she'd next be free. I didn't hear from her for a week so texted her again and asked whether she fancied another drink the following weekend. She never responded, so I left it because I clearly misread what she meant when she said she wanted to go on another date...