Date 97

"I'm tired and I, I want to go to bed."

The most remarkable thing about this date from Guardian Soulmates was actually the weather, as it was apparently the warmest Halloween on record. So we actually spent the initial part of the evening sitting outside a pub on Brighton beach as it was such a beautiful evening.

I've never really understood what people mean by this when they say it, but she had a really kind and caring aura about her. I can't articulate it very well but there was something about her that had a very calming effect on me. She was also absolutely hilarious.

It was therefore, very strange when she basically just buggered off after we'd eaten. I don't think it was even 8pm and as soon as we were outside the restaurant she said she had to go and hot-footed it out of there.

It was very weird. I didn't fancy her but I wanted to say to her that it had been lovely to meet her and I hoped we could stay in touch, but her abrupt exit stopped me from doing so afterwards and I assumed that she couldn't wait to get away from me!

As it turned out though, she emailed me the next evening and pretty much said exactly what I was thinking:

'It was lovely to meet you last night and you are certainly one lovely human. I didn't have that elusive spark but I would be happy to meet up again for a half-pint and a mooch. Sorry I darted off, I was actually really worn out...'

She had actually mentioned that she lived next door to very noisy students, and would regularly be kept awake by what she initially thought was a very squeaky hamster wheel, but upon further investigation it turned out to be them just shagging. 

Date 6

"Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go."

This will go down as my shortest and possibly THE shortest date in history as it barely lasted 30 minutes.

I hadn't really exchanged many e-mails with the person in question, but it had transpired that she knew one of my musician friends as they'd done some session work together. I, therefore, had mentioned her to said musician buddy and she'd informed me that date number 3 from Soulmates was 'lovely.' With this endorsement in mind I thought that things might go well; how wrong I was.

After recognising her at our meeting place, I went over and introduced myself and I was instantly taken aback by the look of horror in her face. She was simply aghast. I'd like to add at this point that I'm certainly not under the illusion that I resemble Marlon Brando in his heyday, but I'm hardly Joseph Merrick! Plus, everyone I have ever met off Soulmates have always said how I look exactly like my profile picture, so it's not as if I'd incorrectly marketed myself as looking like Brad Pitt.

Things hadn't got off to a great start and they got even worse when, after buying her a drink, the conversation completely dried up after about 10 minutes as she seemed completely uninterested by anything that I had to say and she just stopped talking and turned to simply stare at the Thames. During this uncomfortable silence, which probably lasted a few minutes but seemed longer, I was frantically trying to come up with an escape plan, when thankfully she averted her gaze from the river view and said she had band practice and had to leave. I was relieved and couldn't get back to the station quick enough.

On my way home on the train, I texted my musician friend to tell her about what had happened and she simply replied with 'oops,' which said it all!