Date 195

"I know that I'm the most inept that ever stepped."

I was meant to go on a date with this person about 4 or 5 years ago but she cancelled rather abruptly and I remember her being quite arsey about it. For some reason she'd stuck in my mind and I was surprised that she now had 3 children as when we'd been in contact previously, she only had 2. More of this later.

Although I remembered her, she definitely had no recollection of me and even contacted me first on Hinge, which I was surprised at.

We were going to meet near me in Brighton for our first date, as she was nearby due to her job one evening, but she kept changing plans and pubs had just reopened so it was difficult to be spontaneous as a lot of places only took bookings, although I did find a couple that did walk-ins. In the end she asked if I wanted to meet her in Worthing the following week as that's where she lived. I barely know Worthing so she suggested a pub but also made me book it, which I found a bit odd as I was coming to visit her. I did book a table but even after that she queried whether I'd got the right one and whether we'd be able to get food so she was coming across as very bossy.

During our texts I was definitely having my doubts about meeting her due to her constant nagging and teasing which she clearly found funny but wasn't. We'd spoken on the phone and although I'm originally from Newcastle, my accent has pretty much gone bar the odd word or phrase as I've lived down south for so long. So then she took to constantly referring to me as a fake geordie, would make jokes about my lack of hair on top and my education. Although she came across as very confident, I sensed that she also had a chip on her shoulder and was probably quite insecure. I can take a joke but I found it odd to be like this when you've not even met someone.

It took me just over an hour door to door to get to the pub (I got there by train) and I was a bit early. Even though she lived 15 minutes walk away she managed to be 20 minutes late. She did ring to tell me but I'd already been sitting on my own for about 10 minutes.

When she did decide to rock up I was really surprised by how her photos didn't do her justice as she was so attractive. Her choice of pub was excellent too as it was a microbrewery and did the best pizzas. However, they were probably the best bits of the night as I don't think I've met anyone so full of themselves and also so critical of others.

Everything I said, she seemed to have an opinion on and let me know how my life choices were wrong and how she'd have done them differently. I've mentioned in this blog before how I used to care for my Mum full-time for a decade until she passed away a few years ago. I decided to take some time off and do my own thing and now I have a new job and different life lined up. However, she even saw fit to criticise me for the time it has taken me to stop being a carer and get a new career. I'm very laid back and not in any way confrontational but even I had to tell her that she'd crossed the line.

As mentioned earlier, in the last few years she'd had another child with someone she'd met from a dating site at the time we were meant to meet about 4 years ago. In fact, she possibly cancelled our date as she'd met the father of her child. However, this man has nothing to do with their son and never sees him, which I think is largely due to him having alcohol and drug issues. I'd never judge someone else on their life choices as these things just happen and I'm very sympathetic to situations like that, but I found it almost breathtaking on her part that she could be so critical and judgemental about me. 

As it happens, I don't think she liked me anyway as after the pizza she said she had a pounding headache and would it be ok if she could go home. As much as I was attracted to her, her abrasiveness was a turn-off and neither of us contacted the other. I wouldn't have been able to reach her high standards anyway.