Date 80

"God, how sex implores you."

After dabbling with the free sites for a while, I decided to go back to good old Match. Having spoken on the phone as well as exchanging a fair few messages with this woman, I suggested that we go for drinks in Richmond. As we both lived in the same area she suggested that we meet at the bus stop to get there rather than at the destination itself. I thought this was a bit weird as it meant we'd have to share a bus journey which could turn out to be awkward but I just went with it.

When we did meet at the bus stop she realised the implications of this and suggested we get separate buses! I didn't know if she was actually joking or not but we got the same bus anyway and it was absolutely fine and not awkward at all. As it turned out we got on really well, both got pretty hammered, and for only the second time on a first date, we got a cab back to hers, where she made me a halloumi sandwich (not a euphemism) and we had sex. Considering I'd been experiencing a personal drought for almost two years, I was amazed as to how well things went as in theory things could have been over VERY quickly...but thankfully they weren't. The next day brought one of the shortest walks of shame that I'd ever done and I was home in about 20 minutes.

The following week we went for dinner but I didn't go back to hers as she was getting up early the next morning to leave for a holiday. While she was away, she rang me up for a chat one night and I noticed something that worried me a little bit. While we were talking, she suddenly blurted out: 'I can hear typing, is that you typing? Are you sending a message to someone else on Match while you're speaking to me?' On this occasion she wasn't joking. I denied it as I wasn't doing anything of the sort and in fact I hadn't even been on my laptop all day so was just on the phone to her whilst I was lying on my bed.

That was all very odd, but we still agreed to go out again when she got back. We went to Richmond again as we had on our first date and the end result was the same as we went back to hers. Something then hilarious or unfortunate happened the next morning; depending on how you look at things. We were having sex again and she was on top. We'd been going for ages and I felt that I was just about to reach the point of no return, when suddenly I got the most painful cramp I'd ever experienced in my left calf. She thought I was moaning because I was enjoying things so I had to tell her very quickly that she needed to get off me and I began running round her flat trying to get rid of the cramp. What a disturbing image that must have been. Unfortunately, as it was the morning I had to go and although she saw the funny side, she made me feel bad for leaving her hanging.

We were both busy the following week so I didn't see her again until a very impromptu get together on a Sunday night where things started to unravel. This was effectively our 4th date and I went round to her flat and we had something to eat then went to bed. She seemed to be in a bit of a funny mood and for some reason things weren't really happening. While we were lying there she said to me 'if I get pregnant then I'm not getting an abortion.' I didn't say anything. What was I meant to say? After a few minutes of awkward silence she then demanded to know why I was being so quiet. I told her that I didn't know what to say and she started crying. At this point in time I was pretty confused and she then said something that I thought was way below the belt. However, before I go into this I need to fill in a bit of background. I've spent the last few weeks wondering if I should make this public as it's so personal but here goes.

For the last few years, myself and my sister have been part time carers for my seriously ill mother. We both had full time jobs but left them to take on this responsibility as she has Parkinson's Disease and is unable to look after herself anymore. It's an enormous ask for both of us but we just about manage and we both fulfill freelance jobs to keep things ticking over. This may sound like we don't have any spare time but in actuality we have active social lives because we act as a team. All this means really is that sometimes we can't do things on the spur of the moment and that we co-ordinate between us who looks after her if one of us is out. However, sometimes I may need a day or two's notice to be able to go out. I'm always honest with people from the start about the situation and it hasn't hindered my sister as she's in a very serious relationship with a guy she met off Guardian Soulmates over two years ago and he's so supportive it's untrue. My life is still fairly normal but it just so happens that at this moment in time I have some responsibilities.

I'm used to being teased about this from previous women I've met through dating and I think that it has scared some off, particularly Date 55, who ended our relationship because of it. So, I wasn't very impressed when after her tears had subsided, she forcibly told me that I might as well be married with children because I couldn't drop everything for her and be at her beck and call. I explained to her that the two situations were completely different. I don't think anyone these days can just drop everything at a moment's notice and there were times when I couldn't see her as she was on holiday or had work commitments. I'd rather I didn't have these responsibilities but shit happens and who knows what the future holds? She also told me that I should warn people by stating on my dating profile about the situation I'm in.

Things had become a bit weird so I told her I thought it was best if I just went home. She texted me the next day and said she was sorry that she'd been all serious and we exchanged texts on and off for a couple of days. I then didn't text her for a few days and she sent me an arsey one saying that I'd made it clear that I wasn't keen on her and that she wanted to say she'd had fun and wished me good luck in the future. I replied by saying I'd had a lot of fun too and I wished her good luck as well...and that was that.