"There's a club if you'd like to go. You could meet somebody who really loves you. So you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own. And you go home and you cry and you want to die."
This was a disaster. And alcohol and Tinder really don't mix well (neither do craft beer and Jack Daniels for that matter).
About 5 days before our first date, I'd received a message from this lady at about 10pm on a Saturday night, desperately trying to get me to come out with her into Brighton. She was child-free and wanted to hit the bars and clubs. I had loads on the next day so politely declined her request, or else I would have done.
By this point I'd already got the idea that she was quite a party girl. She was also not the type of woman that I normally went on dates with, but I liked being out of my comfort zone and was quite excited about meeting her.
In the lead up to our date, for about 4 or 5 days in a row, she messaged me to ask where and when we were meeting. Each time I'd tell her the time and send her a link to either a map or the website of the bar. I found this really odd and a bit irritating (I've no idea why she couldn't just scroll back up to when she'd previously asked me) and when it came to it I had to meet her at a bus stop as she was incapable of finding the place even though it was really simple.
When I met her off the bus she looked like she was on a mission. She was completely done up in clubbing gear with leather trousers and really elaborate shoes etc. and she did look very glamourous. She stopped off to get some cigarettes, then we embarked on the 5 minute easy walk to the bar I'd chosen.
We got on pretty well and I really did fancy her. Her taste in music left a lot to be desired but she was knowledgeable and open-minded to other sorts. She was really funny too and didn't seem to possess a filter. We live very near each other and she'd lived in my village for a bit, and still frequents it on a regular basis. I was quite surprised that she's also permanently barred from a couple of pubs, though strangely she didn't know why...
We drank solidly for about 5 hours and if the date had ended there then that would have been great. The bar had stopped serving as it was after midnight and we were just about to go our separate ways home when she persuaded me to go to a gay club with her.
Now I really was out of my comfort zone. I'm really not a clubbing person but I went along with it and even started dancing with her. I. NEVER. DANCE. We were very drunk when we went in and kept on drinking. Then things went a bit weird. I can't remember exactly what happened but I'd been doing things like twirling her around etc. and for some reason she really forcibly pushed me away. I was a bit shocked then went to the toilet and when I returned she was talking to someone else. I kept my distance then sat down for a bit. I later went back to where we'd been and couldn't see her so messaged to her ask if she'd left, but got no reply. Then a smiling guy came up to me and put his arm round me and I asked him if he knew where my 'friend' was. I think he knew her as he took me to her as she was somewhere else in the club with other people. I tried to talk to her but couldn't hear what was she saying as the music was so loud. She really looked pissed off so I just left.
For some reason, instead of getting a taxi, I walked all the way home, which is probably a good 80 minute stroll. It's not a particularly safe route either as you pretty much have to walk along a dual carriageway for part of it. On the plus side though, I completed my 10,000 steps for the day even before I'd been to bed.
There'd been a time early on in the club where I was going to get her mobile number, call it a night and just leave. As we'd just been communicating through Tinder (and I didn't have her number) I sent her a message when I finished my journey to tell her I'd got home and asked her what had happened. She never replied so I actually deleted her from Tinder because I figured I wouldn't hear from her and I actually didn't want to know anyway.
The next day I was still drunk when I woke up and felt terrible as I just didn't know what had gone on. I'm convinced that I didn't do anything wrong but I kept playing it through my mind for days afterwards. I spoke to a few people about it and it seems possible that she had always intended to go clubbing afterwards and might have just wanted me to go with her, but then wasn't really bothered about me being there when we'd got in, as she seemed to know other people there. She had been openly sending texts while we were still in the first bar (not good dating etiquette) so maybe she was arranging to meet people in there. I've got no idea really and it's just something I'm going to have to put down to experience and remember in the future to leave when the going is good...especially when things start getting messy.
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