Date 176

"And you must be looking very old tonight."

I initially had thought about cancelling this as, although I was yet again travelling to London to meet her, she'd said that on first dates she only met for a drink or two and not for long. In reality, that's sensible and probably how first dates should be, but I wondered if it was worth my while going all that way.

I got there a bit early and nabbed an impressive diner style table in a bar then got a text from her saying that she was also there. I knew she was a few years older than me but the only other person in there was sitting over the opposite side in a pink jumper, but she looked in her late 50's at best. I got another text from her saying that she was wearing a pink jumper...

I saw her go to the bar out of the corner of my eye, order a drink and make her way over to me. For a split second I thought that there was maybe more than one person wearing a pink jumper in the bar that evening, but she said my name inquisitively and told me that she was normally good at recognising men from their profiles. The irony wasn't lost on me as, I'm not saying that she lied about her age, but she was meant to be about 5 years older then me and not 15. Meeow.

As it turned out, she was a really nice person and we had a few drinks, as opposed to a couple. It was quite clear that a second date wouldn't be happening but she sent me a really lovely message the next day saying that I'd restored her faith in humanity. I'm not exactly sure how I did that, so I can only assume that I was polite and normal in comparison to the nutters she normally meets.

Date 170

"But now you make me feel so ashamed."

I'd been really looking forward to this date but it turned out to be a non-event. Although I always take compliments from people I've not yet met before with a pinch of salt, it's still nice to receive them. She'd sent me texts about how she really fancied me and that she liked the shape I made (new one on me).

As it turned out, I don't think she did fancy me and when I asked her about the other expression, she became quite annoyed and said it meant that she liked my body shape...We had a few drinks and it was pleasant enough but we weren't on the same wavelength and she didn't have that much to say.

We lived quite near each other so got the same bus home and when we got on the top deck she saw someone she knew, and this embarrassed her for whatever reason, probably because she'd have to explain at a later time who I was (which she intimated).

I texted her later to thank her for the evening, which she responded to, but after that I didn't hear from or try to make contact with her.

Date 165

"You won't see me anymore."

I was really looking forward to this date and I think that she was too as she'd already mentioned things we could go and see if the first date went well. Alas, it wasn't to be. I always try to keep my feet on the ground before meeting someone but when they appear excited I think I get carried away a bit, especially as we'd been texting a lot beforehand.

This date, of course, took place in London again...I think we'd agreed to meet at 8;15pm but on my way there from Brighton she texted me to say she'd missed her train and didn't rock up until 9pm. She lived 20 minutes away and my journey was over 2 hours door to door so I just had to go for a wander until she turned up.

Due to her lateness we couldn't get into the restaurant that we were intending to go to but found an ok replacement nearby. I thought we got on really well and she regaled me with stories about how she hung out with New Order as she'd worked on a documentary about them, and we planned to go and see the Stanley Kubrick exhibition at the Design Museum.

However, I had to leave at around 10;30pm to make my trek back to the south coast, although I'd loved to have stayed longer. I felt very positive about how it had gone but those vibes were short-lived as she texted me the next night to say she liked me but probably said something about there not being a spark. I was definitely disappointed and a bit surprised by this but she was very up front and I can have no complaints because we had a nice, if short, evening and she was completely honest with me. Cowards and 'Ghosters' take note.

We texted for a week or so afterwards and did make plans to go to that exhibition but we never did and I stopped hearing from her.

Date 158

"No more apologies." 

This was a bad date and that was partly down to me as I've no idea why we met in the first place. I sort of knew beforehand that we didn't have much in common but sometimes I just like to go out and meet new people, so tend to go on more dates that I should (no shit; it's date 158!!!).

She suggested the pub we should meet in and whilst it wasn't that much of a trek for me, it still took about 1.5 hours door to door to get there. When I did arrive, I found out that it was only 5 minutes from where she lived, which was a bit bloody convenient for her. 

I didn't really know what to make of her, as she was quite full of herself and let me know very early on that if we did stay in touch then it would be as friends and nothing else. Which is completely fair enough as I always welcome honesty. However, she then proceeded to rattle off all the things that she didn't like about me...One of them might have been not listening to people whilst on dates, but I can't remember the rest as I'd zoned out by then.

The worst part of the night was actually the fact though that I have no definite idea of how I got home that evening (that's also not taking into consideration that I think I may have knocked her glass of wine over at some point). Which genuinely still scares me as I'm normally very careful about these things, especially as I was in a completely unfamiliar area. Despite it being a rubbish date, we got really drunk and I don't know how. I've got a vague idea that my journey home involved two taxis but that's pure guesswork. I'm still ashamed of letting myself get so pissed and I think that it's acted as a real wake-up call for me even though I'm not a regular drinker. Despite being so inebriated, I still managed to use a cash-point, hang my coat up, lock the back door and fold my clothes up neatly before waking up and having no idea how I'd got in my bed. My one error though, had been to leave my keys in my niece's highchair which my sister found the next day!

I also wanted to use this post to discuss what should have been Date 159.

Shortly after the above disaster, I'd arranged to meet someone for drinks a lot closer to home. Since, I'd been left abusive voice mails by a previous nutcase, I'd been slightly reluctant to swap numbers, although this person didn't ask to and I don't think it would have made any difference anyway.

The location, day and time had been set by this supposed 159th date and I was looking forward to it, plus it had been confirmed as we'd been speaking the day before. I got to the pub a bit early so sent her a message via the Bumble app to say I'd ordered a drink and was sitting at the bar. About 20 minutes later I'd finished my drink and hadn't heard anything from her and obviously by this time she was running late. I then ordered another drink and spotted a booth seat and table free so nabbed that and messaged her again to tell her where I was sitting. It then dawned on me that she wasn't coming and for the first time in my life I'd been stood up by a date. Although I knew she wasn't going to show up I got another drink as I'd made all the effort to come into Brighton so thought I'd have one for the road.

I finished that drink and was just about to leave when I belatedly received a message from her. A full hour after we were meant to meet and it was the biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard. She claimed that she hadn't been able to access the app during the day, so by her Planet Weirdo logic had presumed we weren't meeting....which is quite an assumption to make. I said I'd been there an hour and was just about to leave and she responded by saying that was a shame as she'd been Christmas shopping nearby and really fancied a pint. So, at no point did she think to venture into the bar and check if I was there. She was also seemingly more concerned by her thirst than the fact that she'd stood me up. I was absolutely livid but I didn't reply so when I got home and I'd heard nothing from her, let alone an apology, I deleted her from the app and reported her (not that anything would happen anyway). 

I suppose I'd done well to get to this many dates and not have experienced a 'no show' before, as I'm sure its very common, but it's such a cowardly thing to do and I've no idea how anyone can just not turn up. What the hell is wrong with people?! I also vowed never to use Bumble or go on a date again...but of course I did.

Date 30

"Oh, I'm too tired. I'm so very tired."

Another strange girl. We'd actually talked a lot by e-mail during the initial stages of when I had first started seeing date 28. We seemed to have a lot in common particularly in terms of films and she seemed lovely. She asked me out for a date and I really wanted to meet her but as things were going well with 28 I thought long and hard and I had to politely decline her request and I explained to her the reason and she was fine about it. In retrospect this was a bad move but as I'm a very honest person and a man of principles I thought I was doing the right thing.

After things had ended with 28 I thought that I had nothing to lose so I got back in contact with this lady and explained the situation (without going into detail) and that if she still wanted to then we could meet up. To my surprise she actually said 'yes.'

All in all it was quite a disappointing date. Just as I was on my way to meet her she texted me to tell me she was going to be late. I wasn't too pleased as I live out in the sticks and she hadn't given me any notice. I was actually drawing some money out from a cash machine at the time and such was my annoyance that I walked off without my £40, which was obviously not there when I went back to retrieve it a few minutes later after realising my absent-mindedness. Luckily, I'd remembered to bring a book this time but unluckily she was about one and a half hours late. I thought we got on quite well but after a couple of drinks she said she was really tired, which actually wasn't surprising as it was near the end of the evening as she'd arrived so late.

I asked her there and then if she wanted another date and she said she was going to be honest with me and she said that she had another date the following night but she'd e-mail me the next week anyway. I knew from that moment that I wouldn't see her again but I thought she could at least have given me another chance as she'd arrived so late. I realise I messed her around to an extent after initially turning her down but that wasn't my fault and in my mind I was being loyal to 28.

Anyway, she e-mailed me the following week and said she'd had a lovely evening and wished that we'd met as friends as she thought we'd have been great mates, but she said that she thought I probably wasn't looking for any new friends as I was on a dating website and I probably had enough already. I replied to say I'd be really happy to be mates and I never heard from her.

This was a real shame as I thought that she was lovely. She'd also waxed lyrically in her initial e-mails about the fact that her favourite party game was Smiths charades, but unfortunately I never got to ask her about it, which was disappointing too.

Date 19

"Heavy words are so lightly thrown."

I used to be addicted to Scrabulous (RIP) on Facebook and I'd mentioned this on my Soulmate's profile. This person mailed me first saying how she liked the much missed word game too (pretty good ice-breaker I'd say) and so we started playing it on FB and then decided to meet as she seemed quite keen to do so.

I didn't really actually see meeting her as a date as such, but I was more than happy to hook up for a few drinks. It was a pretty pleasant afternoon and she was good company but we didn't really have very much in common.

She politely mailed me the next day to say she didn't think there was a spark and when I replied in agreement she said she was relieved that I felt the same way. We stayed in touch for a bit but never saw each other again in any capacity.