Date 119

"A friendship sadly lost?"

To me, living less than 20 miles away from a potential girlfriend is no distance at all. My last meaningful relationship involved going to North London every couple of weeks so I'm happy to travel. When replying to my first message on Plenty of Fish, Date 119 was up front and warned me that she wasn't interested in a long-distance relationship. My response was that we only lived 18.3 miles apart so then she said, ok, well if it doesn't bother you then lets meet up for a drink!

I was really excited about meeting up with her and as she lived in Eastbourne I said I'd venture over to her if she suggested a pub as I'd only been once or twice, so my knowledge of the place was virtually zero. I wanted to be on top form as well as I was keen to impress her...however, that bit didn't quite go to plan.

The previous night I'd been out with a friend in Hove, and there's no other way of putting this, but I got absolutely shitfaced. She put me in a taxi home but for some strange reason I asked the cab to drop me off at a village green about 15 minutes walk from my house. The next thing I can remember was being woken up by three young 'samaritans' at 4am asking me if I needed an ambulance...still on the village green! I can only assume that I passed out or just fell asleep. They at first thought I was a dog which I can only guess was because I had a furry hood on and a peak cap, and no doubt I was snoring my head off which probably sounded like growling. When they realised I was a male human, they actually dialled 999 as they thought I'd collapsed but I assured them that I was merely drunk so they cancelled the call. They then went above and beyond the call of duty by walking me all the way home. I was so grateful to them and feel very lucky that they found me as things could have been much worse. When I woke up the next day, I was so embarrassed as I'd never done anything like that before and have always managed to get myself home even when very inebriated. Besides guilt and embarrassment, my stomach didn't feel too good either. Luckily, I wasn't out until the evening so I stayed in bed for as long as I could but all I could manage to eat was a slice of toast and about 3 crisps all day. I was determined to go on my date though!

Door to door it took me about an hour and a half to get there. I also arrived about half an hour early so went for a stroll, then ordered a coke and sat in the pub, still not feeling great. Even though she lived about 10 minutes away she still managed to be half an hour late so I was in there quite a while, probably looking a bit worse for wear.

When she did rock up I wasn't disappointed, and forgive me for my shallowness, but she was the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Even though she was 49 and therefore 9 years older than me, she genuinely looked like someone in their mid-thirties. She was also the spit of Suranne Jones, which was brilliant as she happens to be a celebrity crush of mine. At various points of the night, I thought I was actually having a drink with the real Ms Jones, but this could have been down to the fact that I might have still been drunk from my previous night's escapades. For the rest of the evening I just had a water and a coffee and explained the reason for this, which she found funny. I think that that was a real disadvantage though as a combination of tiredness and sobriety probably didn't show me in a true light.

Besides this setback, I thought that we got on well, although we clearly didn't have the same music tastes. She asked me what I liked and I said The Smiths. She then went on to surmise that because of this I must like U2 and Coldplay as well. I stared at her blankly.

At the end of the night I got the impression that she wanted to see me again, however, when I texted her the next day, she said yes but only as friends. I was very disappointed but I said that was ok.

A week or so later I contacted her to see if she fancied visiting Brighton one evening. She said she would have done but she happened to be away when I'd suggested a night. A few days later she blocked me on Facebook despite there having been no further contact between us. I can only assume that she was offended by my profile picture which captures the moment that I met Brian Blessed, so she's obviously not a fan.

Date 56

"Two lumps, please. You're the bee's knees, but so am I."

My last ever date using match.com and I won't be going back there in a hurry as I've deleted my profile. Date number 56 was a truly lovely lady. She was about 6 years younger then me and a self-confessed Katy Perry lookalike, although that was more to do with people commenting on the likeness rather than her being arrogant. We met for a couple of drinks near Hampton Court and agreed to meet again for a second date. We were in email contact for the next week or so then one day she deleted me from Facebook without explanation and I didn't hear from her again. A few months later, however, I was trying out a free dating website in which users could leave feedback for people they'd met, and out of the blue (as I didn't know she was on the site), she left the following message: "A real gentleman - genuine, intelligent, honest & down to earth. Too good for someone like myself." It was very sweet of her to say that about me but I have no idea what she was talking about when saying that I was too good for her as I really wanted to see her again and it makes me sound like I have a superiority complex.

Date 44

"If you're so very good looking, why do you sleep alone tonight?"

I had a fantastic night and at the time I had high hopes of a second date. We got on really well as she had a fantastically wicked sense of humour, although I think a lot of the time alcohol plays a huge part in determining how well a date goes, and we spent a good 5 or 6 hours together. We'd also attended the same university, although at different times as I'm about 5 or 6 years older than her, and actually lived in the same area at the same time for a few years.

Anyway, as things turned out she didn't want to go on a second date but wanted to stay friends. I was obviously disappointed at yet another rejection and I also felt I was probably at a slight disadvantage because of the fact that I was the first internet date she'd been on and so she probably wanted to see what else was out there. However, at least she was honest and completely up front about things.

We ended up meeting again for a quick drink (6 months after our date) and I think she was spot on about just being friends, however, we never saw or spoke to each other again after that.

As an aside to this she told me that she'd been in a relationship for the last 3 months with someone she'd met down her local pub. Subsequently, I saw a picture of him on Facebook and I was surprised when I saw that he looked like a Hell's Angel; complete with a shaved head and a long, pure ginger goatee type beard. I immediately felt relieved that it was my personality she wasn't attracted to and not my looks.

Date 19

"Heavy words are so lightly thrown."

I used to be addicted to Scrabulous (RIP) on Facebook and I'd mentioned this on my Soulmate's profile. This person mailed me first saying how she liked the much missed word game too (pretty good ice-breaker I'd say) and so we started playing it on FB and then decided to meet as she seemed quite keen to do so.

I didn't really actually see meeting her as a date as such, but I was more than happy to hook up for a few drinks. It was a pretty pleasant afternoon and she was good company but we didn't really have very much in common.

She politely mailed me the next day to say she didn't think there was a spark and when I replied in agreement she said she was relieved that I felt the same way. We stayed in touch for a bit but never saw each other again in any capacity.