Date 190

"I'd get such a shock, I'd probably jump in the ocean."

This date took place in early November, so when COVID restrictions were considerably less strict, although we only met for a coffee on the beach.

We'd been in quite a bit of contact through texting and had planned to meet a bit later on when the pubs were due to open again but she wanted to see if there was any chemistry first, as we were going to have to wait for a good few weeks yet. And it's just as well we did as there was zero chemistry... She'd been very sexually explicit early on with our texting, although that's not what all our conversations were about. 

When we met, she wasn't really what I was expecting and didn't have much to say so we only had one coffee. I was also a bit taken aback when she gave me a peck on the cheek when we said goodbye at her car. She's the second date to do that during COVID and I just don't get how that's happening as I've not done that to anyone since the pandemic started.

We did keep in touch via text for a while afterwards but they just fizzled out. I would have been happy to see her again but I think she felt the same way about me and I could tell that the texts were different after meeting as she became quite vague. I also think that she'd been on a date inside a pub with someone a few days earlier (even though at the time you weren't allowed to meet someone from a different household inside), and she'd been quite secretive regarding that. We definitely weren't compatible though and it was quite ironic that we met on the beach as she couldn't swim.

Date 133

"And when a train goes by, it's such a sad sound."

This date and I had first made contact about 18 months previously through Tinder. We had been going to meet up but she cancelled last minute and disappeared.

Then a couple of months ago she contacted me out of the blue and we got chatting again, spoke on the phone then finally decided to go on a belated first date.

As she lives in Kent, we worked out that Hastings is roughly half-way between us so met for lunch. I'm sorry if any Hastings residents are reading this but it is an absolute shithole. Although I'm only quoting lyrics by The Smiths for this blog, it's a shame I can't use one of Morrissey's solo efforts and describe it as 'the coastal town that they forgot to close down,' as although that song isn't about Hastings, it really could be.

I know Hastings a little bit through Date 99, so I found a cafe in the old town area as it is actually quite decent and different from the rest of the place. So, we had coffee and lunch and then she announced to me that she had a chiropodist's appointment so had to go. I genuinely think she did but I'd have appreciated a bit of notice as I consequently missed my train, had to wait an hour for the next one then ended up getting home 3 hours later due to the vagaries of Southern Railways.

Before she left though, we made plans for a second date a week or so later in Lewes, which is a lot easier for me to get to. However, that never took place as she cancelled at the last minute and when I suggested rearranging she said yes, but she saw me in the role of friend rather than anything romantic.

I was a bit disappointed as I was looking forward to seeing her again but she is one of the flakiest people I know. I've not seen her again but she sporadically contacts me then disappears; as is her wont. She's also a bit humourless at times as I found out when I was being a bit jokey in some text messages and she got quite passive aggressive and told me in no uncertain terms that I was annoying her and she didn't appreciate me besmirching her character, which I really wasn't doing. On second thoughts, I'm probably better off without her!

Date 103

"And when I'm lying in my bed, I think about life and I think about death."

My third Tinder date in as many months, so I'd set a new record. Before we'd even met I could tell this person liked to burn both ends of the candle with a blowtorch, as one Saturday night she texted me at about 1am to ask if I wanted to join her down by Brighton Seafront as she was at some kind of party. Considering I was in bed and I live nowhere near Brighton Beach, I declined her kind offer.

I think with her being 9 years older than me, she definitely represented the largest age gap of anyone I had met on a date and I also found out that she'd appeared on Dragon's Den, so clearly the most famous person that I've been out with. We only met for a couple of hours and I have to say that she was very attractive and friendly, however, I couldn't get a word in edge-ways all night and we had to sit outside the pub while she chain-smoked, which did put me off a bit as I'm an annoying reformed ex-smoker.

She certainly seemed like she could be a fun person and we agreed to a second date but that never came to fruition as she turned out to be a bit flakey. I have since found out that she's actually a friend of a friend and also quite the hedonist, which is probably just as well as I doubt I'd be able to keep up with her.

Date 29

"Nowhere fast."

My first date after bitch 28. Although I wasn't in the mood for dating I'd reasoned that it would take my mind off things. As it happened it was a very swift date that lasted a couple of drinks with this woman who was originally from Bolton. She was quite funny so I texted her afterwards about a second one and she said 'yes,' but in a week's time. So I texted her back a week later about it and she simply said 'I'd rather not.'