Date 69

"This story is old, I know, but it goes on."

Never has this blog had a more apt title. Every date I've had over the last couple of years has failed to lead to a second one and I really don't know what I'm doing differently as the outcome of each date is now turning into a bit of a broken record. I'm also not counting Date 66 as although it technically was two dates, the second one was in reality just a ruse to get a gig ticket paid for.

Myself and Date 69 had been in email contact through match.com for quite a few weeks before our date took place so I knew that we'd get on as we clearly had lots in common and we had virtually the same tastes in bands, music, film and tv, so we were never going to be short of things to talk about, and that proved to be the case.

She was almost seven years older than me and although the date (which consisted of a few drinks in a bar then a meal in a restaurant) lasted about 5 or 6 hours, we both commented on how it had absolutely flown by which is normally a good sign. There's not really that much more I can say as she was a very sweet, friendly and funny woman, we got on really well and there were no moments of drama or awkward silences to contend with. It was basically a very enjoyable first date and although I'm never confident that a second date is a certainty, on this occasion I genuinely had high hopes.

I was therefore a little bit surprised when I received a text from her very early the next morning saying that she'd really enjoyed meeting me but she didn't feel that we'd clicked romantically. She also said that she'd be happy to stay in touch as possible gig buddies though.

I'm not sure what clicking romantically actually means as a phrase, which makes me think that I made a huge error of judgement by not turning up in a Bryan Ferry style white dinner jacket and whisking her off to Paris mid-date for a more intimate setting. For me, first dates are all about hooking up and seeing if you get on well and to hopefully then go on a second date when there isn't the pressure of nerves and meeting a stranger for the first time. From personal experience, I'm always a bit wary of there being instant 'fireworks' on a first date as these tend to burn very brightly for a short time then fizzle out very quickly. I refer you to Dates 28 and 55, where the first dates were almost too good to be true, yet both 'relationships' ended very badly.

Having said all that though, at least she was honest and let me know the situation. I replied and said that I thought that was a shame but that being gig buddies would be fine. I've not heard from her since and don't expect to and although I'm not that bothered now (nearly two weeks later)...rejection still sucks.

Date 68

"Boy afraid, prudence never pays."

This latest blog entry should have been about a completely different person, unfortunately, said person cancelled the date with only about 3 hours notice, and gave me probably the worst excuse I've ever heard in my life...she had to bake a cake. It looked very professional as she sent me a picture of it and it sounded delicious as it was a Victoria sponge with butter-cream and homemade blackberry jam filling. But that didn't make up for the fact that my Friday night plans had been ruined and I didn't even get a slice of cake for compensation. I thought at the time it was a genuine reason as she'd asked me out for the drink, set the date and venue, however, it's been almost three weeks since then and I've not heard a peep from her so I can only assume that she got cold feet or met someone else and decided to trot out the crappest excuse imaginable. *

I'd initiated contact with her on Match.com and because my subscription had ended, I decided to venture back into the world of free online dating and, with a heavy heart, decided to give PlentyofFish another shot. I'd only been on one date from the site a couple of years ago (Date 58) and it wasn't a great experience and it had been tricky to get any replies from anyone. My initial impressions were that not a lot had changed as if the members had bothered to fill in their profile (a lot don't and clearly are relying on getting contacted due to their pictures of them posing in risque party outfits) then they still couldn't spell or use punctuation or grammar correctly. However, although this applied to the vast majority of members there did actually seem to be a significant new minority of women who'd infiltrated the site and who appeared to be up my street in terms of sharing similar interests and good tastes in music, film etc.

PlentyofFish also boast that 1 in 3 messages are normally replied to so I thought that I'd be pro-active. I really haven't got a clue where they get that figure from though as I messaged over 30 women and only 1 person replied to me. I didn't just message randomly either as I always contact people with similar interests and I always send well written emails in which it's clear that I've read their profiles. I also never punch above my weight either.

I was therefore quite surprised when I did get a reply and even more surprised when, after a few messages, she asked me if we could chat on the phone. I don't normally like doing that but I rang her one night and we spoke for about 45 minutes, and while it was pleasant enough, I knew that we didn't have that much in common. I was then surprised again when I received a text from her the next morning saying that she'd really enjoyed talking to me and that she was very keen to meet up. As she was going to Egypt for a week I told her to contact me when she was back so that we could arrange something.

We live really close to each other so when she'd returned from her travels I suggested a pub and she suggested the night...which was a Monday. Myself and Bob Geldof don't like Mondays for different reasons, but I'm sure we'd both agree that they're a rubbish night for a date.

Due to the number of dates I've been on, I just never, ever get nervous about first dates anymore, but for some reason I was absolutely petrified about this one all over the weekend and this might have been because she'd been super keen to meet up and I wasn't that fussed, however, the opposite happened as I actually really fancied her but I don't think that she liked me at all.

We got on well enough and she told me some quite amusing stories about her Egyptian adventures such as nearly being arrested for a dispute over a restaurant bill and an over friendly male shop assistant she'd encountered when her and a friend had purchased a couple of belly-dancing outfits. She also regaled me with a tale about attending her first ladies' international rugby match at the weekend but she'd had to leave early as one of the female fans had touched her friend up in the toilets. I did feel that I wasn't quite on form though due to nerves but as she was quite touchy feely, I thought that maybe I was growing on her. Sadly that was just false optimism as she put her coat on when I was only half way through my third drink, and although I guessed this wasn't a good sign, as she might have been a bit chilly, when I asked her if she wanted another drink she said she was a bit tired even though it was only 9:30pm. We then went our separate ways and I walked home surmising whether I come over better in email form and on the phone than I do in the flesh.

Although at the end of the date she said she'd call me, I never heard back from her and I didn't attempt to contact her either as although I was extremely attracted to her, I'm not sure that there was much chemistry between us. If I'd read the signals right as well then I don't think that she was into me at all and I figured that as she was super keen to meet for the first date then I would have heard from her if she'd wanted a second one.

I'm not sure if I'll stay on the site but if I do then I'd better get cracking as I'll need to contact another 30 girls if I want another date.

* I thought I'd give the date that never happened another chance, so I texted her a couple of weeks ago to see if she still wanted to go for that drink. She replied and said that she was definitely still up for it and that when she got home that night she'd check her diary and get back to me. Two weeks later and surprise, surprise...absolutely nothing. What is wrong with people?

Date 67

"I Want the One I Can't Have."

It appears (for me anyway) that second dates have become very scarce of late. Some first dates I've been glad not to see again, other first dates I've hoped would want to hook up again but in my heart of hearts I've known they wouldn't; and then there are some first dates like this one where I've been left feeling disappointed to have not been given a second chance. That's not to suggest that I'm arrogant or up my own arse, but when you've had a really good time and they appear to have done so as well then why not do it again, even if it's just to see if a friendship develops?

After messaging her first and then emailing for a week or so, the lady in question asked me out for a drink. I couldn't initially make the evenings she suggested, but we agreed on a date a couple of weeks later as she was going to be away during half term on a school skiing trip. That clue gives away the fact that she's a teacher, however, she also co-stars in a current tv advert, but I'll not be saying which one.

As we'd been in fairly regular contact through email and she wasn't going to be online during her ski trip, she gave me her mobile number and told me to text her while she was away. Which I did and it was nice to stay in touch and to be kept informed about her adventures on and off the pistes of Austria.

We agreed to meet up the day after she got back and in the end it was a bit of a last minute thing getting a location sorted out as she was out during the day having an extended boozy lunch with friends, so it was difficult to get hold of her. She lives quite near me so it wasn't a huge problem as we were meeting fairly locally in Hampton Court, but I didn't get a response from her until it was getting close to 7pm so I had to get my skates on as we'd agreed to meet at 7:30pm.

As it happens I was early, but she was even earlier and texted from the pub to ask me what drink I wanted and to tell me that she was sat at the bar. As I was only about a minute away, I let her know that I'd be through the door in a few seconds. Then, just as I was about to go in: I let a really tall, scruffy, physical freak of a man with long greasy hair and dodgy glasses through the door before me. As I was following him in, I saw her face look in absolute horror in his direction and then turn to complete relief as he walked past her...and then we both saw each other and burst out laughing.

That was a really good ice-breaker of sorts as it was a really funny start to the evening, although I'm not sure that the greasy haired guy was overly pleased at the muffled giggles emanating from our table every time he walked past us during the night.

The whole night was really fun and the conversation easily flowed and I haven't laughed so much or felt so comfortable on a date for a very long time. She seemed to be laughing a lot and enjoying herself too. However, that may have been helped by the fact that she was a little bit tipsy when she turned up, and I think that she must have had a fair bit beforehand as she ordered a glass of water with her red wine.

We stayed almost to closing time and as we left to go our separate ways home: she said that she'd had a wonderful night and that she felt that she'd known me for years, which I thought was a good sign as I felt the same. She was absolutely hilarious, good looking and she really did enchant me with her company.

I decided to email her the next day and I basically said that I'd had a really enjoyable night and that if she wanted to go out again then to let me know (in hindsight, I shouldn't have left it so open-ended). She took a couple of days to reply and in the email she didn't mention anything about meeting up again, but just told me about her rubbish day at work and asked me how mine had been. I found the fact that she'd completely skirted the issue of another date really strange, so I just responded in a similar manner asking about her day etc. I received another email from her then nothing more.

Normally in these cases, I can usually take the hint but as she'd made such a good first impression on me, I decided to try one more time and so I texted her, about a week later, asking if she fancied going out for another drink. She replied and said that she felt bad, but she was going on a date with someone she'd been in contact with for a while the next week and that she hated mucking people around. She said she'd had a real laugh when we met, and so could we keep it as friends?

I responded by saying that I'd had a real laugh too and that of course friends was alright. She texted me a couple of days later asking my opinion on a band that she liked and after exchanging a few texts they just stopped and I never heard from her again.

In the end I was glad to finally get a straight forward reply from her, even if it wasn't the response that I was after, as although I'd guessed what the outcome would be, I still felt a bit in limbo for a couple of weeks as I always try to be optimistic. I probably didn't have much of a chance anyway, considering she had another date lined up.

Oh Christ, I've just thought...she can't be going out with that chap with greasy hair and dodgy glasses, can she?! What an absolute cad and a dark horse he turned out to be.

UPDATE (April 2012): After admitting defeat with Date 67, I presumed that I'd never see her again. I'd deleted her from my phone and hadn't had any contact with her for over two months, however, one Sunday morning I thought that I'd give it one last try. As I didn't have her number in my phone, I eventually found it after going through a load of deleted emails on match.com and I figured that I'd have nothing to lose by getting in touch with her. She'd left a really good impression on me after our first date and so I texted her to see if she fancied going out for another drink. To my absolute amazement, she replied within a minute and said yes. We then texted a bit, back and forth, and agreed to meet up on the Friday night.

As she lives near me, I asked her if she wanted to stay local and then the texts stopped. I hadn't heard anything all week, so texted her on the Thursday night just to make sure we were still on for the following evening and thankfully she replied and suggested that we meet at the BFI Bar along Southbank. So, we initially met there but it was so rammed that we went for a little stroll and found a decent pub near Blackfriars Bridge and, like the first date, got on absolutely splendidly. Although we don't have that much in common, I felt really comfortable in her company and we possess a similar sense of humour and never ran out of things to say, which is always a good start.

After a couple of drinks and her introducing me to the fiendishly addictive game, Draw Something (more of this later), she suggested that we go back to the BFI Bar as it was bound to be less busy. However, when we got there at about 10:30pm, it was still full to the rafters, but we fought our way to the bar anyway. After a few minutes, she asked me if I noticed anything strange about the clientèle, which I hadn't, and she informed me that everyone in there was a woman. After asking a few people, it turned out that it was the Lesbian and Gay Film Festival, which would explain why it was so busy and why I was the only man in there. We only had one drink as the bar closed and she also said that she felt a bit uncomfortable due to it being so packed and because all eyes were on her; so we made our way back to the station and got the same train home as she lived one stop before me. During the journey home she invited me to a party at hers in a couple of months and when she got off, she told me that she'd had a wonderful evening.

I then left it a few days and texted her on the Monday night to see how a wedding she'd been at on the Saturday had gone, and she replied asking me about a friend's Birthday drinks I'd been at in Camden. I replied to that telling her about it and asked her how she was fixed for that week and got nothing. Weirdly though, a day or so later she played a move against me on Draw Something but never replied to my text.

All through the week I still thought that I'd hear back from her and again felt in complete limbo when I didn't receive a reply. Two weeks then went by and still nothing, so I thought I'd give it one last try and so I texted her and asked if she fancied going out for a drink in the next week or so. I never heard back from her but a few hours after I'd sent it she started a game of Draw Something with me and didn't reply to my text.

I've got to say that out of all the 69 dates I've been on, she was by far my favourite. I also didn't feel that I'd forced the issue in any shape or form as I played it cool and I felt that I was very patient. I don't quite understand why she agreed to see me again and then just ignore me completely. I've been on plenty of dates where I've been ignored in the aftermath, which I've always accepted because you get used to it, although it is still plain rude and how can it hurt to just send back a polite 'no thank-you?' However, the thing that I find most bizarre is the fact that after both texts, she'd start a game with me on Draw Something shortly afterwards, despite the fact that we hadn't been playing against each other in between the two texts. I've therefore come to the conclusion that she's just subtly teasing me as she clearly knows that I like her and she knows that I'm waiting for her to reply to me, but I can only assume that she's getting a bit of a kick and having a laugh out of literally playing games with me.

I normally take these things with a pinch of salt but in this case I don't quite get why she's chosen to be a bit of a bitch after we had two fun dates as it's not as though I've messed her around in the slightest. She's 37 and one would have thought that she'd have a mature attitude, although perhaps the fact that she teaches teenagers maybe says it all as their behaviour is clearly rubbing off on her. I've learnt my lesson though and won't be contacting her again which is a shame as I really liked her. I won't be playing my move of Draw Something against her either...

Date 66

"Still I must speak frankly, Mr Shankly. Oh, give us your money."

I'd been holding off writing this blog entry for quite a while now as I genuinely thought that there was going to be a third date, but sadly I've come to the conclusion that I've been taken for a bit of a ride by her.

She'd initially winked at me on Match.com, which is quite a rarity as no-one really looks at my profile, although funnily enough this only happens when I have an active subscription because when I'm not a fully paid up member my profile gets upwards of 20 views a day....what a coincidence, I wonder what that's about. So, I sent her a message as she looked and sounded great, and she replied. We exchanged a few lengthy emails as we had quite a lot in common, then they just stopped. I thought that I must have bored her until I finally got an apologetic message from her about a month later saying she'd been busy with work and she'd been abroad for business a lot so hadn't had time to reply, and she asked me if I fancied going for a drink.

So, we met up at the BFI on SouthBank (a particular fave bar of mine) and had a wonderful evening as we just clicked straight away. She'd studied at Newcastle University (I'm a Geordie by birth and lived there util I was 16), she'd been a season ticket holder at Crystal Palace since she was 15 and as we were the same age, we had a lot of similar reference points in terms of music, film tv etc., so we had absolutely loads to talk about. I've never had a type of woman that I look for but out of all the dates I've met so far she seemed to be one that ticked all the boxes.

A couple of days later I messaged her asking if she'd like to go on a second date and a week or so later she replied in the affirmative saying that she'd had a really great time and that she really wanted to see me again. The only thing was, as she was busy with work, the only available time to see me was for a gig she had a spare ticket for. The band in question were The Drums (more about them later), and ordinarily if it had been anyone else I would have politely declined the offer, but I really wanted to see her again, and she apparently wanted to see me again too, so I accepted her offer.

By this time I'd come to realise that she was really slow in replying to emails (often taking between 1 and 3 weeks) and in between dates we barely had any contact. However, I actually think that this is a good thing as when you're in constant contact with someone from a dating website then you get used to always hearing from them and you probably think that you know them better than you actually do, and then when they don't want to see you again it's always a bit harder to take when all contact just stops.

So, we met for round 2 a few weeks later with both dates taking place either side of my brief dalliance with Date 67. We had a quick bite to eat at Wagamamas in Camden, then made our way to The Roundhouse, which was incidentally my first visit there. I'd purposely not done any research on The Drums as I knew that they wouldn't be my cup of tea and one of my friends had described them as being vanilla dull...and she wasn't wrong! I was also a bit surprised that I had to pay full whack for my ticket as well as she hadn't mentioned that beforehand. I'm not sure about the etiquette of going to a gig of a band that you have no interest in on a second date, but if it had been a gig that I'd wanted a date to go with me to, then I wouldn't have expected them to pay for it, particularly if I knew that it wasn't a band that they had any knowledge of.

As I knew nothing about them, I had no expectations, therefore, I wasn't going to be disappointed, but I couldn't not be as they were the most blandest and unimaginative alleged set of musicians that I'd ever laid eyes on. I went on a bit of a rant about Elbow in Date 65's blog entry, but I'd rather go and see them any day of the week than these set of soporific sell-outs. Aside from them being so boring though, the weirdest part of the night was when Boy George stumbled onto stage mid-set. He then proceeded to sing one of their songs with them then they all did a rendition of 'Do You Really Want to Hurt Me,' in which my reply was 'yes, I do really want to hurt The Drums....a lot.' At least I was familiar with one song then.

That's not to say that I didn't enjoy seeing Date 66, but as we were there for 2 or 3 hours including the support act too, the loud music meant that we couldn't exactly converse with one another for most of the night. A few friends said that I shouldn't have gone but as she'd made it clear that she wanted to see me again I thought that I had to show willing and that hopefully it would give me some brownie points and that I'd see her again. And it's not as though I went into a sulk while I was there as I made the best possible effort of looking like I was having a fun time.

As we were waiting for the tube home, I gave her my email address, as my Match.com subscription was about to expire, and as the next day she was about to embark on lots more travelling abroad over the next couple of months, she said that she'd mail me when she was away.

A couple of weeks later and I'd not heard anything from her, which wasn't unusual, but there was a gig that I was interested in going to and as I didn't have her email address, I texted her to see if she wanted to go and see Kate Jackson (former Long Blonde lead singer) at the end of March. She replied a few days later from New York and said she couldn't as she'd be in Amsterdam then. We exchanged a couple more texts and I suggested that maybe we could meet up once she was travel free. She didn't reply and I never heard from her again.

This was a real shame as we'd got on exceptionally well on the first date and I was quite excited beforehand for the next one as I hadn't been on a second date for well over 18 months. However, in retrospect, I think that she just needed someone to pay for her spare ticket and accompany her to the gig and I was the sucker that obliged. Still, at least I was able to fulfil a life long ambition of seeing Culture Club's lead singer in the flesh...

UPDATE: About 6 weeks after our last bit of contact, I thought that I'd text her again and see if she fancied going for another drink. She responded a few days later and basically said that she was too busy to see me again so I didn't reply and deleted her number from my phone.

Date 65

"Death At One's Elbow."

As mentioned in the previous 2 blog entries, during a 3 day free trial with match.com I had sent messages to 6 women and not received a reply from any of them. Well, about a month later one of them did reply.

After exchanging a fair few emails I decided to ask her out for a drink and she accepted. We had a few things in common such as sharing the same birthplace (Newcastle upon Tyne) and both supporting the same football team (Newcastle United of course), so plenty to talk about, one would have thought.

Sadly, the date turned out to be excruciating in terms of making conversation. I think that I may have even just started making things up to avoid the awkward and painful silences. She was 8 years older than me and very attractive, but completely humourless and a bit up her own arse. Normally, these uncomfortable dates only last a couple of drinks, but this one lasted 4, so I think she really just wanted a drinking buddy for the evening as she didn't hide the fact that she thought that my banter was bobbins.

As a footnote to the evening, I'd like to point out that I'm a huge music fan, and whilst most of the bands that I love are relatively obscure, I do have quite varied tastes. I can be a bit of a music snob at times, however, I also have plenty of guilty pleasures which I daren't mention here and if I genuinely like the sound of a song then it doesn't matter who it is by. I do also think though that you can really tell a lot about the personalities of people by their tastes in music. A case in point would be the band Elbow (see also U2, Snow Patrol, Kasabian, Oasis, Coldplay, Blur, Stereophonics, Muse etc.). This will probably upset a lot of people, but they really are one of my pet hates. They're quite clearly nice guys and have done well for themselves of late after so many years of being in the music wilderness; but to me they are blandness personified. And they can in no way be defined as alternative or exciting. Date 65's favourite band of all time are Elbow, and to paraphrase one of my friends: it's ok to like them but you just can't have them as your favourite band as that just shows a lack of imagination. She was also a huge James Morrisson fan too, so I rest my case. Rant over. This of course doesn't make her a bad person though, but is merely an observation.

Anyway, as the date came to a close, the finale amused me somewhat. As I was going back to Waterloo to catch the train home, I asked her if she was going there too and she was, so we started walking back together. However, half way there, she suddenly, without warning, sprinted off in the direction of a cab, told me it was nice to meet me, jumped in and then sped off into the gloom. A fitting end I thought!

Date 64

"I swear to God, I swear I never even knew what drugs were."

You know that weird time period between Christmas and New Year when you just feel in complete limbo, and time just seems to stop; especially when you're not at work? Well, that's what I blame for selling my soul to the devil again and going back onto match.com. Despite vowing never to go back to the dark side after my experience with Date 55 in particular, and not getting any replies from 6 women after my free 3 day trial (which I previously mentioned during Date 63's entry); I was offered 2 months for the price of 1 and boredom, curiosity and an unexplainable feeling of impending doom with 2012 fast approaching led me to sign up again.

So, to my first date of 2012. The world hadn't ended and I was actually surprised that this person responded to my message as she was an absolute stunner. Obviously, I'm not shallow enough to just make contact with women due to their looks as their profile and interests have to engage me too, but despite what anyone says, it's only human nature to be drawn to the pictures first, and that is exactly how dating sites are designed to draw you in as the picture of the person is the focal point of the profile. Conversely, there are lots that I'll click on due to their pleasing aesthetic qualities that simply bore me to tears.

The lady in question was Australian, 4 years older than me and as it happened she was back home down under for Christmas and New Year when our messaging took place, ah, the marvels of the internet. We seemed to have a few things in common, mainly to do with music and she came across as quite witty, which is always a good start, and after several emails she asked if I'd like to meet up once she was back in the UK, to which I replied in the affirmative.

Every time I've met someone for a date, it has always been for a drink or a coffee, but on this occasion she was quite adamant that it had to be dinner, and even when I suggested we could have a swift half at a bar nearby beforehand she was having none of it. She must have been absolutely ravenous.

So, we met in a restaurant along the SouthBank. Although it was quiet, I wasn't quite sure it was her at first so didn't go over to her initially as I wasn't convinced it was her. Although I found her attractive, her profile pictures looked to be from about 5 years ago, so she could have been extremely photogenic, a whizz on Photoshop or perhaps she'd just experienced a particularly hard day at work. I found this quite interesting though, as during the date she told me that one of her pet hates was people putting out of date pictures on their dating profiles...

After exchanging a few pleasantries and ordering a bottle of red wine and food, my opening line was to ask her why she'd decided to come and live in London. Quick as a flash she replied that it was because drugs were cheaper over here. I actually thought she was joking but as it turned out, every anecdote or reference was about drugs for most of the night. I'm certainly not averse to drug use as I dabbled in my youth and I'm certainly someone who believes in each to their own, but when a 39 year old admits to you that they have to smoke a spliff a day then I find that a little unusual considering I grew out of that sort of thing in my 20's.

We got on well though as she was really funny and full of good stories, but the date only lasted as long as the meal as she said she had to be up early the next morning for her job in finance. We went our separate ways at Waterloo station and I never heard from her again. By the same token though, I didn't contact her either purely because I've become a bit sick of either being ignored when I enquire about second dates or receiving arsey replies, so I decided to go with a new strategy and wait for her to contact me. She obviously didn't and although I would have been quite happy to see her again, I wasn't particularly disappointed as I didn't think she was that into me anyway. Although, having said that, I've given up trying to read signals on dates so I could have been wrong and she could have been waiting by her laptop or phone for weeks, weeping and wondering why I hadn't been in touch.

Date 63

"Oh, there's more to life than books you know."

My most barren year yet since I started being properly pro-active on my internet dating adventures, with only 5 dates to speak of; and none of them led to a second date. It definitely hasn't been through a lack of effort on my part, but no-one seems to reply to me anymore regardless of what site I'm on. To highlight this, I recently went back on match as they'd sent me a free 3 day trial. I decided to make the most of the beautiful freeness on offer so I messaged six girls and not one of them responded to me. When match sent me another offer of a discounted rate to extend my subscription, I hastily made my excuses and left.

Anyway, back to my second and final date from Guardian Soulmates. The person in question was a Dutch lady, a few years older than me, and she worked as a freelance book interpreter. We had a few drinks and, although we had some things in common, there just wasn't a connection between us and I don't think that I fancied her despite her having a cool and unusual rose tattoo on her wrist. I thought that at the end of the date she actually wanted to see me again as she started telling me what a fantastic guy I was, but this was just to let me down gently in case I wanted to see her again. I wasn't disappointed in the slightest and I completely agreed with her assessment that we'd had a nice evening but there wasn't a spark between us. Although I felt the same way as her and wouldn't have gone on a second date anyway, I completely respected her honesty in telling me afterwards and it would have been nice if some of the other women that I'd met had been so up front and mature.