Date 64

"I swear to God, I swear I never even knew what drugs were."

You know that weird time period between Christmas and New Year when you just feel in complete limbo, and time just seems to stop; especially when you're not at work? Well, that's what I blame for selling my soul to the devil again and going back onto match.com. Despite vowing never to go back to the dark side after my experience with Date 55 in particular, and not getting any replies from 6 women after my free 3 day trial (which I previously mentioned during Date 63's entry); I was offered 2 months for the price of 1 and boredom, curiosity and an unexplainable feeling of impending doom with 2012 fast approaching led me to sign up again.

So, to my first date of 2012. The world hadn't ended and I was actually surprised that this person responded to my message as she was an absolute stunner. Obviously, I'm not shallow enough to just make contact with women due to their looks as their profile and interests have to engage me too, but despite what anyone says, it's only human nature to be drawn to the pictures first, and that is exactly how dating sites are designed to draw you in as the picture of the person is the focal point of the profile. Conversely, there are lots that I'll click on due to their pleasing aesthetic qualities that simply bore me to tears.

The lady in question was Australian, 4 years older than me and as it happened she was back home down under for Christmas and New Year when our messaging took place, ah, the marvels of the internet. We seemed to have a few things in common, mainly to do with music and she came across as quite witty, which is always a good start, and after several emails she asked if I'd like to meet up once she was back in the UK, to which I replied in the affirmative.

Every time I've met someone for a date, it has always been for a drink or a coffee, but on this occasion she was quite adamant that it had to be dinner, and even when I suggested we could have a swift half at a bar nearby beforehand she was having none of it. She must have been absolutely ravenous.

So, we met in a restaurant along the SouthBank. Although it was quiet, I wasn't quite sure it was her at first so didn't go over to her initially as I wasn't convinced it was her. Although I found her attractive, her profile pictures looked to be from about 5 years ago, so she could have been extremely photogenic, a whizz on Photoshop or perhaps she'd just experienced a particularly hard day at work. I found this quite interesting though, as during the date she told me that one of her pet hates was people putting out of date pictures on their dating profiles...

After exchanging a few pleasantries and ordering a bottle of red wine and food, my opening line was to ask her why she'd decided to come and live in London. Quick as a flash she replied that it was because drugs were cheaper over here. I actually thought she was joking but as it turned out, every anecdote or reference was about drugs for most of the night. I'm certainly not averse to drug use as I dabbled in my youth and I'm certainly someone who believes in each to their own, but when a 39 year old admits to you that they have to smoke a spliff a day then I find that a little unusual considering I grew out of that sort of thing in my 20's.

We got on well though as she was really funny and full of good stories, but the date only lasted as long as the meal as she said she had to be up early the next morning for her job in finance. We went our separate ways at Waterloo station and I never heard from her again. By the same token though, I didn't contact her either purely because I've become a bit sick of either being ignored when I enquire about second dates or receiving arsey replies, so I decided to go with a new strategy and wait for her to contact me. She obviously didn't and although I would have been quite happy to see her again, I wasn't particularly disappointed as I didn't think she was that into me anyway. Although, having said that, I've given up trying to read signals on dates so I could have been wrong and she could have been waiting by her laptop or phone for weeks, weeping and wondering why I hadn't been in touch.

Date 57

"Then on the sand, another man, he takes her hand, a smile lights up her stupid face (and well it would)."

After not having much success on match.com I decided to try a free site as I was starting to begrudge having to fork out money on a monthly basis just to meet the occasional weirdo or person with no manners.

The site in question was called OKCupid and it certainly on paper is one of the better free sites around. In fact, its design layout and volume of people registered puts most of the famous pay-sites to shame. Being free and having lots of members, though, doesn't equate to going on a lot of dates, which is something that I will address further in a future blog entry.

After being on the site for a few months and basically not receiving any replies or interest, I was amazed when date 57 contacted me. After exchanging a few messages, we then agreed to meet for a drink at the end of October 2010. The first things I noticed about her were her Elvis/Marilyn earrings and height. Her profile said she was 5'10'' but she's actually about 6'2'', so she pretty much towered above me as I'm not particularly tall. Anyway, we got on exceptionally well and she completely drank me under the table, although she does have the advantage of being Amazonian, Australian and still being in the throes of youth as I'm more than 5 years older than her. She tainted herself slightly by opining that The Smiths 'are so depressing,' but she redeemed herself when she let on to me that she was addicted to Final Fantasy (a Playstation title I used to be into when I was a big gamer years ago).

Our second date was a week later and started off in Angel. It was bonfire night so I bought her some jumbo sparklers, which she loved, and we made our way to Camden, lighting a few along the way. We went to so many pubs that I lost count, via a really bad Mexican restaurant, where the Mariachi band just wouldn't leave us alone and we had some really strong cocktails. Then at the end of the night I was really surprised when she asked me to go back to hers, although she said that she couldn't promise me any 'sexy sex' (her exact words). We'd already drank a vast quantity of alcohol that night and when we got back to hers we started on a bottle of red. So, by the time we did go to bed we both fell asleep instantly whilst watching The Time Traveller's Wife, which I've since been told is the best way to see it. And there was no 'sexy sex.'

The next morning I woke up with the worst hangover I've ever had in my life, yet she was remarkably as fresh as a daisy, suffering no ill effects whatsoever. I must have been still drunk as I felt like I was in someone else's body. We then went to a cafe and she polished off a full English breakfast without any trouble, yet I could only manage one or two bites out of a bacon sandwich before I had to admit defeat and leave the rest. I must have been terrible company, but I just couldn't function properly and all I could think of was the long journey home, which took 2 hours on the tube and train, and how I just wanted to go to bed for the rest of the day. I explained to her that I just felt so ill that I really had to go, which I don't think she understood, but if I'd have felt fine then I would genuinely have stayed with her.

Arranging a 3rd date then became a bit of a problem as she kept cancelling on me at the last minute. I did think at the time that it was because of my poor showing the morning after our second date but I needn't have worried as I received an interesting text from her on the morning of our 3rd date. In it she said that she liked being with me but only as a friend and that she'd been seeing someone else at the same time and wanted to see how things worked out with him. I wasn't devastated but I was disappointed and decided to cancel as I just didn't feel like seeing her that evening.

So that was that, and I didn't attempt to contact her. A month or so later I received a text from her out of the blue asking if I wanted to go out for a pre-Christmas 2010 drink. I didn't see any harm in it so I agreed, and whilst it was a bit awkward at first, we had a really good time. A funny thing did happen though during the afternoon as whilst we were sitting outside having a drink and a smoke, a woman came over to our table and basically sat down with us and started chatting me up. This is an extremely rare occurrence for me and we swapped contact details when she had to go, although my Aussie friend actually seemed quite pissed off at this and left soon after. When I did try to contact the flirty woman at a later date, she palmed me off, so nothing ever came of it, but it was quite good for my ego.

I then received another interesting text from her a few days after Christmas. In it she poured her heart out to me and went on a bit of a rant about how all men were arseholes as the guy she'd chosen over me had dumped her on Christmas Day; what a nice chap! I was sympathetic with her to a point but the irony certainly wasn't lost on me.