Date 142

"Alabaster crashes down."

As I've said countless times before, I'm not a fan of coffee dates and I don't believe I've had one that's led to a second meet-up. And this proved to be the case as well.

It probably lasted only about an hour and a half so there's not much to say at all. I don't remember which site it was from although I'm pretty sure it was courtesy of a rare match on Bumble.

The lady in question worked for an airline and she kept making jokes about the fact that she was having her bathroom done at home and her toilet wasn't stable and if you sat on it then it was liable to go through the floor, so she loved using other lavatory facilities as she didn't have to hover. That is seriously the only thing I can remember her saying to me.

She bought me cake with our coffee so I bought her lunch and we must have spoken about things other than loos as we made plans to meet again for drinks.

Drinks then got got downgraded to coffee and coffee got downgraded to nothing as I never heard from her again.

Date 114

"I was bored before I even began."

This was a rescheduled date as she'd cancelled the first one due to illness. She'd also vetoed my first suggestion of a pub to meet up at as she said that she'd always felt uneasy in it but didn't know why. It's one of my favourite ones in Brighton, although during one of my last visits there; someone had had a suspected heroin overdose in the toilets so maybe she's got a point.

As it turned out we didn't stay in my second choice pub very long anyway. She told me that she'd been on her first internet date the previous week (I was her second...what an amateur) and had kept in touch with him as friends. He'd emailed her that day and asked how her dating was going and she said she was on a date in the evening and he was also. At the same bloody pub! I told her it would be a bit weird if he came in, and she agreed, so we beat a hasty retreat with only moments to spare.

We didn't stay in the next one that long either. I feel really bad about saying this but I was quite bored and so I ended the evening prematurely. She was really nice but I just wasn't feeling anything at all, which is rare for me as I usually fancy everyone. I even said to her at the end that I didn't feel a spark but that we could still be friends. I NEVER say that at the end of dates and she was actually quite shocked and let out an accentuated 'wow.' I must be getting fussy in my old age.

Date 10

"Hand it over. Hand it over. Hand it over."

This was a really nice evening, although she was a bit lethargic having turned up very hungover from the night before and stopped drinking alcohol after a pint.

I found her extremely attractive and great company although I'm struggling to remember much more about her. The highlight of the night was definitely a Hen Party on the next table. They were doing dares and asked me for my sock, which I was reluctant to hand over, but they promised to give it back. Unfortunately, the over exuberant bride to be got a bit carried away and threw my sock over the wall onto the sand below and an ashen faced friend of hers came over, almost in tears, to tell me the bad news and profusely apologise. I just laughed and said it was fine as long as she bought me and my 'friend' a drink each, which she did. Later on in the evening the inebriated bride to be came over with my retrieved sock and for the rest of the evening proceeded to shower me with all the other socks she'd managed to collect from other men so by the end of the night I had a huge stockpile. Suffice to say I left them behind but stuffed my own in my bag.

At the end of the evening I walked her to the tube station and she asked if she could text me so I would know that she got home safely and she did. Then, true to form, I contacted her a few days later to ask about another drink and she told me she was busy and I never heard from her again.