Date 93

"Did I really walk all this way."

I was still on a mission to avoid using pay-sites and so my next date came courtesy of OKCupid; I was certainly getting my money's worth.

We met along Brighton sea front and went for a wander, as it was a glorious mid-Summer evening, before we found a nice pub near Hove. We had a few drinks and she was quite good company but there just wasn't any spark or mutual attraction.

She was a few years older than me and a bit of a posh party girl and former chalet girl, so it was clear that we didn't mix in the same circles as I'm a rough Geordie lad. I liked her but we just didn't have anything in common.

When we left the pub she said bye then buggered off to catch her bus and I didn't have a clue where I was so I ended up roaming the streets for quite a while until I used the moonlight and direction of the sea to eventually locate my bus stop about 30 minutes walk away.

Date 70

"I left the North, I travelled South."

With my match subscription expiring and none of the free sites bearing any fruit, I decided to venture back onto Guardian Soulmates after almost a year's absence. They sent me a special discount and I signed up again because I'm tight and clearly a dating whore.

My last experience on GSM had been very different from when I'd been on it a few years ago. In the golden years of 2008/9 I went on over 40 dates, yet when I tried it again, after its ill-fated relaunch last year, my time on it was characterised by rarely getting any replies to my messages and only managing to go on two solitary dates. This time around and after a month; the dating and messaging results are similarly barren.

Date 70 had first made contact with me last year when I had my previous subscription. During that time we had exchanged a few messages and then they just fizzled out without us meeting. I was quite surprised, therefore, when she emailed me again this time around, and she was super keen to go out for a drink.

We met up on a Sunday afternoon, went to a couple of bars, had about 4 pints and reminisced about our childhoods. She was a fellow Geordie and only a couple of months older than me, so we'd grown up in exactly the same area at the same time. It was a very pleasant afternoon despite me having to do the vast majority of the talking and she was very nice but after it had finished; I just didn't feel any great longing to see her again. I'm also ashamed to say that throughout the date I kept wondering what had happened in the last episode of The Bridge (one of the best tv shows ever made) and I was dying to get home and watch it, which is never a good sign. I got the impression that she possibly might have wanted another date but I never heard from her and I made no effort to contact her either.

This was a quite a rare experience for me as most of the time I'm quite keen to go on another date with someone, as quite frankly I normally fancy most of the women I meet, but on this occasion I just felt thoroughly underwhelmed. I've also gone on a bit of a rant in other blog entries, where I've often wondered why others haven't wanted to see me again and I think this has given me a bit of an insight into how people have thought when they've met me.

Date 43

"But not much more."

Very pleasant evening but we didn't have much in common apart from us both being born in the same city, however, she must be the only Geordie never to have heard of Jackie Milburn.

Not really much else to say other than the fact that she was very nice and there'd been a lot of e-mail contact between us beforehand so I'd pretty much guessed how things would pan out, and neither of us attempted to arrange a second date.

Date 31

"And when I fell on the floor I drank more."

Another date and another Geordie lass.

We'd had a lot of contact beforehand via e-mail and our first date was really good fun. She asked me at the end of the night if I wanted to go to see her best friend sing at a gig the next night and I accepted her invitation.

The second date was a bit weird as I didn't really get to talk to her much as all her friends were there and as I'd only met her the previous night I felt a bit uncomfortable because of the fact that I barely knew her, yet was hanging out with her nearest and dearest. The alarm bells then started to ring on the train home as she bombarded me with a mountain of texts telling me how much she missed me.

We didn't see each other again for a week or so but during the intervening period I was feeling increasingly suffocated by her. Her texts, phone calls and e-mails became relentless. It got to the stage where she was actually texting me every 5 minutes, and if I didn't reply to one within a few minutes she'd just keep on sending them regardless.

The third date also involved going to see her best friend gigging again, which wasn't ideal, but we had a meal and drinks beforehand, and it had got to stage where I thought that I should tell her to slow down a bit as I felt she was coming on too strong, considering we'd only been on two dates. Although, I did have a frank chat with her, the rest of the evening didn't quite go to plan, and this is best summed up with this excerpt from an e-mail I sent to one of my friends:

"I had a chat with her last night and told her that the incessant texting was making me uncomfortable and I also told her that things were going a bit too fast and that at this early stage I didn't want to make promises to her that I couldn't keep. Then I got absolutely hammered, fell over, was in no fit state to get home on my own and ended up sleeping with her..."

That is essentially what happened and the whole evening was a bit of a blur. I was very drunk, which is extremely rare for me as I really can hold my alcohol very well, and at one stage I can remember her pushing me onto one of the sofas at the gig venue. She then proceeded to straddle me and she pinned my arms down so that I couldn't move and started kissing me but I can't remember for how long. I imagine that any on-lookers who spied us must have shared my fear.

I obviously felt really bad the next morning and a bit regretful, but sometimes these things happen and I was a bit appalled by my behaviour.

We'd agreed to meet up again to go to the cinema, but a few days before this I just felt that I had to speak to her as I just knew that things weren't going to work out for us as I knew that she really liked me but I just wasn't feeling the same towards her. In the end I rang her up and told her what I felt and that I just wanted to be friends, and to give her enormous credit, she acted in a very mature manner and took it in a very adult way. She also appreciated my honesty.

We then hooked up a few days later and went to the flicks to see The Damned United and had a meal afterwards. Things were a bit awkward at first but as the evening progressed we got on well. I also felt so guilty that I paid for the cinema tickets and the meal. We haven't seen each other since, however, I know that I made the right decision.

Date 26

"That joke isn't funny anymore."

I thought I'd really get on with this lass, mainly due to the fact that she was a fellow Geordie, but sadly it wasn't to be.

She cancelled our first two meetings due to illness and then I didn't hear from her again for a couple of months, but she still seemed very keen to hook up and we eventually did.

Unfortunately she was very grumpy, completely devoid of anything resembling a sense of humour and clearly didn't want to be there and the date only lasted a couple of drinks, and that was that. She also informed me that another date (a much older gentleman) was taking her out for dinner the following night; lucky him.