Date 47

"Media Whore."

This was quite a pleasant evening spent in a bar in Wimbledon. We only had a few drinks and I honestly can't remember anything about her, not that she was incredibly boring, and the conversation was fine, but nothing stands out apart from the fact that talentless Abi Titmuss used to be a close childhood friend of hers (I know, that is really scraping the proverbial barrel!).

She told me afterwards that 'I'd popped her internet dating cherry' and she texted me a few times so I e-mailed her to see if she wanted to hook up again. Her reply made me feel like I'd been rejected for a job interview as it actually went along the lines of 'I regret to inform you that I won't be taking this any further, but good luck in the future.'

Date 41

"Under the iron bridge we kissed, and although I ended up with sore lips."

I had a very pleasant evening with this teacher and budding actress who had a penchant for roller discos. She'd lived in LA for quite a while and had some really funny stories to tell which involved some random encounters she'd had with Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro while she was there.

At the end of the evening and after a good few drinks had been put away, we both got the same train back and just before she was about to get off at her stop, and much to my surprise, she grabbed me and kissed me.

I'd really enjoyed the night but wasn't surprised when she e-mailed me a couple of days later to say she just wanted to be friends, which was fair enough. We then met up in Wimbledon a week later and had another fun evening which again surprisingly ended with her passionately kissing me at the top of the stairs above the train platform and we agreed to another hook-up. I never saw or heard from her again.

I'm not a piece of meat, you know.

Date 34

"Pretty girls make graves."

I was absolutely enchanted by this date from the first moment I met her. We met for lunch and drinks at a pub in Richmond and spent the whole afternoon and early evening drinking lots of red wine, and at one point I spilt some over both of us, which was such a terrible waste and also said a lot for my inebriated state. She was one of the funniest people I've ever met and a typical straight talking Yorkshire lass. As a bonus she was one of the most beautiful people I've ever laid eyes on.

We had a really great time together and as she'd worked most of her life in the music industry, I was fascinated by all the anecdotes that she regaled me with including one in which she'd been given a kettle by James Brown and she still used it.

Things had gone well and she agreed to another date a week or so later in Wimbledon. We had another fun evening and she suggested for our next date that we could go to an exhibition at the British Museum that she was desperate to see and she'd make me dinner afterwards. Although, I felt things were going well I still was apprehensive as I'd been here before. And I was proved right.

I received a one line e-mail from her the next day saying she just wanted to be friends. I can't emphasise enough how extremely disappointed I was but I was not at all surprised. I replied to her after thinking about it and said I'd be happy to be friends as I appreciated her honesty. I never heard from her again or got to see the Godfather of Soul's kettle.