Date 188

"The Hand that Rocks the Cradle." 

Given that this person lived in Kent, I didn't think that there was much chance of us meeting up and I'd not left Brighton since pre-lockdown either. We'd been chatting for a week or so and she suggested that we meet in London the following evening. 

She then cancelled the next morning as her child's nanny possibly had Covid and to be honest I was actually relieved as the thought of getting on the train to London made me nervous. It turned out that the nanny just had some 24 hour bug so we arranged to meet the following week.

This gave me a bit of time to get used to the idea of venturing out of Sussex, although I was slightly suspicious of her being vehemently against meeting at my old favourite the BFI bar.

We were due to meet at 6:30pm on a Thursday but I got a text from her on the day saying we could meet earlier as she didn't have much on work-wise. So, I got ready early and worked out my trains and told her the one I'd get and that train came and went and I didn't hear from her. So, I texted her and she just said: "oh, sorry, got distracted." This pissed me off as we then just met at the original time...

We met at Gordon's Wine Bar and I realised why she was so adamant about this being our meeting place, as she only had to get a quick train to Charing Cross, whereas I had to get the tube as well. As it turned out there was a massive queue to get in so we went elsewhere. She admitted later on that she'd been completely "self-serving" in why we went there initially as it was much more convenient for her, whereas the place I suggested would have meant that neither of us would have had to have got on the tube. Anyway, I digress and to rewind things back a bit, when I caught sight of her; I just knew that I didn't fancy her.

We made our way along the Strand and went to a Tapas restaurant (which we'd both been to before), initially for drinks but we ended up eating there too. I actually had a really pleasant evening and the food and wine was excellent. I also killed 4 birds with one stone as it was the first time since March that I'd been to London, got on a train, used the tube and been to a restaurant. 

I think she really liked me and on the way back to the station she kept asking me if I'd had a good time. I genuinely had enjoyed myself, which I said to her as we were both about to part ways, but I also told her that I didn't see anything romantic between us but I'd be happy to stay in touch if she wanted. She looked disappointed but I said to her that I was just being honest. I didn't hear from her again, which was absolutely fair enough, and that's a situation I've been in many times so I understand that although any sort of rejection hurts, honesty really is the best policy and that if there isn't a spark then what's the point? It did feel good to get out and about again though and because places have to shut at 10pm now, I was home before midnight!!! Woohoo.

Date 167

"I'm just a country mile behind the world."

Finally a date in Brighton! I decided to have a brief dalliance again with Tinder. With 'brief' being the operative word. Tinder is widely thought of as a hook-up site but I'm clearly doing things wrong as I've only ever had standard dates on it.

This woman was very hard to get much out of but we swapped numbers and arranged a first date. Which was no easy thing to organise either. The only time she was free to meet was 9pm on a Thursday evening in Hove. She dismissed the first pub I suggested out of hand, claiming it was too middle-aged; which it really isn't, but she settled on my second choice.

I live a bit out in the sticks so aimed to get to the pub for 8:45pm. On the bus I got a text from her at 8:30pm saying she'd be getting there at 9:30pm. No apology or asking if that was ok for me, just stating a fact. So I went for a wander down by the seafront to kill some time.

When she arrived she looked absolutely stunning and had really made an effort but didn't like my choice of table and didn't say sorry for being late. She didn't drink either so had 2 orange juices and the date finished at 11pm. It was fine but she came across as really ditzy and I got the impression that she was just living in her own little bubble with not much idea what was going on outside of her life.

I did fancy her though and texted her the next day to see if she wanted to go out for dinner. She said yes but only if we could do it again on a Thursday night at 9pm (9:30pm probably in reality) as she had Zumba. The place I had in mind closed at 10pm so that wasn't an option so I left it with her. Meeting for dates only on late Thursday evenings did seem odd.

Eventually she got back to me a few days later on a Tuesday and said she was free that night so I booked a table at a Tapas restaurant for 8pm. She arrived still speaking on her phone, which made for an awkward minute or two, and her eye make-up had all smudged due to the positioning of her mobile. I did tell her so she rushed up to the toilet to put it right.

We had a lovely meal and she was really impressed with the food and restaurant. She did seem really young for her age though and quite immature. Although she was nearly 39 and only a few years younger than me, she could easily have been in her early 20's, which she constantly spoke about. She also seemed to be really out of touch with things: bemoaning her flatmate for shopping online, which she'd never done before and she'd never used a streaming service like Netflix and didn't really know what one was. She didn't like alcohol, coffee or tea either.

I never normally do this but I paid for her dinner. I'd had a glass or two of wine and she was only on orange juice so it seemed easier too. Again it was a brief date too as she didn't want to go elsewhere afterwards so it lasted the same time as the first one.

I contacted her the next day and asked her if she wanted to come to dinner at mine sometime and she sent this reply:

Unsurprisingly, when I suggested a couple of dates for her to come over, she didn't open them in Whatsapp and I never heard from her again. Which, is probably just as well as my cooking is shite.

Date 50

"I smoke because I'm hoping for an early death."

My second date on Match.com was with a New Zealand girl, whom I think was the same age as me. Like the last date, she also seemed very keen to meet up and sent me her mobile number after only a couple of messages. I can't remember who asked who first, but I suggested that we meet at a tapas bar in King's Cross after only exchanging a few texts, so I didn't really know much about her at all.

It was an ok evening but a couple of things stick out which annoy me a bit in retrospect. Firstly, despite claiming to be a non-smoker, she proceeded to smoke all my cigarettes during the course of the evening, as she obviously didn't bring her own as she didn't smoke. And secondly, despite drinking for about 3 hours or more; she only bought me one drink all night. That was partly my fault as I'm a fast drinker so instead of waiting for her to finish I'd head to the bar and get us both one, but she just never offered so I could hardly ask her to stump up the cash as I was on my best behaviour.

After exchanging a few dating stories (I have a few), she told me how she could never say 'no' to men she didn't want to see again so she never replied to them. What was more interesting, however, was an anecdote she mentioned about someone she'd been on a date with, which some mutual friends had set up for her. I can't remember if they went on more than one date, but as he was quite keen on her, he messaged her a few times about seeing her again and was met with stone cold silence each time. It got to a point in which he contacted the mutual friends to find out if she was interested in him and out of embarrassment or because she instructed them to do so, they made up a story and told him that she'd moved back to New Zealand just because she couldn't tell him herself that she didn't want to see him again.

She was quite good company, but I guess the only real highlight of the night was her scarily accurate impression of Cheryl Cole. On the strength of that I e-mailed her the next day to see if she fancied hooking up again, and, believe it or not, she didn't reply and I never heard from her again and so I just left it at that.

Another thing which I found quite interesting during the evening was the fact that one of the perks of working for a media company meant that for some reason she had free and unlimited access to Match.com, which prompted me to surmise that she probably smoked a lot of men's cigarettes and had drinks bought all night for her, never to see them again.