Date 111

"The hills are alive with celibate cries."

I got the impression with this person after a few dates that she was taking me for a ride, so when things ended I was a bit disappointed but not at all surprised. On her Guardian Soulmates profile her blurb about herself was in the form of a poem and so I sent her an equally poetic first message. When she replied she seemed to be genuinely thrilled by my creativeness, although she did ask if I had just copied and pasted the same poem to other women as a first message; which I found a bit strange as I'd included her name in it and had incorporated her interests and other aspects of her profile into it...

Our first date actually took place at the same pub I'd met Date 110, as I'd relayed the story back to her and she wanted to meet there to see if something similarly funny would happen. It didn't but it was still a very fun night and we actually managed to share two bottles of wine between us. I'd also arrived there feeling a bit ill and by the end of the night my voice had completely gone and didn't come back for a few days as I had a very bad throat infection.

I really fancied her and I was very pleased when she agreed to a second date and so I booked us a table at a really posh vegetarian restaurant in Brighton. It was again a fun night and we went through a lot of wine, and whilst I waiting for her; one of the Hairy Bikers walked past me. She did have funny fashion sense though and I'm still not sure about the outfit she wore, which included a very tight dress and thigh-high velvety boots. She did give me a big smacker on the lips though when I walked her to the bus-stop.

Even though we'd been on a couple of dates, I still felt that I didn't know much about her and because she was going into hospital for an operation on her nose; I wouldn't be able to see her again for another month or so. In between dates I didn't really hear from her much besides the odd, short text and it was quite common for messages then to just stop abruptly. I did message her in hospital though to see how she was getting on which I think was good for brownie points.

When we did eventually meet up for our next date she suggested we should go for a walk and pub expedition, which I wan't that sure about. She was due to get the bus over to where I live, as it's quite countryish but as it was a freezing cold and windy day she decided to drive over as her newly operated on nose was feeling painful. When I met her in the pub though, she seemed genuinely pleased to see me and I was feeling in good spirits so bought her lunch too. It was very pleasant despite a flatulent dog sitting near us polluting our meal; and she actually asked the dog owner to take it outside!

Even though she was worried about her nose and the coldness, we went for a long walk over the hills near me and I showed her Steve Coogan's house. We then went back into my village and found to our displeasure that every cafe and coffee shop was closed so we had to venture into a pub which was hosting a wake. It wasn't completely dissimilar to a scene from the tv series Shameless and there seemed to be quite a lot of tension in the air along with an abundance of tattoos and buggies. She said she was going out to the cinema with a friend that night so when she left it was only about 5pm, and because she was driving, we'd barely had anything to drink.

When I messaged her again the next day about another date, I asked if she wanted me to book a table at another restaurant and she said that sounded good and that she'd get back to me when she'd sorted some childcare out. Ten days later I'd heard nothing and texted her to see if she still wanted to go out for a meal. She replied and said she'd not been able to get a babysitter and apologised for not letting me know...She also said that, as she was having an extension built at her house, she couldn't afford to go out for a meal so we could we just go to the cinema the following week instead.

We agreed to meet at a pub the following Saturday and she ended up being half an hour late. I'd also bought us a £22 bottle of wine to share and she never once offered to go half's or contribute to it. Afterwards we went to the cinema, which I'd booked seats for, and she kept her coat on for the whole film. It finished at 11;15pm and I'd presumed that as she was low on cash, she'd be going straight home. This wasn't the case though and as we neared my bus-stop she told me that she was going to meet some friends in a pub and then basically just fucked off without me.

This really pissed me off unsurprisingly and I vowed never to contact her again after this grand act of rudeness. A couple of weeks later though, I still felt a bit intrigued by her and texted her casually to say that I was going to be in Brighton on the evening of Good Friday at a friend's 40th birthday and told her which cocktail bar we'd be in. She replied and said that her goddaughter was staying with her then and that they'd be out in town anyway so they'd pop in. I then instantly regretted mentioning it to her and pretty much forgot about it as I didn't expect her to turn up anyway. As it happened, she texted me during my friend's birthday and said she had been in Brighton but had gone home feeling ill and couldn't make it...

Exactly a month after our fourth and final date, she sent me a text out of the blue, saying that she thought that we were both in agreement that we were not right for each other and she wished me good luck for the future. I thought it was interesting that she spoke for me there although she was probably right! I had always though that our dating had been a very one-sided experience though as I'd always arranged everything and I tended to initiate making contact. Not seeing her very often over a period of a few months wasn't very good for momentum either and in retrospect she wasn't that interested in me; with lust probably being my main motivation.