Date 128

"Ice water for blood."

This turned out to be my last dalliance on GSM before my subscription ran out, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't bothered as it turned out to be a waste of my valuable time.

We didn't live near each other as she was in Surrey and there was also the fact that she was tee-total so we couldn't meet for a quick drink. This wasn't a problem and when I asked why she didn't drink, she said she just didn't need to. I, therefore, had to be a bit creative, so I suggested that we meet at Kings Cross, go for a coffee and then pay a visit to the Wellcome Collection as there was an exhibition on there called Bedlam: the asylum and beyond, which she and I agreed sounded really interesting.

This was also not going to be for a few weeks as we could only meet on a Saturday and we both had plans for quite a few. In the weeks leading up to it though we were in regular contact and a couple of nights before I relayed the plan and it was set in place. I was really looking forward to it but on the night before we were due to meet she asked if we could postpone! She claimed she had some work to do which would take her all afternoon, and said we could meet for a quick coffee in East Croydon instead. I rejected this idea as it would have taken me a couple of hours to get to Croydon, whereas she was only about 20 minutes away. I was really pissed off that she cancelled at the last minute and I suspect that she got a better offer. She did say we could meet properly in a couple of weeks and, despite my misgivings, I said yes, as I always like to give people another chance.

When organising our date she said she could meet me at 2pm but when I suggested we could have lunch, she said it was too late for her to eat, so she ate beforehand which I didn't really understand as surely she could have moved the time to an earlier one. On the way to see her, I was nervous and excited, which were emotions that I'd not felt for a while, but these became dulled a bit when she was late and I had to go looking for her as she didn't know where our rendezvous point was. When I did locate her she looked like she'd just got up out of bed a few minutes before. I don't expect my dates to wear ball gowns but I always make an effort with my appearance, but she looked more like she was popping out to the corner shop for a pint of milk.

She then didn't want to go to the coffee shop I'd chosen as there was a small queue so we ended up going to a Costa. We only spent about 15 minutes in there then made our way to the exhibition, which was nearby. Once inside she then fucked off and went round the whole place ON HER OWN. ON A DATE!!!! I couldn't believe it. If you're with friends then doing that is acceptable but not when you've just met up with a potential suitor. I sort of did that too but kept making a beeline for her to make conversation but she was in her own world. She then sat down to watch a video on a loop for 20 minutes or so. This really took the piss as while she was doing that I went round the rest of the place and kept going back to her and she was still sitting there. I did this several times and each time I went back there were different people sitting next to her every time.

When she was finally finished with her viewing entertainment she then went round to the finish while I hovered about. Afterwards we went upstairs to look at another floor of a different exhibit and she did the same thing! After a while I said I was really thirsty and suggested we go the cafe downstairs as for some reason I wanted to get to know her properly as apparently we were on a first date.

Whilst sipping our cans of coke in the cafe I decided to quiz her on her no drinking lifestyle. She claimed that she just wasn't fond of alcohol and it just wasn't her thing. I then jokingly said "oh well, at least you're not a recovering alcoholic." She then looked at me in a very strange way and said nothing. After a short silence she confessed to actually being a recovering alcoholic and that she'd not had a drink for 16 years. She'd also been in rehab and had regularly gone to AA meetings. This didn't really bother me at all, and I was sympathetic and tried to make the best of an awkward situation. She then announced that she was meeting friends for dinner and we made our way to Victoria together and departed on our separate journeys home.

To me, the negatives outweighed the positives on this date. To be honest, I didn't find her very friendly and I'm not sure she showed much interest in finding out about me. I also felt that I'd gone to a lot of effort in arranging the date and it also took me about 3 hours to get there. I also felt a bit short-changed as we'd barely had time to speak after her solo voyage round the museum. I was certainly attracted to her and I found her intriguing and wanted to find out more about her, so I messaged her the next day about meeting up again. This is the response that I received back from her:

We barely spoke so I'm not sure where she got her information from regarding my expectations and situation. I expected her to say no and, thinking back, I think that I mistook her mysteriousness for aloofness.

Date 127

"I missed my bed and I soon came home."

I'd been communicating with this Aussie lady via Guardian Soulmates for a little while. She lived in London and I happened to be staying over for a couple of nights as I was seeing the Pixies at Brixton Academy, so we met up the night before.

The BFI bar became yet another scene for one of my first dates and it felt good to be back; although it had probably only been a few months since I'd last been there...We had a few drinks and I assume we went for something to eat, although I can't remember where we ended up going.

The night was going well and as the bars were closing I suggested she came back to my hotel as it had a late licence. I was definitely having fun, but my god could she knock her drinks back! I've never seen anything like it it. Even though I was enjoying her company, it got to 2am and I actually was wondering when she'd leave as I could barely keep awake. This is no criticism of her but I actually just wanted to go up to my room and jump into my bed as I was absolutely exhausted. Luckily the bar staff closed up and, as she had work the next day, she rang for a cab. 

As I escorted her out to the front of the hotel, we shared a snog, but in actual fact I don't think it could be described as such as it was the worst kiss I've honestly ever had in my life. I can't even explain what it was like, but I remember afterwards trying to work out what had actually happened. Despite cleaning the bar out she began to serenade me in the street through the medium of dance until her cab arrived.

I liked her and I think I was attracted to her but I've never been so pleased to get to bed. I didn't stir until midday but she'd actually gone into work on time after only about four hours sleep. Is this the behaviour of a functioning alcoholic or just normal for someone born and bred in Australia?

It was quite close to Christmas and she was going back home for a few weeks so we talked about her visiting me in Brighton when she got back. This never happened however. We texted for a month or so, mostly while she was down under, but I didn't have an overwhelming urge to see her again. I'm not sure why as she's a genuinely lovely person, but maybe she felt the same as the communication just fizzled out between us. I did contact her again a couple of months later and she was seeing someone else so that did make me wonder if she'd been working on her kissing technique. 

Date 126

"I've spent too long on your trail. Far too long chasing your tail."

After trying to get by for almost a year by solely using free dating sites, I went back onto Guardian Soulmates after being a sent a massive discount. I was getting a bit fed up with Tinder dates cancelling on me and/or disappearing.

Two of the major times this happened were just so rude. With the first one, I'd booked a table for dinner on a Friday night and only found out she was cancelling when I texted her the night before to confirm. She claimed that she couldn't get a babysitter, although she hadn't made any effort to let me know. But she said that she really wanted to meet me. So, the following week I booked another table at a restaurant for a Sunday roast. She was going to be in Brighton for a hen weekend and even though I said I didn't think that was a good idea as surely she'd be nursing a massive hangover, she assured me she'd go easy the night before, and be fine. True to form, an hour before we were due to meet on the Sunday I received a text from her cancelling as she'd gone home that morning as she felt ill from all the drinking. I really wasn't impressed at all and had no interest in meeting her now.  However, she contacted me later on and said she'd definitely meet me the following week. We agreed to meet on a Saturday evening, but when I texted her to confirm the finer details the night before, she ignored it and I never heard from her again.

Something similar happened on another Tinder date and this was equally as infuriating. In this case we'd set a time and place to meet and I only found out she was cancelling when I messaged her the night before to confirm and she said she was ill and couldn't make it (and again hadn't made any effort to let me know). She said we could reschedule it for the following week at the same time and location. Again, I texted her the night before to confirm and when I awoke the next day I checked my messages and she'd deleted me from Tinder without saying anything. I could have quite easily just turned up because as far as I was concerned it was set in stone (had she not deleted me).

I therefore thought that I'd made the right choice by going back onto GSM after having a lot of contact with a delightful woman from Hastings. We spoke on the phone and made plans to meet. However, she vanished as well when I contacted her to confirm our date...

At this point, I didn't think that I'd ever go on a date again! But then I got chatting to a really funny stand-up comedian and actress on GSM. We seemed to share the same sense of humour and had a really fun first date. I'm not sure if I fancied her but we got on really well and agreed to meet up again.

We continued texting the next day but then they just stopped, so I took the hint, and by now I'd lost the motivation to chase people up.

Date 125

"And time is against me now."

Having met a woman 11 years older than me on my previous date, I went the other way this time and met someone 7 years my junior through Tinder again.

After minimal contact I suggested a drink and she said she could do a Sunday late afternoon as she was in Brighton for something beforehand. That seemed fine to me, however, on the morning of the date she messaged me to say she'd forgotten that she would be going to a gig the same evening, so as it turned out I was only allowed to see her during a brief one hour window in her busy schedule.

It's a shame that I couldn't book a longer 'appointment' as I really liked her, although I don't think that the feeling was mutual. I thought that we got on well and despite the age difference we had similar reference points. To top it all off as well, she was an absolute stunner.

I texted her the next day as I thought I'd made a good first impression on her however, she didn't want a second date as she felt that there wasn't a romantic vibe between us. She did say she'd enjoyed meeting me a lot and suggested we hook up for a beer. So, I contacted her a couple of times more for said beer but she had other things on so I just left it. I'm sure her turning me down had nothing to do with her being a Psychologist either...

Date 124

"And I got confused, I killed a nun; I can't help the way that I feel."

Tinder reared its head again and I went on a date with a woman 11 years older than me. We'd communicated quite a lot beforehand and seemed to have a similar sense of humour. However, a couple of things bothered me before we met up.

After we'd agreed a time and location to meet up she asked me the below question:

I get asked that a lot and it seems to really matter to a lot of potential dates. In fact, someone else on Tinder actually cancelled a date that we'd arranged when she found out my height, despite her being a few inches smaller than me. I've no idea in the scheme of things why this matters at all, and if only these people knew that I make up for my lack of height in other ways...

She did actually say that she'd make an exception with me though as I made her laugh.

The second thing that I found odd was a text she sent me a few days before our date. In it she told me she was in Portsmouth on a date with another guy. I thought this was an unwritten rule in dating? I suppose we all know that other people are going on dates but we don't really want to be told. She also said that she was having a great night and that the guy she was with had gone to a lot of effort, however, she said she'd be friend-zoning him! In this instance I actually felt sorry for HIM. Poor chap!

When we did eventually meet, she was over half an hour late. We got on fine but there was something about her that I just wasn't sure about, and I couldn't put my finger on it. When I got home I was a bit tipsy and she texted me to say that we should go out again and we arranged a second date. I probably agreed because I was feeling quite merry, however, I like to give people another chance as sometimes I just can't tell after one date.

I booked a table at a Thai restaurant for our follow-up and it was a pleasant evening but again, there was something about her that I just wasn't keen on. She had plenty of stories, which included her thrill-seeking adventures sitting on the wings of bi-planes (she'd done this a few days before) and that the father of one of her children was now a successful entertainer who made a living out of dressing up as a nun and driving a mobile keyboard/organ around. Although I still couldn't work out what it was, I think maybe I found her a bit arrogant. As it happened I never contacted her again and she didn't attempt to contact me either.