Date 148

"I must put you behind me tonight."

I've probably said this before but this is when online dating can be such a mindfuck. I've no idea why I keep putting myself through it (probably because I'm addicted and stupidly optimistic).

This solitary date is up there with one of the best I've ever been on. I met this 42 year old restaurant manager in my current favourite craft beer establishment in Brighton, and all the signs pointed to there being a mutual liking for one another. When I first saw her, it may sound crass, but her pictures didn't do her justice as she was beautiful. I had been extremely nervous about this date as we hadn't had much contact and the last time I came to this pub, the date was a disaster.

We stayed in the pub all night until closing time and I really didn't want it to end. We had so many things in common and the conversation really flowed. We got chatting to a couple on another table and told them we were on a first date and every time my companion went to the toilet or outside for a smoke, they said how much she'd told them she was enjoying the date and how she really liked me. In retrospect this probably didn't do me any favours as it possibly gave me a false sense that she liked me more than she actually did. She was also very touchy feely which all the experts in magazines say is a good thing! Right?

We even snogged and planned our next date, then held hand hands as we got in our respective taxis.

I was cautious but quite excited the next day about her. I even told my sister about the date and I never tell her about any of them, such was my misguided optimism. We texted during the day about our respective hangovers and things were going well until I asked if she was free to meet up the following week. She said she would be but was working in London between Monday and Thursday, so I suggested Friday. She didn't reply until the next day and there was a definite shift in tone as she said she now had friends visiting for the weekend but didn't suggest an alternative. I then asked when she was next about and she didn't answer the question but again reiterated how busy she was at work and that she had a really bad cold. The texting stopped and so I messaged her the next day and asked if she was feeling any better and got no reply.

I waited a few days and after not hearing from her I sent the following message and got the following reply:

Due to the fact that she hadn't responded to my previous text and the radio silence, I had been expecting this but I did feel sad even though I had been trying to prepare myself. I was definitely guilty of getting too excited but I'd been hopeful due to the signs she'd been giving off initially. I, of course, over-analysed her response as I found it patronising telling me to keep looking and if she's so busy then why is she dating? The date had been great and communication the following day had gone well but the day after that there was a definite sea change which I can only put down to her sobering up and coming to her sense as I really thought I was worth a second date.