Date 97

"I'm tired and I, I want to go to bed."

The most remarkable thing about this date from Guardian Soulmates was actually the weather, as it was apparently the warmest Halloween on record. So we actually spent the initial part of the evening sitting outside a pub on Brighton beach as it was such a beautiful evening.

I've never really understood what people mean by this when they say it, but she had a really kind and caring aura about her. I can't articulate it very well but there was something about her that had a very calming effect on me. She was also absolutely hilarious.

It was therefore, very strange when she basically just buggered off after we'd eaten. I don't think it was even 8pm and as soon as we were outside the restaurant she said she had to go and hot-footed it out of there.

It was very weird. I didn't fancy her but I wanted to say to her that it had been lovely to meet her and I hoped we could stay in touch, but her abrupt exit stopped me from doing so afterwards and I assumed that she couldn't wait to get away from me!

As it turned out though, she emailed me the next evening and pretty much said exactly what I was thinking:

'It was lovely to meet you last night and you are certainly one lovely human. I didn't have that elusive spark but I would be happy to meet up again for a half-pint and a mooch. Sorry I darted off, I was actually really worn out...'

She had actually mentioned that she lived next door to very noisy students, and would regularly be kept awake by what she initially thought was a very squeaky hamster wheel, but upon further investigation it turned out to be them just shagging. 

Date 96

"Hair brushed and parted."

It's really difficult to get replies on free dating sites. I imagine this is because they are over-subscribed, and from female friends I know who are on them, women apparently get inundated. I still don't see why I rarely get responses though as I write proper messages so it's clear that I've read their profiles and I try to be funny. A previous date said to me once that I'm not handsome but she found me attractive, so maybe that's where the first impressions problem lies...or it could just be that my jokes are really bad.

Anyway, I digress. The point I'm also making is that I do get replies on pay sites so I tend to go back to them. I don't think I've ever had a one month subscription on a pay site and not had at least one date from it. 

So, I went back onto Guardian Soulmates and someone actually replied to me and we met up for a few drinks. It was fine and she was very nice and we got on well enough, but neither of us made plans for a second date. One thing I have to say is that her profile pics looked nothing like her and they were at least 5 years old, AT LEAST. So when I saw her coming towards me I actually just guessed it was her. This is not me being shallow either but my pics are always up to date, so it's not really too much to ask that others do the same. I had a magnificent head of hair in my 20's and as much as I'd love to put those pics up it's not really fair to do so! Not that she was bald or anything...

Date 95

"We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry 

and talk about precious things."

Date 95 took 6 months to reply to me from when I first sent her a message. Yes, you read that correctly - 6 frickin' months. I didn't even have a subscription on Match anymore and so when you're not a paid up member, Match don't even reveal who has contacted you. So I had to do a bit of detective work before deciding that I should take out a one week membership in order to reply.

Our first date was a lot of fun as we met for drinks and then went for a meal. She was very smart, although her clothes were very 1980's, but that didn't detract from the fact that she was very attractive.

We seemed to get on well and I was very pleased when she agreed to a second date. However, it turned out to be a bit shit.

For date number 2, she suggested that we could meet along the seafront and go for a walk as it was a really warm Saturday afternoon. So, we strolled up to Zoe Ball & Fatboy Slim's tiny palace and back again, which took a couple of hours. Along the way she refused the offer of a coffee or ice cream and I'd stupidly presumed that we were then going to head into Brighton to a pub or restaurant, as it was still only the afternoon.. When I suggested this she claimed to be meeting her sister for dinner later on so I ended up being home by 6pm. I hadn't mentioned doing something afterwards when we'd been in contact beforehand as I'd just automatically assumed we would be. How ridiculously presumptuous of me.

I have to confess though that during this second date, we did struggle a bit in terms of things to talk about and she didn't actually have much to say for herself. I also felt like I was doing all the talking and asking all the questions, and I did get the impression that she wasn't interested in finding out anything about me or my interests.

I don't think she really was meeting her sister but I decided to take the hint and so I just left it. Isn't it amazing how an absence of alcohol can change one's perceptions of others? It's a shame though as I did fancy her.