Date 130

"Because you let yours flail into public view."

I ventured back onto Guardian Soulmates after receiving a delightful opening message from this Brighton social worker.

I used to have a line on my profile in which I described myself as having the lower body of a footballer but the upper body of a darts player, and her opening email stated that she possessed the lower body of a javelin-thrower and the upper body of a page 3 girl. She'd charmed me.

We shared the same sense of humour and her texts were hilarious. We had a lot in common too with other things like music and shared a similar outlook on life.

We met in a pub I'd never been to before and I was extremely impressed with the choice of location as it had milk stout on tap! We got on well and shared a kiss outside and agreed to meet up again.

She suggested we meet at the same pub a couple of weeks later as it specialised in pies and she wanted to try one. However, the second date was the polar opposite of the first. She didn't make any effort at all and seemed completely disinterested in me. I was actually quite taken aback and the pies were also very average.

As we shared another kiss outside when we were waiting for her taxi and because she said she wanted to see me again, I thought maybe I'd imagined her apparent apathy. I hadn't though and we never had a third date.

I initially enquired about seeing her again and she kept being quite vague but said we could meet up the following week. However, when I contacted her again she said she enjoyed our dates but didn't feel any spark between us. I was quite disappointed as I was attracted to her, but I'd guessed that would be the case after the subdued second date. Maybe, it was just as well though as she wasn't nearly as funny in real-life. Ouch!

Date 129

"Kitchen aromas aren't very homely."

My first date of the new year and I again made a resolution to not pay a subscription for online dating, so I went back to OKCupid. This lasted all of one date as it turned out.

As was becoming quite common, '129' cancelled last minute when we were due to meet for drinks on a Friday night, due to an issue with her builder. She did however suggest that we should meet for a meal the following night, which was probably a better plan.

So, I booked a table at a Thai restaurant in Hove, which I'd been wanting to try out for a while. The date was uneventful and all I can really remember was that we had to wait 90 minutes for our main course, even though we'd been told that we had to vacate the table after two hours. which they thankfully didn't enforce. It was actually the second time I'd been to this group of restaurants, and despite its rave reviews, I've never been very taken by the cuisine.

She was a perfectly nice person but there was absolutely zero chemistry between us and I was impressed when she said as much at the bus stop. 

So, same shit, different year...